Holy Moly Guacamole Batman what the hell happened on RHOBH last night?! Erika (“Jayne”) Girardi lost her shit! I mean, she actually SHED TEARS. Now I gotta say that she is one of my favorite housewives. She’s a straight forward-no bull-shit kinda gal and I like that, but apparently the “panty-gate” situation bothered her much more than she originally let on.
If you recall, a while back at a housewives get-together with the husbands, Erika showed up sans underwear. As fate would have it, Dorit’s husband P.K. (what the hell kinda name is that?) was seated in direct view of said bare crotch and stared at it all night long (PERV). If that were my husband his pee-pee would have been severed, filleted and roasting on the patio BBQ. But I digress.
So this became THEE topic of conversation ALL SEASON. Well, in order to bring a peace offering of sorts and little levity to the situation, a few weeks later Dorit purchased a pair of sexy, lacy panties for Erika and told her that ‘since we’ve all seen your puss … blah blah blah’. Erika was perturbed by this and told Dorit that she shouldn’t have gone there, but she was cool. Whatever.
OK. Let us surmise:
(1) Erika, a lady should ALWAYS wear underwear. Just sayin.
(2) You should have told Dorit how much it bothered you that (a) her husband was staring at your cooch all night; and (b) it put you in an awkward position with your husband. (If Danny knew I’d done something like that he’d divorce my ass in a New York minute) …
This has been a running theme throughout the entire season. Panties, no panties and Erika Jane’s va-jay-jay.
Fast forward to dinner in Hong Kong when everyone fucking lost their minds and began attacking Dorit for making Erika feel bad.
We have two camps. One consisting of Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle, who are being fair to both sides, but in truth Vanderpump seems to be judging Erika a little more harshly than Kyle. Perhaps Erika is FAR TOO BEAUTIFUL and it pisses off the Diva Vanderpump. I don’t know.
Then there is Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna. Both these ladies are tight with Erika. However, Lisa Rinna seems bent on destroying Dorit because Dorit told everyone that Rinna puts Xanax in her smoothies. Eileen is truly the voice of reason, but when Erika bites Eileen’s head off Eileen starts to cry because up until this very second they’ve been pretty tight. I was really taken back by Erika’s attitude toward Eileen. Apparently, Eileen made a comment about how Dorit didn’t kill her child (to compare the panty gate situation against) and Erika FREAKED THE FUCK OUT because her son is a cop and she worries about him day and night when he’s at work and might not come home and blah blah blah, and you should never joke about someone’s kid getting killed and on and on and on. BUT for someone who NEVER shares much of herself and really does come off as somewhat cold, it now seems kinda strange that she’s going all ape shit towards someone who has thus far been a very good friend to her.
Though I really like Lisa Rinna she does put her foot in her mouth and has made some really incendiary accusations like asking Dorit if she trusts her husband. Personally I think she has a point. I mean after all, he WAS staring at Erika’s cookie all night. And I think if P.K. were a gentleman he would have avoided looking in that direction. By her comment Rinna is inferring that maybe Dorit doesn’t trust that her husband is faithful. Dorit is of course incensed by this and states that she trusts P.K. IMPLICITLY. So there you have it. This is a pretty good recap of all that transpired. It was basically a fuck fest of hormones and estrogen.
The season is almost ending and we have the Reunion episodes to look forward to where the ladies will continue to kvetch, connive, scream and demand RESPECT as they scratch their way to Hell.