2024 GRAMMY RED CARPET ...

 

Miley Cyrus.  I'm kind of loving this 1970s suburban housewife coiffe.  

As for the rest of this chain-link mess of a gown with an Egyptian vibe .... NO.  

Grade:  D-

Billie and Phineas Eilish.  Again, super talented brother-sister duo.  Phineas looks quite dapper.  His sister, not so much.  

Phineas - Grade:  A

Billie - F-

Coco Jones - YASSSSS!  Beautiful girl, beautiful gown, rockin' body.  Grade:  A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!! 

Jameela Jamil.  Gorgeous girl!  Love the red, but not the neckline.  Black shoes????  Grade:  B- 

Olivia Rodrigo.  PERFECTION!!  Perfect makeup, perfect hair, gorgeous gown!  A+++  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

Victoria Monet.  A very beautiful girl!  Make-up and hair is flawless!  BUT ... these undergarment-looking gowns with the stays have been done to death.  Grade:  B+

Jon Baptiste.  I LOVE THIS MAN!!!!!  Grade:  A

Doja Cat.  Absolutely beautiful girl but those tacky tattoos?  That's one demerit.  Nips blurred out - That's two demerits.  The makeup is good but the gown looks tacky.  Just like her tats.  And her shoes.  Grade:  D-

Summer Walker chanelling Hello Dolly.  All that's missing is the parasol.  She looks like she's wearing coconut shavings.  Without the hat, it might have worked.  Grade:  C

Jelly Roll.  This dude is really talented and has quite a story.  I saw him on 60 Minutes.  He did some serious time all the while writing songs.  HOWEVER, couldn't he afford to groom himself and purchase a nice suit or something?  I mean seriously!  You're at the Grammy's dude.  Grade:  F-

Sexy Dua Lipa.  Very pretty, but doesn't her gown look like it was made with a buhzillion paperclips?  Grade: B-

Kelly Osborne.  ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKIN PURPLE HAIR!!!!!  OMG!  Grade:  F

Fantasia Barrino.  Love her, but not feeling this gown or the hardware on her face????  One good sneeze and she could tear her lip off!  Hair and makeup are perfection, however.  Grade:  C+

Paris Hilton.  Very pretty gown, love the color but not the Morticia hair.  You know these super long extensions are getting quite tiring.  Grade:  B-

David Guetta & Jessica Ledon - CUTEST COUPLE!  

Gayle King.  Love the hair, love the makeup, love it all.  Grade:  B++ with a snap.

Kat Graham.  Amazing!  Amazing that she made this from one long piece of paper!  Grade:  F-

Lauren Daigle.  Amazing what you can do with ruffles, silly string, and a hat.  With braids no less.  Grade:  F-

Chrissy Teigen.  Though I LOVE black and pink, this is way too SHORT.  Grade:   B

HOW CUTE!  NOT.  Not feeling the pink turtleneck or the flower-power necklace.  Grade:  F

Sheila E.  Sheila, Sheila, Sheila.  You can do much better than this funky outfit.  And your hair?!  Girl.  I hate to do it, but I must.  Grade:  F-

Paris Jackson.  This girl is SO BEAUTIFUL!  Simple elegance and NO TATS!  She either had them covered up or removed.  In any event, I like her without all that ink.  Truly upgrades her look and she presents like a lovely young lady.  Grade:  A

Mark Ronson and Grace Gummer.  I like it.  Grade:  A for both.

Jade Starling.  She looks a little hard around the edges don't you think?  To get away with this look one must be very young and very beautiful.  Leather?  Studs?  Is that a belt with two buckles?  Sorry hun.  Grade:  F-

And it wouldn't be a Red Carpet without you-know-who's big face in the camera.  GRADE:  DOUBLE F-

Cee Lo Green looking like an imperial little emporer.

Cardi?  Cardi B?  Is that you?  LOVE the color.  Grade:  A

INGENIOUS!  Take your shade with you!  Ideal for the menopausal woman!  I mean seriously.  Who designed this ridiculous piece of crap?!

La Diva Swifty.  Love the white, love the black gloves. BUT THE HAIR!  It's just hanging there like spaghetti!  Ruins the entire look.  Grade:  C

YOWZA!!!

KILL ME LENNY cause I'm already dying!!

There were a few gorgeous ladies and gentlemen and I hoped I covered all your favorites.  

OK, PEEPS.  I'm tired now.  Gonna watch TV and get ready to paddle to work tomorrow.

SMOOCHES!

HERE IT IS! THE GOLDEN GLOBES 2024!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

THE GOLDEN GLOBES

 

Better late than never!

Ok.  Jo Koy.  I thought he was funny!  He only had a few weeks to prepare and I thought he did a great job yet everyone is dogging him.  So Jo, from me to you ... you rocked my friend!

 

Amanda Seyfried.  This was very simple, but quite beautiful on camera.  Grade:  A

Natasha Lyonne.  LOVE HER!  But my word, those pointy things could have poked an eye out!  Seriously.  Grade:  D (for dangerous).

Hannah Waddington of Ted Lasso.  This gown looks like a modern-day saloon girl or a wedding gown from the 1990's, but in black.  Either way, I'm not feeling it.  Grade:  D minus.

