Thursday, May 31, 2012


Honest to God I don't know why I'm shocked ... BUT I AM!!!  WTF?!?!

John Edwards found NOT GUILTY on one count, jury hung on five other counts.  MISTRIAL.  The bastard goes free ...

AMERICA ... it's time to get serious.  These rich mothers get away with
murder/lying/whoring/larceny/corruption ... it is endless.  I am so disgusted. 

AMERICA ... WE MUST OCCUPY WASHINGTON D.C., BANKS, AND CORPORATE AMERICA.  I will be back with more thoughts after I process this unbelievable verdict. 

Sunday, May 27, 2012


Why is it that a fleck of excrement can stick to a porcelain toilet bowl with such ferocity?  It seems no brush or scrub or sandblasting tool can remove that sucker.  However, I'll bet that if I were to lick it, it would come right off with no problem whatsoever.

I have also wondered why boogers (I ABSOLUTELY HATE THAT WORD) and seeds and crap from your teeth that you spit out while showering manage to stick to the shower tile with such ferocity as well.  The only way to remove them is with your fucken fingernail, and even with that you gotta scrape back and forth for 15 seconds when the last think you wanna do is touch that shit.  Why is that? 

This is the sort of crap I ponder.  

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


I'm a Democrat only because there isn't a party that really represents me and I'd rather eat glass then become a Republican.  However, with that said I just got this email from Nancy Pelosi ...

Deborah --

The last year has been a clear reminder of why we must elect more Democratic women to Congress.

To reignite the American dream, stop the Republican assault on women’s health care, and move our country forward, women must have a seat at the table.

We’re fortunate to have extraordinary women candidates running strong campaigns for Congress across the country.

Many of these tremendous women will be joining me for a special Ultimate Women’s Power Lunch on Tuesday May 22nd in Los Angeles.

If you contribute $3 or more to our Women’s Leadership Fund today, you will be automatically entered to win a chance to join me at this wonderful event (transportation and hotel included!) >>
With your support, women will lead House Democrats to the Majority.

I hope you can join us.


OK ... here's the deal.  How come I just can't have lunch with you?  First I must give you $3.00 and then I will be eligible to be entered in a drawing which will give me a chance to join you at this wonderful event.  Girlfriend ... I am one of the 99% ... you know, I GOT NO JOB.  I'm one of the little people.  However, if I were a billionaire, I would have received an engraved invitation with a donation to MY favorite charity so that I would attend this wonderful event.  This would then give me the honor of sitting down with you, breaking bread, and making policy decisions that effect the entire nation.  

Yes, we need more women in Congress and in government, I've always said that and I believe women should run the world.  I really do, but let's be honest Nancy ... you don't really want to have lunch with me.  You wouldn't like anything I'd have to say.  You might even write me off as a disgruntled lunatic. 

POINT:  All you politicians want to keep the problems of real people at a nice, safe distance.  None of you in government get it.  On second thought ... maybe you do.  YOU know as well as WE do, that the WE, THE PEOPLE, have no power.  We have no power as long as we have no money.  One of the reasons we have no money is because we have no jobs.  And we have no jobs because corporations have shipped them all off-shore because you have all made deals with them to get incentives and tax write-offs and all kinds of other stuff, and ... AWWW, FUCK ... FORGET IT.  *SIGH*. 

Saturday, May 19, 2012


Ok.  Got my dose of dirty T.V. and caught the Housewives of Orange County.  

ONE:  Alexis Bellino is unbelievably DUMB.  She planned a PUPPIES AND PRINCESS party for her twins McKenna and Melania (what the fuck ever happened to NORMAL names) ... there were princesses and carriages and puppies and birthday cake and tiaras.  And this broad is so proud of herself because she can manage it all while having a CAREER (EYES ROLLING).  


DUMB - Adjective

1.   Lacking intelligence or good judgment; stupid; dull-witted.
2.   Lacking the power of speech (often offensive when applied to humans); a dumb animal

TWO:  Tamara had her second husband Simon's name surgically removed from her ring finger to prove her love for Eddie (just like she put the tattoo on her ring finger in the first place to prove her love for Simon).  Tamara is afraid to bring her kids into her relationship with Eddie the Chipmunk because she's afraid that it will cause them to break up and he'll leave her. Tamara ... HE WILL.  

THREE:  Vicki is crazy and psychotic.  As for her "boyfriend" Brooks, he is a kiss-ass, an opportunist, a weirdo and a phony and Vicki is in deep, DEEP denial.  Who I really feel bad for is Briana, Vicki's daughter.  Her mother is cuckoo for Cocoa-puffs and she knows it, however, Vicki is her mother so what are you gonna do?  (Personally, I'd kill myself). 

FOUR:  Slade Smiley actually went to a jeweler and asked if he could have an "imitation" stone set in an engagement ring for Gretchen and then, after he pays all his back child support and starts making the big bucks again he'll come back and switch it out for a real diamond.  Poor Gretchen ... not really but, you know.

