VIGGO GETS GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATION!!!!!!

Viggo is not the type to campaign for a nomination.  He's all about the art.  And yet, he has been nominated for three Golden Globes and an Academy Award in the past which is a testament to what a great actor he is.  If you didn't see Captain Fantastic ... you should. 


Sadly, I doubt that he will win.  In fact, he should have won for Eastern Promises which was a performance beyond excellent.  And he never received a nomination for his performance in History of Violence, which, when I saw the movie years ago I said to myself ... that guy should be nominated for an Oscar!


But it will definitely make the Golden Globes MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE TO WATCH. 


I don't know what is on Viggo's horizon.  Haven't heard of any movie roles, but have heard he is planning to direct his first film.  When?  I don't know.  So let's all send Mr. Mortensen some love through the ether shall we! 

ADVENTURES IN DANNYLAND - INCIDENT #46 ...

Ring Ring

Me:  Hello?

Dan:  Hi hon.  Hey listen, can you come and pick me up at the gym?  I locked my keys in my truck.

Me:  Of course you did.

Dan:  I know I know.

Me:  I just got on the bus.  I can’t be there until maybe after 7.  I’ll go home first and get the extra key and then pick you up at the gym.

Dan:  Thanks hon.

I get home at 7:00 pm. Trixie needs to do her business so I HAVE to walk her.  Back home at 7:15.  Get Trixie in the car and take off to get Dan.  Get to the gym about 7:30.  

I walk into the gym and have him paged.

There he is (smile) … he sees Trixie and whistles for her to run to him.

So, there he is.  He has no gym bag.  No towel.  No nothing.  This looks weird.  So I ask ‘where’s you gym bag?’

Dan:  It’s in my truck.  Remember?  I locked everything in my truck. 

Me:  But … how’d you get to the gym?

Dan:  I ran.  

Me:  From work?

Dan:  Yeah.

STUPID ME.  OF COURSE HE DID.  HE RAN FROM WORK TO THE GYM.  AT NIGHT ... IN THE DARK.  IN A T-SHIRT AND GYM SHORTS.  IN THE COLD.  KILL ME.

Me:  You’re crazy.

We get to the car, I drive him to his work where I park by his truck and wait while he goes into the plant to find jumper cables.  I wait.  And wait.  And wait.  AND WAIT.  FINALLY, I get off the car to see what the hell is going on.  There he is … walking towards me with a battery and cables in his hands.

He goes to work.  Lifes the hood, hooks everything up.  Jumps into the truck to start it.  NOTHING.  Jumps back out of the truck, looks under the hood, reconnects stuff, gets back in the truck, tries to start it.  NOTHING.  Jumps back out of the truck, looks under the hood, reconnects stuff, gets back in the truck, tries to start it.  NOTHING.  (Just repeat this twelve more times) … I am now getting very close to screaming.  It’s cold, I want to go home, I’m hungry and I have the dog.

I move my car closer to his truck.  I get the light from my phone and shine it under his hood.  He tries the truck again.  NOTHING.  

Stars, Planets, Universe  LINE UP …. LET’S FUCK DEBBIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

FINALLY, the freaking truck starts.  He tells asks me if I want to go eat something.  It’s 7:50 pm.  I think I’m beyond hungry, but I tell him I will follow him wherever he goes because I’m afraid the truck will die and I don't want him to get stranded. 

Dan:  “No, no Hon.  You can go home.  You don’t have to follow me.”

Me:  “I’m following you.”  (I have experience you see, I KNOW, that if I don’t follow him, his truck will FOR SURE die at an intersection, a stop light, a corner, basically anywhere … and I’ll just get another phone call to come and get him.”

Dan:  Ok.  Wanna just go through  McDonalds?

Me:  Sure.

So, I follow Dan out of the plant.  We come to a gate that is supposed to automatically open.  It does.  However there is a freaking semi-truck parked right in front of the gate blocking the exit and there is no driver.  Yay.

