2023 Met Gala ...

 Now THIS is how you do it!  Idris Elba YOWZA!!!! and wife Sabrina.  Sexy, beautiful, and on point.  Grade:  A+

Adorable Jenny Ortega.  Young and hip.  Love it!  Grade:  A+

Pedro Pascal.  I know he's currently a sex symbol but not in this getup.  And P.S. You could have groomed your scraggly facial hair.  Grade:  D for DUMB.

Gigi Hadid.  Love it!  Beautiful and sexy.  Her hair, the pearls the sexy black hose!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!! .  Grade:  A+

Cardi B doing Cardi B in a Barbie World.  Grade:  C - for best Cartoon.      

Marc Jacobs and Paris Hilton in leather.  Marc channeling Alfalfa with a beard.  Is it just me or does she look like she just had sex?  In other words, CHEAP.  

Here she is, Kim Kardashian dripping in faux pearls and diamonds.  Question:  IF you're going to swathe yourself in pearls why didn't you finish the look?  America does not want to see your Spanx.  Grade:  B- for bearing her undergarment.

Anne Hathaway.  Wasn't the theme an homage to Karl Lagerfeld?  If so, why is she wearing gold safety pins?  That was Gucci, wasn't it?  I do love the look, love the hair, love the makeup.  Is that a jacket she's holding?  Even though it's off-theme.  Grade:  A

Aubrey Plaza.  DAMN!!!   Love the black, love the white, love the gloves, love the hair, love the makeup, love everything.  Grade:  A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

Elle Fanning.  Little Black Riding Hood.  Grade:  C

Yung Miami.  I don't even know what to say about this creation.

Tems.  This is amazing!  I swear to god I LOVE black and white!  So chic!  Grade:  A+

Madelyn Cline.  EXQUISITE!  PERFECTION!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A+

Olivia Rodrigo.  Perfection!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A+

Teyana Taylor.  Tres Chic!  Another WINNER!  Grade:  A+

Erykah Badu.  She's missing the entire Red Carpet!  

 

Very chic!  Grade:  A

Stella McCartney.  Love the legs, not the jacket.  Grade:  C-

Jennifer Lopez.  What can I say?  The bitch always brings it.

The hat is all wrong and I don't like seeing so much skin.    Grade:  B

Discuss amongst yourselves

Viola Davis and husband Julian.  Beautiful couple.

OMG!!!!!  BEAUTIFUL!  LOVE IT!  GORGEOUS!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

Very Chanel-ish.  Chic and on point.  Grade:  A

I would have loved this more if her dress was pink or white.  Boyfriend should be wearing a white shirt, NOT BLUE.  Grade:  C-

Cara Delevinge ... I'm kind of loving this.  Grade:  A

Janelle Monae.  No.

Kylie.  All that's missing is the headpiece.

Michelle Yeoh.  VERY ELEGANT!  Grade:  A

Kendall ... not feeling it.  Like the top, not the legs and boots.  She doesn't look finished.  Grade:  C

Mindy Kaling looks quite beautiful.  Grade:  A

WOW!  Very handsome!  Grade:  A  

Brooklyn Beckham and wife Nicole Peltz Beckham.  GORGEOUS COUPLE!  Love his suit, love her gown, very elegant and chic.  Grade:  A+

Gorgeous!!!

Florence Pugh.  Only a woman with a very beautiful face can pull off this buzz cut.  It looks amazing on her.  Not really feeling the gown and that head piece is a bit much.  Grade:  C

Cristina Ricci - LOVE!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!  Funky shoes though.  Grade:  A

Jared Leto.  And to think I used to be madly in love with him.  Ay yi yi.  He looks like Herod Antipas.

WTF????

YOWZA!  I want him.  

Vera Wang.  Vera needs to eat something.

Beautiful and feminine.  Grade:  A+

Beautiful Salma.  What's with the plastic??  Lose the pearls and I'll give you a B-

Naomi.

Margaret Qualley.  

1.  If you're going to show your legs make sure they're pretty. 

2.  If they're not pretty, please get a spray tan.

Emily Blunt.  In my book she does no wrong.  This is perfection!  Grade:  AAA WINNER WINNER WINNER

 

TALK ABOUT GREAT TITS.

The Ice Queen and Bill Nighy looking mighty dapper.

I guess it's okay if you want to look like a lamp.

Awww .... look.  She made it all by herself.

Tres Chic!

Emily Ratlady ... I'm shocked!  No nipples?  No ladyparts?  I almost didn't recognize her.

Dua Lipa.  PERFECTION!  Grade:  A!

Penelope Cruz.  Nailed it!

OMG MY EYES MY EYES!!!

Well folks, there were so many beautiful people and beautiful gowns that I may have to continue this tomorrow.  Let me know your thoughts!

Until then ...

SMOOCHES!

A RANT ...

The eating habits of the rich and famous.  

                  Gwyneth Fkn Paltrow.  5'9" and 116 lbs.

During an interview with The Art of Being Well With Dr. Cole podcast, a make-up-free Paltrow, 50, attached to an IV vitamin drip, earnestly confided that she typically ingested coffee, bone broth, and vegetables in a day that also involves fasting and working out with Tracy Anderson.

“I like to eat dinner early in the evening,” Paltrow started, going on to say she does a “nice” intermittent fast.  (Intermittent fasting is the practice of cycling between eating and abstaining from food for particular blocks of time.)

SO, how does this woman survive?  Bone broth?  Coffee?  I'd be fainting of hunger!  This is sending a very sick message to women everywhere.  She might as well tell the whole world to barf after every meal.  

NEXT ....

Victoria Beckham ... 

                                5'4"and 112 lbs.

David Beckham gave an insight into his wife's favorite meal:

It was widely reported that the 48-year-old has eaten the same meal every day for 25 years, with her husband David Beckham divulging that she: "Only eats grilled fish, steamed vegetables; she will very rarely deviate from that."  TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.  THAT IS  CRAZY.  

NEXT ....

Daphne Guinness... she's definitely chic as fuck, but dayum.

'I'll eat when I'm dead':  How haute couture addict Daphne Guinness stays fashion thin.

                 5'8" and I cannot find her weight anywhere.  

                                                        

According to the publication, the 43-year-old Brit, who is the daughter of brewing heir Jonathan Guinness and the ex-wife of Spyros Niarchos, keeps her stick-thin figure through a diet of Red Bull and Ensure shakes.  She defended her diet by simply stating, “If I eat, I can't work.”  How about if you don't eat, you'll DIE?

Do these women realize that they are anorexic?  Anorexia nervosa is a psychological illness that has serious physical, emotional, and social consequences.  What mental illness is associated with anorexia?  Borderline, obsessive-compulsive, and avoidant personality disorders are some of the most common types of personality disorders diagnosed in people with anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge-eating disorder.

Honestly, I don't know what to say about Gwyneth or these other ladies and their bizarre eating habits (if you can call what they eat eating).  

Needless to say, Gwyneth may be the next celeb to drop dead from lack of protein and vitamins.  She will, however, be the skinniest corpse in the graveyard and THAT, after all, is what matters most.  SMH.