FIVE:  Heather, who is married to a plastic surgeon is the new face on the block.  Her cheek implants are much too large and her brow lift is much too tight.  She has four kids and is swimming in diamonds.  She acts as though she were born into royalty and is the arbiter of all things tasteful and classy.  NOT. 

... Lifestyles of the rich and stupid.  

Thursday, May 10, 2012


Mom and Dad, 1956

 I initially posted this last Mother's Day as a tribute to my mother.  I would like to wish all the mother's out there a beautiful Mother's Day.  

My mother was a compulsive/obsessive list maker whose house was IMMACULATE. People would come into our house and, upon seeing their reflection in the varnished hardwood floors would marvel and always comment ... "My God! Your floors are so shineeeeeee!"
She took great pride in her home. It was spotless and, as my husband once said, if she could have placed a velvet rope from the kitchen to the living room she would have ... because no one was allowed to "live" in the living room.

Being raised in a home that was kept like a museum was not always easy. My bedroom was a little girl's dream ... beautifully decorated and perfectly kept. Everything was in its place, spotlessly clean and picture perfect. I remember how uncomfortable my little girlfriends felt when they came to visit me. If we were in my room sitting on the bed and my mother happened to open the door they would immediately jump up and begin straightening out the bedspread because they knew my mother was really particular about things like that. It always embarrassed me.  

My mom lived according to a schedule and was always trying to beat the clock. She rose at 3:30 a.m., YES, you read correctly ... 3:30 a.m., every morning ... to clean. This fact of rising early every morning you would learn within the first 15 minutes of meeting my mother ... because she'd tell you.

Stranger: "Nice to meet you Debbie's mom."

Mom: "I get up at 3:30 every morning" she would state matter of fact.

Always astonished, people would ask WHY do you get up so early? She would respond ... "If I don't do it who else will?" I mean someones gotta get up at 3:30 every morning, right? I used to tell her all the time that she should have been a farmer. 

All of our appliances looked brand spanking new. That's because she cleaned them religiously. She buffed and scrubbed, washed and shined, the stove and all it's inner workings. The washer and dryer, same thing. Sparkling clean. Her windows were washed four times a year. ALL OF THEM, inside and out. Gleaming. The walls were washed with a scrub brush and Spic 'n Span. Add to this that my mother was a heavy smoker but our house NEVER, EVER smelled of cigarette. That is because the minute you were done smoking your cigarette the ashtray was immediately picked up, emptied, washed, dried, and placed back in its proper place.

She had very specific ways of cleaning. I once used the wrong broom to sweep the kitchen floor and she yelled at me "NOOOOOOO! Not that broom! That's the one I used to sweep outdoors and then I soak it in bleach!!!!!" She scared the shit outta me! JEEZ, how the hell was I supposed to know that I was using the outdoor broom that got soaked in bleach?!  To dust the pleated lampshades she would take a small painter's brush and carefully, methodically sweep each pleat. This same brush was used to dust her little monitos (chochkies or knick-knacks) ... little figurines that you couldn't always clean because they were small and had tiny crevices. 

My mother's kitchen cabinets were a beautiful sight. After I'd been married many years and I'd visit her I would love to open the cupboards and run my hands across them and admire, in amazement, their cleanliness. My cabinets are another topic altogether. You'd have to use a small amount of force to pry a glass loose from my gross, sticky cabinets.
Her refrigerator ... SPOTLESS. Never would you find a mayonnaise jar with mayonnaise all gunked up around the rim. EVER.

She had a quick mind. Very smart, though not formally educated, and she was VERY organized. She could have run a corporation easily with her attention to detail and efficiency. She was really amazing that way.

Growing up, I'm certain she hoped that I'd turn out just like her but I didn't. I didn't want to spend my entire life cleaning. I wasn't as organized as she was and I have always been a terrible procrastinator. This is not a good trait to have if you want to run an efficient household. Once, when I was a teenager I sarcastically asked her WHY I had to make my bed if I was only going to mess it up again when I went to bed. Her response? "Why do you wipe your ass if you're only gonna shit again." That was my mom.  She could be funny and sarcastic and impossible and thoughtful, and I miss her every single day.

I used to call her from work almost every day and when she answered the phone I would always say ... HI MARMEE! Just like the daughters in "Little Women." She would always laugh when I called her that. 

There are so many things I miss about her but what I miss the most is going shopping with her and having lunch after. My sister once remarked that shopping with mom was like shopping with a mouse on crack. She was always in a hurry. For a long while, after she'd passed away and I would see other mothers and daughters shopping I would get a huge lump in my throat because I knew that I would never, EVER, be able to go shopping with my mother again. Death is so heartbreakingly final. I will never, EVER, stop missing her.
I miss you so much mommy. I love you with all my heart and I always will ... till forever and forever ...

Sunday, May 6, 2012


 "Ok ... now I cut off fingers and pull teeth."  -- Nikolai Luzien, Eastern Promises.