EMMY'S BEST AND WORST ...

So I totally forgot that the Emmy's were on tonight (bad me) ... I just don't look forward to the Emmy's because EVERY year the same people get nominated and the same people win, Julia Louis Dreyfuss, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Julia Louis Dreyfus ... you know and it's like nothing new. BUT, since I know people wait for my take on all the glamour and excitement here goes.

Allison Janney. Fantastic Actress.  As for her look ... I actually like this dress and I particularly like the bow at the waist but I think it was way too wide across the chest.  ... Grade:  A -

Amy Pohler.  Uh.  No.  She looks like a stalk of celery.  And that gold choker necklace?  Totally unnecessary.  Grade:  F-
 

Anika Noni Rose.  VERY PRETTY.  Her waist looks super tiny. This gown has a  beautiful neckline.  White ... difficult to pull of but she does it with real style.  Grade:  A-

Anna Chlumsky.  I don't even know what to say about this dress.  I guess if you didn't know what you were going to wear to the Emmy's and you really loved your drapes ... then a light bulb went off in your little head ala Scarlett O'Hara and Voila!  We've got a gown!  Actually it's not a gown per se, more like a short poufy dress with a train that draws attention to your white chubby legs (please forgive me but you don't show your legs if they look like that ... I'm just being honest) However, hair and make up are pretty and I like the earrings but other than that ... Grade:  F-- (yes ... TWO MINUSES)

Taraji P. Henson.  Girl, you can do a whole lot better than this.  A yellow spaghetti strap dress with silver shoes?  Really?  This is a nothing.  It's boring, unexciting.  It's a D minus with a zero.  I want to see improvement this time next year. 

Claire Danes.  I don't know what it is about this chick but she is SO SO BORING.  Hair blah, makeup blah, jewels blah.  Dress is pretty but you don't know how to pull a look together.  You're hair should be up, maybe some glamazon chandelier earrings.  DO SOMETHING!  Hire a stylist!  Grade:  C-
 

Emmy Rossum ALWAYS NAILS IT.  Beautiful hair, beautiful makeup, beautiful jewels, beautiful dress.  Grade:  A
 

Heidi Fuckin' Klum.  At least you don't look as ridiculous as you usually do.  
But as is your style, you can't make up your mind.  You've got a sleeve, and a spaghetti strap, a cutout, and a slit.  This looks like four dresses in one.  Heidi FYI .... LESS IS MORE.  Grade:  F
 

Kirsten Dunst looking fabulous in black.  Grade:  B
 

Laverne Cox.  TALK ABOUT GLAM!  She knows how to bring it!  AND SHE DID!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A+   (Claire ... are you listening?)
 

Lindsey Vonn.  What a sex bomb! Tiger, you are such an IDIOT.  Grade:  A
 

Mamie Gummer (Meryl Streep's little girl) ... simple, elegant, beautiful.  Very chic and she has gorgeous legs.  Grade:  A

Jane Krakowski.  Never EVER wear this color again.  ESPECIALLY with those little black and white things and those funky green and purple shoes.  This is a whole lotta ugly.  Grade:  F- to the nth degree for SUPER SUPER UGLY. ... and a belt???  If you have a stylist you need to fire her.  Grade:  DOUBLE F-

 

Amanda Peet.  Uh ... I'm thinking bees and buttercups.  I don't know ... I like it, I don't like it.  Her brows are too dark.  Earrings are weird.  Grade:  C

 

America Ferrara.  LOVE HER!  However hon, your dress leaves a lot to be desired.  You are so pretty and this look does nothing for you.  Very average prom looking dress from TJ Maxx.  Grade:  D-
 

Angela Bassett.  Love the dress, love the hair, love the jewels.  Grade:  A

This is the guy from "Mr. Robot" who to me really does look like a robot.  He's kind of cute in a weird way huh?
 

Sofia Vergara looks like she always looks. Curvy and beautiful.  Same dress, different color.  Grade:  A
 

Emily Ratjakowski (I think that's how you spell it) A kind of pretty dress but I don't like the top.  It looks as though it isn't finished.  The fabric and color is interesting however, this isn't a home run for me.  Grade:  B-
 

Madam Tussaud's wax figures of Fred Armisted and Natasha Lyonne.
 

Gaby Hoffmann.  First, you forgot your tights.  Second, you forgot to pluck your eyebrows.  Third, you need to cut some layers into that hair and fourth, have someone teach you HOW TO APPLY MAKEUP.  Grade:  --F -  Did you get that?  a two negatives plus another negative which means REALLY BAD.
 

