Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Golden Globes Best and Worst

Ok, it's my favorite time of year ... AWARD SEASON! So, instead of my usual rantings and ravings, let's take a little walk on the Red Carpet and talk about last night's Golden Globes ... who looked great, who looked terrible ...
Scarlett Johanssen. Truthfully, she looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. Have you seen those commercials for that super duper fantastic condom that will blow your hair straight back? She must have gotten laid right before the ceremony ... Grade: F

Ok. These two look like a pair of waxed figures from MadamTussaud's. Throughout the entire broadcast the cameras kept panning to Brad and Angelina ... we watched Angelina fixing Brad's bow tie - awwwww, then we watch as Angelina leans on Brad's shoulder awwww, and we watch as Angelina puts on some lip gloss ... just like a real human female ....their whole ACT makes me ill. It is strictly for the cameras for cyring out loud ... they totally play to the audience. When these two finally break up it is going to be epic. Anywho, I didn't like Angelina's dress. Not the color,not the way she wore her hair, nothing. Grade: F- (cause she's a man-eater).

Beautiful, sexy Mila Kunis. It seems like almost EVERYONE at the Golden Globes wore this ugly forest green color (which I hate) but Mila looked stunning. Loved the dress, loved the hair, gorgeous. Grade: A+
Tilda Swinton. GREAT Actress. She definitely has a style of her own but I can't help but think of a baby bird hatching out of it's egg everytime I see her. Grade: D

Olivia Wilde. Beautiful girl, beautiful gown, but I thought she should have done something more with her hair instead of letting it hang down like limp spaghetti. An updo with a pair of gorgeous chandelier earrings might have worked better. Grade B- (for lack of proper hairstyle and jewels).

Eva Longoria. Very petite and she definitely knows how to dress for her body type. All in all, I liked this dress (even though she looked as though she was in mourning of her marriage to puppy Tony Parker). Black dress, very simple and elegant and it fit her perfectly. I liked the diamond brooch at the waist. The only flaw ... didn't really dig her hairstyle. Grade: B+

Ameria's Sweetheart Sandra Bullock. This dress was really quite beautiful, the photograph doesn't do it justice, but girlfriend really should have done something with those bangs, dayum did they need a trim! Grade: C, for having a bad hair day.

Natalie Portman, Best Actress Winner. I still can't decide whether I liked this or not. It reminds me of a pantsuit my mom made for me in high school. Pink with little red flowers. It was cute in 1974 ... 2011 ... not so sure. Grade: a solid D. Also, I don't think the necklace added anything. Would have looked better without one.

Ok. Christina Hendricks of Mad Men. This gal always does it WRONG. That thing on her shoulder looked like a conjoined twin. She should have worn her hair up and in the future ... STAY AWAY FROM RED. UGH. Grade F- (p.s. look at Johnny Depp looking her ... even he thinks she looks ridic).

Halle Berry. This woman NEVER, ever does it wrong. Beautiful, gorgeous ALL THE TIME. Grade: A+ and a 10 to the nth degree.

Ok. Julianne Moore. This one surprised me. She usually looks really good but this pink thing with one sleeve and those ugly assed shoes. I don't know what to say ... and you'd think a movie star of her stature could afford to get her dress pressed before putting it on. Grade: F-

E! Hostess Giulana Rancic. She looks like a bone in a black dress. She needs to eat something ... right away.

Julianne Hough. I loved this. She's very young and I thought her hair looked a little too mature, but other than that I loved this look. Grade: A

Annette Benning and Warren Beatty (who is beginning to look a little like Pat Robertson - he's had more work than Annette) ... This isn't the best picture but I liked how she looked. The dress was simple and elegant and she's thin and chic. Tip: She should have left the glasses home. Grade: B

La Lopez. This was a pretty dress but don't think I would have gone with such a severe pony tail. Grade: B-. She always has that kinda lioness look to her eye makeup. I hate Jennifer.

Janury Jones. I don't know. Color was pretty. It was a little edgy and she has great boobs but the bottom looks kinda cheap cause it's fringe. Grade: TBD.

I love the quirky Helena Bonham Carter. She's a fantastic actress and I have always thought she has such a beautiful face, love the hair, love the crazy dress. Truthfully, this is an F but I like her so much I'm gonna give her an A.

Catherine Zeta-Jones ALWAYS looks like an old lady to me. I hated this dress, hated the color, hated the earings, all of it. And the hair. God, why doesn't she cut herself some bangs or layers or something. She looks like Abraham Lincoln's wife.

Miss Christina Aguilera is getting a tad pudgy. Grade: F- ... for looking like a hooker in a sausage.

Ok, I know she's a bigger girl, but I love this little girl. Amber Riley of Glee. SHE IS SO CUTE AND ADORABLE. So I give her an A+ for having personality. She exudes happiness. Love her.
Thhhhhhat's all folks! Until the next big awards show ... stay tuned!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Debbie, please forgive me ... I've been a fool

please ... come back to me ... PLEEEEEZE

A re-run ... just cause I hate her ...

1. Demi Moore: "I don't know if there is any particular secret [to staying youthful], she says "I think that laughter and smiling are one of the best antidotes to aging that you can possibly have."

She's 47 and she looks 27. I'm 53 and have laughed and smiled all of my life and I look ... 53. Someone's a liar and needs to be bitch slapped.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I just finished listening to Sarah Palin's "statement" on the Tucson shootings ...

I rest my case. Kinda different when it's you, huh Sarah.

I'm sorry hon ... does this "offend" you? Well, TOO BAD. Your "cross-hairs map" offended me. You Moron.

AND P.S. ... As for her eight minute speech, she was addressing us as if she were sitting in the oval office with the American flag on display like she was the President of the United States or something. She's nobody. She's a quasi-politician who quit the governorship of Alaska because she saw dollar signs when the heavens parted and God told her to go and promote the right wing agenda. Who is Sarah Palin that she has to make a TELEVISED STATEMENT to US? She's nobody. She has a reality T.V. show where we watch her lock, load and kill defenseless animals and entertain other morons like Kate Gosselin and her brood of brats. Sarah Palin, and those of her ilk are exactly the people she was speaking about in her speech. I don't recall anyone else posting a map of the United States with cross hairs on it. I mean seriously!

I'm intelligent enough to know that Sarah Palin did not do that to incite anyone to go on a shooting spree. But God almighty, when you use visuals like that and talk about "not retreating but re-loading", that kind of language is beyond irresponsible and very, very dangerous. We don't live in the 1800's when the "N" word was common language and folks needed an arsenal to protect themselves from Injuns and wild animals. What Sarah should have done was gone on television, shed some real tears for her irresponsible words and visuals and take some serious responsibility for the negativity of what she posted on her Facebook page. Then, she should have flown to the Congresswoman's bedside and BEGGED her forgiveness. Instead, she used this horrible tragedy as yet another opportunity to promote her twisted viewpoint. And she calls herself a Christian. I don't know Sarah ... what would Jesus say about that cross hair pic. My guess? Nothing good.
The one good thing to come out of this is that she has totally screwed herself out of EVER becoming President, Vice-President or the holder of any important office in this country - THANK GOD.
NOW, why don't you go kill a moose or something.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011