Lenny Kravitz.  GODDAMN!!  Grade:  HOT HOT HOT WINNER WINNER WINNER!!

Margot Robbie.  On camera, this was seriously NEON pink.  Margot went full-on Barbie for the red carpet and I am going to give her a B+ (even though I didn't like the Barbie movie).  

Jennifer Aniston.  BORING.  No bling, no glam, no nothing.  Grade:  D.    

Reese Witherspoon.  BORING.  Reese has worn this same dress several times over the years with slight differences.  The blue one is really nice.  But come on.  Either get a stylist or don't attend.  Grade:  D 

Issa Rae.  Beautiful!  Love the color, love the fit, love the hair, love it all.  Grade:  A

America Ferrara.  Sweet.  That's all.  Grade:  C minus.

Jennifer Fkn Lopez.  UGH.  I hate to give her props but I really love this beautiful pink confection of a dress with the rose petal sleeves, however, she forgot the matching maracas.  Grade:  A (for the gown)  Grade:  F minus for Jennifer.

Emma Stone.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE Emma Stone!  Nails it every time.  Grade:  A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!

Fantasia Barrino.  So, I think I like it.  But I think the blue skirt should have been another color.  Not sure.  However, she looks very beautiful.  Hair and makeup are perfection!  Grade:  B

Natalie Portman.   I always find her severely perfect.  Know what I mean.  Grade:  A

Elizabeth Olson.  GORGEOUS!  Perfection.  LOVE LOVE LOVE!!  Hair and makeup are perfect.  Jewelry is perfect.  Overall look - Perfect!  Grade:  A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER

Julianne Moore.  Not feeling it.  Grade:  B.

Jennifer Lawrence.  Very nice, but nothing special.  Actually, almost all the ladies this year were nothing special.  But I like her hair like that.  Grade:  B

Dua Lipa.  I like it.  

Naomi Watts and hubby Billy Crudup.  Not feeling Naomi's look but I'd sure like to feel her hubby.  So cute!  HUBBA HUBBA!  Naomie:  Grade:  C, Billy Crudup:  Grade:  A

LA DIVA Meryl Streep looking very much like LA DIVA Meryl Streep.  Grade:  B

Rosamund Pike.  GORGEOUS!  Love the dress, love the hat, love the shoes, love it all.  Grade A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!  P.S.  I saw "Saltburn" ... disturbing and weird.  

Allison Williams.  LOVE LOVE LOVE!  Grade:  A

Billie Eilish.  Talented girl, great singer, and songwriter, however, this look is definitely a Glamour Don't.  Can you imagine you're nominated for a Golden Globe for the song you wrote and you decide to show up looking this fucking weird?  Grade:  F minus.

Matt Bomer.  DAYUM.  I mean how GOOD LOOKING can a man be!  Grade:  A

Taylor Swift.  I think curtain bangs would look better than what she has.  The dress is nice, but it isn't a winner in my humble opinion.  Grade:  B

And just a warning, if you go see her concert at the movies it is THREE FKN HOURS LONG.

YOWZA!  We've got some man candy here.  I like it!  Grade:  A.

Ally Wong.  LOVE HER!  However, earrings, a necklace and blinged-out glasses.  NO.   Ally needs to invest in some contacts.

Grade:  B minus.

Jared "Jesus" Leto.  Love his look.  Love the necklace, love the white pants, and open jacket.  Love him.  Grade:  A+

Oprah.  What a little Ozempic can do!  I think she looks really good but I don't care for the dress.  Grade:  C minus.

Florence Pugh.  Beautiful girl, but I hate the ring in her nose.  The hair is weird but the makeup is perfection.  Grade:  B 

Barry Keoghan.  He was nominated for "Saltburn" and gave a flawless performance.  Though there were a few disgusting scenes in the movie it is worth watching at least once.  It was weird, weird, weird.  The outfit is pretty fashion forward but I'm not feeling earring the necklace or the pearl chain.  Grade:  D

Elle Fanning.  Elle looks like she wore her grandmother's prom dress and forgot to press it.  Also, she should stay away from pale colors.  They wash her out.  Grade:  C minus.  

Christina Ricci.  Beautiful gown!  But the black bag looks too heavy for this ethereal look.  Grade:  A.

Interesting.  I'm thinking chrysalis ... transformation .... butterfly?  NOT.  Grade:  F minus. 

Helen Mirren.  This is a disappointment.  Helen usually nails it but what is this lavender-mauve-pink wrinkled mess?  I'll tell you what it is.  It's a lavender-mauve-pink wrinkled mess.  Grade:  F minus.

Tyler James Williams channeling a super cool bad-ass 30's mobster look.  Love it!  Grade:  A

Look whose big face is in the camera.  Here she is in her big red dress.  The woman that would go to the opening of a supermarket.  Grade:  F minus.

Jordana Brewster.  Super cute!  Love this look.  Grade:  Adress.

Selena Gomez looking ADORABLE!!  Not in love with the asymmetrical hem, but she looks really good.  Grade:  A.  

Beautiful Riley Keough.  Lovely, ethereal gown with a little bling on the bodice.  Grade:  A

That's it ladies and germs!  Until the Oscars!  See you soon!

SMOOCHES!