NOW WE HAVE TO DRIVE BACKWARDS all the way down a long alleyway, turn around and go out another exit.  I follow him … thinking we’re going to McDonalds.  Remember?  McDonalds.  We’re not going to McDonalds.  How do I know were not going to McDonald’s?  Because we’re talking about Danny.  We are now going to Del Taco.  Why?  I don’t know why.  

He parks at Del Taco.  We get off. We order food.  Then, in a rush he runs towards the door.  I’m all, what the hell????!!!!  He said he needed to check on his truck. “Why” I ask, “because I left it running and I can’t turn it off!”

KILL ME.

So long story short, I got home at 9 pm.  My entire evening wasted.  No relaxing in PJs, no Anderson Cooper, no Vanderpump Rules.  No nothing.  Thank you.

A RE-POST IN HONOR OF MR. WEINER ... the gift that keeps on giving

Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY), who took a picture of his wiener, but isn't sure if it was HIS WEINER or someone else's weiner because someone HACKED his phone and he can't say "with certitude" whether the weiner is his or not. But it doesn't look like his weiner because if the weiner is his, .... IT'S VERY SIMPLE MR. WEINER!!!! A SIMPLE YES OR NO will suffice. WE'LL EVEN TAKE A "NO COMMENT" ... (and just so you know ... if I took a picture of my weiner ... I'd remember. But that's just me). You see, most "regular" people don't do things like take pictures of their weiners and text them to someone by mistake. Only highly, intelligent and important people like you all, do crap like that. This is mainly because most "regular" people have this thing called a CONSCIOUS ... and a healthy dose of FEAR about getting caught doing disgusting things such as ... taking a picture of their weiner and then sending it into cyberspace ... you know, stuff like that. Asshole.

SO, even after resigning for his disgusting acts it has now come to light that Mr. Weiner has continued to engage in twisted and perverted behavior with anonymous women and anonymous cell phones with anonymous aliases (aka Carlos Danger) REALLY? 

Of course, I feel for his wife.  Why she has chosen to stay with him is really beyond me but since I'm not her, I can't really judge her too harshly.  That Mr. Weiner even has a wife is a mind-blower to me, but if I could, I would tell her to take her baby and leave.  BUT NO.  She goes on t.v., tells everyone she loves him, she's forgiven him, BLAH BLAH BLAH.  And just watch ... they'll probably elect this guy.  Mr. Weiner should thank GOD that I am not his wife because I'd be sending a picture of his weiner to every newspaper/magazine and strange cell phone user on earth ... severed, fileted and roasting on a BBQ.   

Like Eliot Spitzer, the 54th Governor of New York and Attorney General who was nailing prostitutes left and right while infiltrating prostitution in the city ...  
RUNNING FOR NYC COMPTROLLER!  *sigh* ... MEN.  There's no getting around it.  Give them a little power, an ivy-league education, a nice wife and a family and what do they do?  They FUCK IT ALL UP and THEN, everyone forgives their sorry asses. 

I NEED TO RUN THE WORLD.



NEXT, Horn-dog No. 3:  The Mayor of San Diego Bob Filner 

A very old horn dog who has been accused of sexually harassing his employees.  Three have now come forward and one has hired attorney to the downtrodden and sexually harassed, Gloria Allred. 

HERE'S THE THING ... until we start electing WOMEN to positions of power these jerk-offs will continue to harass women, carry on with strippers and bang prostitutes and act like pigs.  And here's the other thing .... NO ONE HAS ANY SHAME!  It is AMAZING to me that a man who can take a picture of his pee-pee and send it to people on his cell phone, GET CAUGHT, have to resign, go through public humiliation which destroys his reputation, humiliate and disrespect his poor, suffering PREGNANT wife ... AFTER ALL THAT, THIS ASSHOLE DECIDES TO RUN FOR PUBLIC OFFICE!

WHAT THE F**K IS IT WITH THESE
PEOPLE?!!!

