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I'M BAAAAAAACK!!!!

OMG I was seriously jonesing without my computer!  So many things were happening that I couldn't comment on or rant about because my computer blew up.  I burned out the graphic!  So today I come to you on a brand new Dell computer!  Yay!  I still have to download Word and figure my way around but I have my blog back and I'm so glad.  I never realized how much I needed to write (bitch/moan/complain, etc., et al.)   

So where to start?  Mhmmm ... well, I got home from work Friday night tired and hungry and my husband decided to go buy Mexican food from his favorite restaurant.  As he was leaving ... in MY car, he did ask me if I wanted anything.  Sweet huh. 
Selfish pig.  bitch please photo bitchslap.gif

OOOOOKAY!  Jodie Arias and the trial that will never end.  I have so many feelings on this.  First of all, I think that she is definitely cuckoo for coco puffs but I also think that Travis Alexander was definitely messing with her head.  This is why one should never mess with anyone's head ... because they might stab you 27 times, shoot you in the brain and slit your throat.  Just sayin'. 











People's Most Beautiful Woman ... Gwyneth Paltrow?  They couldn't think of anyone else? 



Like Amber Heard for instance ... who really is BEAUTIFUL.  Gwyneth ... not so much.

 
 
Housewives of Atlanta are over and Orange County Housewives are starting.  Boy oh boy am I going to have a lot of shit to write about.  First of all Keyna Moore is seriously mental.  This is what malignant narcissism will do to you.  Gone with the Wind Fabulous with a twirl ... GURL you are not. 
 
You're just plain assed crazy. 
 
  
 
And doesn't Miss Phaedra look as though she just smelled a fart? 
 
Next, those crazy housewives of Orange County are back.  They seem to get crazier and crazier.  Apparently, Vicki had a chin implant and some other "refreshing" except that she doesn't look very refreshed.  Her hair is a mess and the craters on her face seriously need filling or landscaping. 
 
 
 
Vick ... the false eyelashes are ridic.  Your eyes now slant upwards and your pig nose is not so piggish.  Are you happy?  I hope so ... cause personally, your face lift sucks.  
 
Tamara seems thinner somehow.  Which is entirely possible since I'm fairly certain she barfs after every meal.  Apparently, the shows big event this season will be her marriage to fiancée Eddie who has cheeks large enough to store nuts in.  The two of them have opened a fitness club and Tamara owns FIFTY-ONE percent of the business which she keeps repeating over and over and over and she thinks that this makes her Eddie's boss.  Poor girl.  If she exercised her brain as much as she does her skinny body she might actually accomplish something ALL BY HERSELF. 
 
 
Tamara has proven to be a REAL MEAN GIRL and I hope that Eddie the Chipmunk leaves her at the altar.  Now THAT would make for a great finale!    
 
Alexis is still stupid but I gotta say I really like her shorter hair.  Jim, her owner/husband, is much happier these days because (a) he opened his new trampoline park; and (b) Alexis is back to being a subservient and obedient wife ... the way God intended (eyes rolling).   Poor Alexis.  One day, after she has a complete nervous breakdown, she'll wake up and leave the Pillsbury doughboy. 
 
 
 
Heather is turning out to be quite the snob.  At a beautiful gala at her beautiful estate her husband had the gall to ask her if the desert he was enjoying was purchased at Cost Co?!  OH MY GOD.  HOW DARE HE!!!  Heather Dubrow does NOT shop at Cost Co!  GAWD.  Everyone knows that only the lowest form of humanity shops at Cost Co!  Heather, Heather, Heather ... do yourself a favor and take the stick outta your ass. 
 
And stop with the Botox already!  You look like a fucken clown.
 
 
 
The new housewife, Lydia has that anorexic look to her.  Like a 12 year old girl wearing tons of makeup.  Right now she seems the most normal but time will tell. 
 
 
 
They are all bat-shit crazy and full of themselves and I hope they all go broke and end up homeless women on skid row.  NOW THAT I'D PAY TO WATCH!!!!
 
SMOOCHES!!


Comments

  1. Welcome back.
    And you forgot to mention: Vicki's fat and her clothes are too tight and she looks ridiculous.
    Oh, and Eddie's queer, dear, though he may not know it yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO!!! I was gonna tell Tamra that Eddie is a homo but decided not to. DAYUM, now I wish I had!!! LOVE YOU BOB!

      Delete
  2. I like Heather. She’s the only one with any class. The rest of them are a bag of nuts. Vicki dresses and acts like new money. No class at all. Tamra is pretty but that’s about it. Alexis is a card carrying idiot. Gretchen is always painted for war. I’m not sure about Lydia. She talks about the lord too much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "SHE TALKS ABOUT THE LORD TOO MUCH" LOL!!! So damn true! All those Christians seem to be so fucken rich huh!

      Delete
  3. Well girl, you are back with a vengeance! I can't disagree with anything! I've missed you! xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I miss you too! Did you my email? I sent you kind of a long one. <3

      Delete
  4. No, I didn't!!! That's so weird. I just thought that it was because you didn't have access to a computer. Re-send it, OK? xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. My God...I am hooked on the Real Housewives of Everywhere. I thought Gretchen seemed like a nice chick on previous seasons, but she really let the asshat out of the bag last episode. What a douche.

    This was fun reading. I think I'll come here for all my RH gossip needs since all my friends and family pretend they're too awesome to watch trash TV.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES YES!! Come back! I always post on the housewives! Glad you enjoyed it :)

      Delete

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