Sunday, September 22, 2019

2019 Emmys ...

Let's get to it …

Aidy Bryant.  You're at the Emmy's hon.  Wear a gown.  Grade:  D


Alannah Harkin.  Oh Look!  Who would have thought wearing your outfit inside out would be such a fashion risk!  Grade:  F-


Amy Poehler.  Girl … come on.  What is this?  A gold jumpsuit?  The pants are too long, the tie is untied, the hair's a mess providing for an overall slovenly look.  Grade:  F-  


 Bethenny Frankel - Very put together but lacking.  Grade:  C



P.S.  That yellow background sucks!

Chloe Bridges - Beautiful girl, beautiful gown.  I love the sheer top although her hair could have been a bit more glam.  Grade:  A-



Christina Applegate.  This gown kind of looks cheap to me don't you think?  I don't know.  Maybe it's that horrible mustard yellow background that is so unflattering.  Her makeup is good though.  Grade:  D



Emilia Clarke.  Tres, tres chic!  Hair is appropriately slick, jewels are perfect.  Overall - WINNER WINNER WINNER!  Grade:  A


Gail Simmons -  Oh Look!  A dress with windows!  How novel.  NOT.  Grade:  D.


Gwendolyn Christie as St. Jude.  All she's missing is her little flame and a halo. Grade: F-


OK, so there was definitely a pink and orange thing going on at the Emmys.  I love this combination, in the right dress.  

Marisa Tomei - Marisa is an amazing actress but is a little lacking in style.  First of all, the bows are much too floppy.  Her hair is ALL WRONG.  The shoes are WRONG.  The jewelry is WRONG.  Love you Marissa but I gotta give you a D.



MJ Rodriguez - OK.  LOVE the pink HOWEVER … the black bows on the sides look funky.  I think a black waist band might have pulled it together, but maybe not.  Anywhoo …. hair, jewelry and makeup are good.  Grade:  C


Susan Kelechi Watson - Beautiful gown.  Hair is perfect, jewels are perfect the whole look is tres chic1  Grade:  A+


Mandy Moore - LOVE HER!  This is a beautiful gown but the top does not look as though it fits properly.  But I still love it!  Grade:  A.


Taraji P. Hensen - BRILLIANT actress!  However, the open V of this gown is too wide.  That bling around the waist is unnecessary.  I can see her Spanks through the dress and the skirt portion is all wrinkled.  Grade:  C-

 

Indya Moore - This is one sexy looking chick.  I'm getting a kind of Star Wars Meets the Emmys feel and it doesn't work.  Double slits are never a good idea and the top looks like a nursing bra. And she obviously has no chonies on … cochina.  Grade:  F-



Kendall Jenner - Kendall is breathtakingly beautiful HOWEVER, this particular gown would have looked much better with out the oil slick she is wearing.  The floral, strapless gown would have looked so much better.  Grade:  B-



Kim Kardashian looks like a looks like a medieval puta princess.  Do I see areola?) Grade:  C (for cheap?)



Lena Headley - BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!  I LOVE this dress!  Ultra-feminine.  Love the hair, love the makeup, love it all!  Grade:  A



Julia Louis-Dreyfus - No need for a picture.  Just look up the previous 14 Emmy Awards … SAME DRESS/DIFFERENT COLOR.  SMH.

Maya Rudolph wore her grandmother's mourning dress.  Grade:  F



Catherine Zeta-Jones.  HOW MATRONLY CAN A WOMAN LOOK?!  Jesus Christ Catherine!  Cut your freaking hair!  Get some layers or put it up in a sexy loose bun or something.  That pulled back parted-in-the middle look is TIRED.  And just a word of advice, there comes a time in every woman's life when you have to cover up the legs when they are NO LONGER ATTRACTIVE.  And bubble-gum pink is a color for a younger gal.  Grade:  D




Laverne Cox - this gal ALWAYS brings it.  Tres, Tres Haute Couture!  Gorgeous.  Grade:  A



Zoe Kazan.  WHAT.  THE.  FUCK?  She is absolutely adorable and incredibly talented but girlfriend seriously needs to (1) get a mirror and (2) hire a stylist.  Grade:  F- 



Vera Farmiga - Another gal who also chose to wear her grandmother's party dress.  Nothing could help this look.  Grade:  F-


Jameela Jamil - beautiful woman.  The dress is beautiful but I am not feeling that minty green color.  However, the overall look is very glamorous.  Grade:  A

Jodie Comer - Beautiful girl.  Love the hair, love he gown, love the shoes.  Grade:  A


Laura Linney - pants or a dress?  Make up your mind.  Grade:  C-


Bride or Groom?  Grade:  C

Melissa Villasenor - Hometown girl makes good.