 

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

An Ode to Viggo

Who knows where or when

my love for you began

it took me by surprise

and filled up my whole life

Some laughed and called me mad

but I knew that was sad

for love cannot be mocked

and Viggo, my world rocked

I've seen his every film, his songs, his poems and still

I love him more each day

and that's how it will stay 

for in my dreams he lives

Each step through ether's door

we meet forever more

and so shall it remain

until my life should wane

- Signed Debbie Nunez Mortensen :)

(yes, I know I'm weird)

  

EMMY'S BEST AND WORST ...

So I totally forgot that the Emmy's were on tonight (bad me) ... I just don't look forward to the Emmy's because EVERY year the same people get nominated and the same people win, Julia Louis Dreyfuss, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Julia Louis Dreyfus ... you know and it's like nothing new. BUT, since I know people wait for my take on all the glamour and excitement here goes.

Allison Janney. Fantastic Actress.  As for her look ... I actually like this dress and I particularly like the bow at the waist but I think it was way too wide across the chest.  ... Grade:  A -

Amy Pohler.  Uh.  No.  She looks like a stalk of celery.  And that gold choker necklace?  Totally unnecessary.  Grade:  F-
 

Anika Noni Rose.  VERY PRETTY.  Her waist looks super tiny. This gown has a  beautiful neckline.  White ... difficult to pull of but she does it with real style.  Grade:  A-

Anna Chlumsky.  I don't even know what to say about this dress.  I guess if you didn't know what you were going to wear to the Emmy's and you really loved your drapes ... then a light bulb went off in your little head ala Scarlett O'Hara and Voila!  We've got a gown!  Actually it's not a gown per se, more like a short poufy dress with a train that draws attention to your white chubby legs (please forgive me but you don't show your legs if they look like that ... I'm just being honest) However, hair and make up are pretty and I like the earrings but other than that ... Grade:  F-- (yes ... TWO MINUSES)

Taraji P. Henson.  Girl, you can do a whole lot better than this.  A yellow spaghetti strap dress with silver shoes?  Really?  This is a nothing.  It's boring, unexciting.  It's a D minus with a zero.  I want to see improvement this time next year. 

Claire Danes.  I don't know what it is about this chick but she is SO SO BORING.  Hair blah, makeup blah, jewels blah.  Dress is pretty but you don't know how to pull a look together.  You're hair should be up, maybe some glamazon chandelier earrings.  DO SOMETHING!  Hire a stylist!  Grade:  C-
 

Emmy Rossum ALWAYS NAILS IT.  Beautiful hair, beautiful makeup, beautiful jewels, beautiful dress.  Grade:  A
 

Heidi Fuckin' Klum.  At least you don't look as ridiculous as you usually do.  
But as is your style, you can't make up your mind.  You've got a sleeve, and a spaghetti strap, a cutout, and a slit.  This looks like four dresses in one.  Heidi FYI .... LESS IS MORE.  Grade:  F
 

Kirsten Dunst looking fabulous in black.  Grade:  B
 

Laverne Cox.  TALK ABOUT GLAM!  She knows how to bring it!  AND SHE DID!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A+   (Claire ... are you listening?)
 

Lindsey Vonn.  What a sex bomb! Tiger, you are such an IDIOT.  Grade:  A
 

Mamie Gummer (Meryl Streep's little girl) ... simple, elegant, beautiful.  Very chic and she has gorgeous legs.  Grade:  A

Jane Krakowski.  Never EVER wear this color again.  ESPECIALLY with those little black and white things and those funky green and purple shoes.  This is a whole lotta ugly.  Grade:  F- to the nth degree for SUPER SUPER UGLY. ... and a belt???  If you have a stylist you need to fire her.  Grade:  DOUBLE F-

 

Amanda Peet.  Uh ... I'm thinking bees and buttercups.  I don't know ... I like it, I don't like it.  Her brows are too dark.  Earrings are weird.  Grade:  C

 

America Ferrara.  LOVE HER!  However hon, your dress leaves a lot to be desired.  You are so pretty and this look does nothing for you.  Very average prom looking dress from TJ Maxx.  Grade:  D-
 

Angela Bassett.  Love the dress, love the hair, love the jewels.  Grade:  A

This is the guy from "Mr. Robot" who to me really does look like a robot.  He's kind of cute in a weird way huh?
 

