Housewife updates ...

I know I haven't written much about those wacky housewives over on Bravo lately, but the last two episodes of both New Jersey and New York have not disappointed and taken a turn straight back to crazy-town. Holy guacamole Batman!

Danielle Staub (aka The Joker ... for her uncanny resemblance to the man with the same name) ... has proven, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that she is a certifiable nut job. The fact that she is articulate and well spoken is what is so dangerous about her. If you didn't know her from the New Jersey Housewives and met her in the street, you might think she was normal. NOT. (By the by Danielle ... you might wanna rethink the way you paint your eyebrows).

A few episodes ago, she actually consulted with a priest ... because she's a devout Catholic you know ... about how the rest of the ladies dug up her past and were spreading it around town. Even the priest could see she was a nut job. He kept asking her "why do you care what these woman are saying about you?"

Last week's episode, Danielle decided to attend a benefit for a little girl stricken with cancer. The benefit took place at the Brownstone, the Manzo family business (Dina and Caroline Manzo ... who she hates beyond distraction but also worships at the same time) ... she showed up in a Bentley with her popular new BFF, Kim G, and then met up with the rest of her posse .... an entourage of Hells Angels and ex-cons .... expecting to be treated like the Queen of England. The Brownstone, unaware that she was bringing a battalion of goombahs, did not have a table to seat all of them, which they immediately remedied but, I guess it wasn't fast enough for Miss Danielle so she and her crew left the event in a huff, while her bodyguard/friend shouted over and over again ... FUCK THE MANZOS!! That Danielle ... class all the way. (Mhmmmm ... I think a meeting with Clockstopper might benefit Miss Danielle) ... Her irrational hatred for the Manzo family is so pathetic that, anyone who is anyone, can see that she is secretly hopeful that one day she will be accepted into their inner circle. I can't wait until next week!!

Moving onto New York City, all the ladies were invited on a fabulous cruise for Ramona's bachelorette trip before she and Mario renew their vows. The Countess and Jill didn't attend because they're better than everybody else and they also warned Kelly not to go but, because Kelly is non compos mentis (cwazy) ... she decided to go anyway. Well, all hell broke loose when Kelly had a psychotic breakdown. I've been telling you all how she is cuckoo for cocoa puffs and you were all finally able to see it for yourselves. That she is a mother and responsible for molding the lives of her two daughters is beyond unsettling. She kept going from being fine one minute, to apologizing for her nutty behavior, then back to quasi-normal and then back to crazy and accusing everyone of gossiping. Then, she called Bethenny a ho-bag. LOL! UNBELIEVABLE. At one point during all the hoopla the ladies realized that they were dealing with a real loon and seriously realized that Kelly really has some serious issues. Kelly left the trip before it was over because she was freaking out and had to get outta there. THEN, on their one and only day to relax with normalcy, Jill (who cannot sleep at night unless she knows what the fuck is going on anywhere where she is not), decides to fly on down to the Caribbean and surprise Ramona and the rest of the ladies ... WTF!!! I'll say it again ... WTF!!! I don't know what possessed her other than the fact that she HAD to know what was going on without her ... even though she refused to go on the trip to begin with when Ramona practically begged her. Awkward doesn't begin to describe how everyone felt. Jill ended up leaving with Bobby ... in their private Lear jet ... while she cried in Bobby's arms about how mean everyone was to her. AY YI YI. Folks ... it just gets better and better ALL THE TIME.

Will watch the NY housewives tonight and report next seek ... if it's good ... then I'll have lots to dish about next week!

That's all folks!