Naomi Watts - Love the gown, not the belt.  Hair and makeup are good.  Grade:  A


Niecy Nash - Personally, I'm just glad to see that she isn't wearing a stupid flower in her hair!  Grade:  B



Samantha Bee - looks adorable!  Love this look.  Grade:  A


Sharon Osborne channeling Leona Helmsley, the Queen of Mean.  Sharon has just undergone her fifth facelift therefore she isn't smiling.  She doesn't want to crack.  Dress is quite beautiful and age appropriate.  Grade:  B


Gwyneth Paltrow - The Princess of Hollywood.  Okay but those sleeves!  Are you planning to fly away?  


Sandra Oh.  Lovely - Grade:  A


That's it!  Until 2020 … p.s. my computer was acting up so it things look weird it's not my fault.  Please feel free to comment and mention gowns you loved it hated.  

SMOOCHES!


6 comments:

  1. I didn’t do one of these today, so I’ll do a quickie here …
    Aidy Bryant. “Miss Hathaway? Take some dictation.”
    Alannah Harkin. I don’t know who you are, and based on this outfit, that is a wise choice.
    Amy Poehler. If you were going for a laugh with this outfit, you failed there, too.
    Bethenny Frankel at the Emmys is like me at the ESPYs… utterly out of place.
    Chloe Bridges. Don’t know her, and, well, don’t want to.
    Christina Applegate. Love her, hate the dress she apparently got from the dusty section of the Gunsmoke costume department.
    Emilia Clarke. Sorry; as a gay man, I feel that if you’re going to wear a slit down to your waist, you need a little something more.
    Gail Simmons. At first, I thought it was That Woman and wondered what she was doing there, and then I felt bad for thinking that because I like Gail Simmons.
    Gwendolyn Christie. Someone should have forced her to stay home, because this is ridiculous.
    Marisa Tomei. Her dress and hair are as limp as her acting.
    MJ Rodriguez does no wrong; sweet and sexy.
    Susan Kelechi Watson. The long strings make me think the back is coming undone; and did she call her costar Mandy Moore so they could wear the same color?
    Mandy Moore. The top is clearly too big.
    Taraji P. Hensen. As usual, too much; too much fabric, too much cleavage, too much posing. She should try classic.
    Indya Moore is hot, but this is too much. Is it underwear? Did the dress come off in the car? Perhaps she spilled wine on it?
    Kendall Jenner. The dress is a’ight, but she has that vacant stare down pat.
    Kim Kardastrophe. Ugh. For all of it, all of her.
    Lena Headley. Bedspreads at Howard Johnsons have nicer fabrics.
    Maya Rudolph. Little House on the Pray She Gets Some Style Soon.
    Catherine Zeta-Jones. ♫ ♪ She is sixteen going on seventy ♪ ♫
    Laverne Cox. It has been brought!
    Zoe Kazan. Somewhere in Chatsworth a stylist’s body is being dumped in a shallow grave.
    Vera Farmiga. A sexy woman who chose School Marm as a look.
    Jameela Jamil. I can’t with the color; she looks like what the well-dressed orderly will be wearing next season.
    Jodie Comer. DingDingDing. Winner. Sleek sexy simple. Gor-geous!
    Laura Linney. I love you in everything you do … until this.
    Melissa Villasenor. Was prom the same night?
    Naomi Watts. At first glance on the carpet I thought she was Zellweger and I was all “No … no.” When I realized it was Naomi, I was all, “Yes … yes.” I’m shallow.
    Niecy Nash. Too much cleavage. She should have taken that turban and make a better top.
    Samantha Bee clearly came from Karate class.
    Sharon Osborne. I’d say it’s age appropriate but she’s had so much work done I don’t know what age she is any longer.
    Gwyneth Paltrow. She is so fond of herself. Someone has to be because I couldn’t loathe a person more.
    Sandra Oh … My …God. She is always perfection.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DAYUUUUUUUM you are the King of Comments! They're all hilarious but these made me spit out my coffee:

      Christina Applegate. Love her, hate the dress she apparently got from the dusty section of the Gunsmoke costume department.

      Catherine Zeta-Jones. ♫ ♪ She is sixteen going on seventy ♪ ♫


      p.s. Saw your dad is doing better - glad to hear it.


      Hugs to you and Carlos
      XOXOXOX
      Deb



      Delete
  2. Well, on these matters I usually kinda agree with you. This time I have two major exceptions (the other exceptions are minor, so I won't mention them). I'm sorry, but Lena Headly looks like she pilfered someone's spring bedspread and matching curtains. I love Laverne Cox but I don't find wearing a toilet brush to be appealing. There, I've had my say, as I straighten out my buck fifty caftan :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! "Toilet brush??????"

      $1.50 Caftan?!?!?!?!?!

      YOU GAVE ME A GOOD LAUGH GIRL!

      Delete
  3. laverne cox - A+++++. the rest of the filth is not worth mentioning.

    ReplyDelete

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