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How to clean a toilet

I don't think there was a woman ever born, who likes cleaning the toilet. When I was unemployed I was able to clean my toilet and bathroom any time I needed to during the day because I was home. I HATE cleaning the bathroom. I told myself that when I started working the first thing I was going to do was hire someone to come in and clean. But I feel terrible about having someone else clean my toilet. I HATE CLEANING MY TOILET therefore, I cannot, in good conscience, even though I would pay for someone else to do it, pay someone else to do it. I am now working full-time and, once again, doing all my chores and housecleaning after work and on the weekend. This is no fun, but it must be done. This morning ... for the first time ... I saw the toilet ... OMG. I could go into great deal but I won't. And I believe me ... I could be disgustingly descriptive ... but I won't. SO, I went downstairs and found my husband and told him that he was going to clean the toilet for me. AND, I said, you're gonna do it the way I DO IT and when you're done you're gonna come out of that bathroom sweating and feeling exhausted so you'll know how much work it is to clean a bathroom. He smiles his little dimply smile and thinks I'm barking just to bark ...

FIRST! you take the Lysol wipes and you wipe down the entire toilet, sides, tank, rim, lid of bowl, top of seat, under seat, don't forget the bottom where all the urine collects in an oily stain because you don't aim straight, THEN, you dry it all off with a towel. THEN, you take the Comet and sprinkle it in the bowl, GENEROUSLY and let it sit for a while. THEN, you take the Windex and repeat all the steps above regarding toilet sides, tank, rim, et al. THEN, you take the brush and clean and scrape the bowl VERY, VERY GOOD. Then flush. THEN, you take the Lysol that cleans UNDER THE RIM and squeeze it under the the rim. Let it sit for a while ... please refrain from peeing for at least 20 minutes. THEN, take brush, scrub, scrub, scrub REALLY GOOD and flush. THEN, put Lysol in the sink with hot water. Take a small towel, soak and wring out, after sweeping bathroom floor get on hands and knees and wipe floor with Lysol soaked towel. Repeat until floor is sparkling clean. Then, Lysol wipe the cabinets, doors, inside of doors, door trim, ...


  1. You go girl! We do almost the same thing and just so you know, JC does it once in a while when I'm sick and tired and refuse to do it just because. He thinks I should clean one room every day and maybe he's right, but I don't. I like to get down and clean once a week and I wonder who he thinks he is to tell me when and how when he almost never does any of it! Hmmmm...make me mad will you...

  2. Debbie,
    Believe it or not, I used to clean restrooms as my main job most of the way through college. I did restrooms in restaurants, hair salons, etc, and the worse of the worst, GAS STATIONS. The heads in purgatory couldn't be more foul.

    When I did a place for the first time, I kid you not, all I wanted to do was to detonate a low yield nuclear device there. Honestly, some people had to deliberately miss and trash the place with urine and excrement. I assume it was deliberate, because if it was unintentional, then they must be 100% spastic.

    Oh, and by the way, I know first hand the myth that women's restrooms are cleaner than men's. That's absolutely not true. Both genders seem to think that whole bathroom, walls, mirrors, etc. is the toilet. The toilet itself? Well, that's the very portal to Hades.



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An Ode to Viggo
Who knows where or when my love for you began it took me by surprise and filled up my whole life
Some laughed and called me mad but I knew that was sad for love cannot be mocked and Viggo, my world rocked
I've seen his every film, his songs, his poems and still I love him more each day and that's how it will stay  for in my dreams he lives
Each step through ether's door we meet forever more and so shall it remain until my life should wane
- Signed Debbie Nunez Mortensen :) (yes, I know I'm weird)