Sofia Vergara looks like she always looks. Curvy and beautiful.  Same dress, different color.  Grade:  A
 

Emily Ratjakowski (I think that's how you spell it) A kind of pretty dress but I don't like the top.  It looks as though it isn't finished.  The fabric and color is interesting however, this isn't a home run for me.  Grade:  B-
 

Madam Tussaud's wax figures of Fred Armisted and Natasha Lyonne.
 

Gaby Hoffmann.  First, you forgot your tights.  Second, you forgot to pluck your eyebrows.  Third, you need to cut some layers into that hair and fourth, have someone teach you HOW TO APPLY MAKEUP.  Grade:  --F -  Did you get that?  a two negatives plus another negative which means REALLY BAD.
 

Giuliana Rancic the Human Toothpick.  Giuliana ... your mouth is starting to jut out like a victim of starvation.  You do not look good.  You need to eat. You need to gain weight.  The dress is pretty but your face and your hair look terrible.  Grade E ... FOR EAT SOMETHING!  I say this with love and concern.  Truly.  EAT.  PLEASE because you look horrible. 
 

Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld.  It must be nice being married to a BUHZILLIONAIRE.
Grade:  A
 

John Travolta and Kelly Preston (channeling Marie Osmond) WTF???
Hon, you'e at the Emmy's ... not your niece's wedding.  Grade:  F
 

Julia Louis Dreyfuss look the way she always does.  Perfect in a non-glamorous way.  Grade:  B
 

Niecy Nash looking very VA-VA-VOOM!  Not many women can get away with wearing white.  She looks really great!  Grade:  A
 

Sarah Paulson and Marcia Clark.  Sarah ... LOVED her earrings not the dress.  Marcia ... your makeup looks great however, you should have worn something with sleeves.  Just sayin'.
 

 Tina Fey.  Pretty.  Typical.  Nothing special.  Grade:  B

Viola Davis, incredible actress.  Love the hair, not the the dress.  Looks like you purchased it from David's Bridal.  And that's sad.  Grade:  C-
 

 

Laura Carmichael aka Lady Edith on Downton Abbey.  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?  I'm thinking Easter Eggs and baskets???  Bunny Lanes?  Marshmallow candy?  Lady Edith is barfing as we speak.  Grade:  F-

Olivia Culpo.  ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!  PERFECTION!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  GRADE:  A+

Robin Wright.  Mhmmm.  The top looks like it is WAY too low.  It does not fit properly.  It's a pretty dress but she either needs bigger boobs or that top has to come up a lot higher.  Also, the shoes are ALL WRONG.  Something more delicate instead of those black satin platforms.  Hair looks a little messy (and not in a good way).  Grade:  D

Sarah Hyland.  Uh ... NO.  MAYBE, and I mean MAYBE, if the pants were white.  But black?  No.  Hair and makeup is pretty.  However I must give you a poor grade because your look is very disjointed.  Grade D-

Julianne Hough.  Ok I definitely have a girl crush on this gal.  She is so freaking beautiful.  She looks really pretty.  I'm giving her a B+ (although she didn't glam it up like she should have).
 

Kerry Washington.  Love the hair!  However, I am not a fan of a pregnant lady showing her big belly.  Not my thing.  The cut out???  Mhmm ... NO.  Me no likee.  It looks like the dress split on the side.  Grade:  D-

Kristin Bell.  PERFECTION!  Very beautiful gown.  Her hair and makeup complement the entire look beautifully.  I loved this look.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A+

Mandy Moore. I think she is so cute!  I'm giving her an A because she's sweet and nice and I like her.  So there.

Michele Dockery.  BEAUTIFUL!  Every time I've seen her on the red carpet she looks perfect.  Very feminine!  Hair and makeup are perfection.  Grade:  A+

Well folks, that's it for this year.  Sorry if I didn't comment on your favorites.  Please feel free to drop me a line and give me our thoughts.  Until next year!  Au Revoir!  Remember ... the Academy Awards are just around the corner!