Giuliana Rancic the Human Toothpick.  Giuliana ... your mouth is starting to jut out like a victim of starvation.  You do not look good.  You need to eat. You need to gain weight.  The dress is pretty but your face and your hair look terrible.  Grade E ... FOR EAT SOMETHING!  I say this with love and concern.  Truly.  EAT.  PLEASE because you look horrible. 
 

Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld.  It must be nice being married to a BUHZILLIONAIRE.
Grade:  A
 

John Travolta and Kelly Preston (channeling Marie Osmond) WTF???
Hon, you'e at the Emmy's ... not your niece's wedding.  Grade:  F
 

Julia Louis Dreyfuss look the way she always does.  Perfect in a non-glamorous way.  Grade:  B
 

Niecy Nash looking very VA-VA-VOOM!  Not many women can get away with wearing white.  She looks really great!  Grade:  A
 

Sarah Paulson and Marcia Clark.  Sarah ... LOVED her earrings not the dress.  Marcia ... your makeup looks great however, you should have worn something with sleeves.  Just sayin'.
 

 Tina Fey.  Pretty.  Typical.  Nothing special.  Grade:  B

Viola Davis, incredible actress.  Love the hair, not the the dress.  Looks like you purchased it from David's Bridal.  And that's sad.  Grade:  C-
 

 

Laura Carmichael aka Lady Edith on Downton Abbey.  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?  I'm thinking Easter Eggs and baskets???  Bunny Lanes?  Marshmallow candy?  Lady Edith is barfing as we speak.  Grade:  F-

Olivia Culpo.  ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!  PERFECTION!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  GRADE:  A+

Robin Wright.  Mhmmm.  The top looks like it is WAY too low.  It does not fit properly.  It's a pretty dress but she either needs bigger boobs or that top has to come up a lot higher.  Also, the shoes are ALL WRONG.  Something more delicate instead of those black satin platforms.  Hair looks a little messy (and not in a good way).  Grade:  D

Sarah Hyland.  Uh ... NO.  MAYBE, and I mean MAYBE, if the pants were white.  But black?  No.  Hair and makeup is pretty.  However I must give you a poor grade because your look is very disjointed.  Grade D-

Julianne Hough.  Ok I definitely have a girl crush on this gal.  She is so freaking beautiful.  She looks really pretty.  I'm giving her a B+ (although she didn't glam it up like she should have).
 

Kerry Washington.  Love the hair!  However, I am not a fan of a pregnant lady showing her big belly.  Not my thing.  The cut out???  Mhmm ... NO.  Me no likee.  It looks like the dress split on the side.  Grade:  D-

Kristin Bell.  PERFECTION!  Very beautiful gown.  Her hair and makeup complement the entire look beautifully.  I loved this look.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A+

Mandy Moore. I think she is so cute!  I'm giving her an A because she's sweet and nice and I like her.  So there.

Michele Dockery.  BEAUTIFUL!  Every time I've seen her on the red carpet she looks perfect.  Very feminine!  Hair and makeup are perfection.  Grade:  A+

Well folks, that's it for this year.  Sorry if I didn't comment on your favorites.  Please feel free to drop me a line and give me our thoughts.  Until next year!  Au Revoir!  Remember ... the Academy Awards are just around the corner!

LEGOLAND ...

I took Friday off last week and the marital unit and I took our grandson to Legoland. He's two and a half.  I'm 59 and my other half is 62.  I leave you with that.  

First, we had to get up at the crack of dawn to drive to Menifee (80 miles away)  to pick up the baby and Lauren.  THEN, we drove another hour to get to Legoland.  Legoland is almost in San Diego.  Needless to say, LONG drive.

We had purchased the tickets a few weeks ago at $89.00 a pop.  Mason was free because he's a little older than a fetus BUT as soon as he turns three it will be a fortune for him to enter as well.  GAWD it just pisses me off that one afternoon ran me approximately $500+).  The way they gouge you at these theme parks is criminal.  For lunch I ordered four hamburger combos ... the price?  $50.00 ... FIFTY DOLLARS.  FIVE-OH.  Although I have to say that that was one of the best, if not most expensive hamburgers I ever had.

Legoland is toddler heaven.  It was SO SO MUCH FUN!  Mason loved it.  It was like feeding catnip to a cat ... he did not stop running, jumping, screaming, playing, walking, pointing, talking, etc., et al. for seven straight hours. 

Know what I felt like at the end of seven hours? ....

This is why God meant YOUNG people to have kids.