From Venting to Viggo: 2026 GOLDEN GLOBES RED CARPET ...

Monday, January 12, 2026

2026 GOLDEN GLOBES RED CARPET ...

OK. First of all, EVERYBODY was wearing black, or black and white. And it took me hours to figure out how to watch the Red Carpet arrivals and then to find out where the f**k to watch the award show to begin with! And I didn't like the Red Carpet arrivals. I actually almost hurled listening to all the ass kissing! Anyway, Mama's been a little under the weather lately, so this post may be a little late.

So, let's get started.

looking like a beautiful bad ass. Beautiful makeup, Beautiful HAIR! Grade: A+

. OK, bear with me. Ariana looks like a 12-year-old. And she really needs to change the shape of her brows. They're too short and straight across and leave her looking quizzical and confused. She also needs more eyeliner on the bottom and the interior eyelid. Trust me, she'd look a thousand percent better. Now for the gown. HATED IT. Grade: D-

nailed it! Love the gown. She is pulling off a 1950's vibe and it is a real winner. Grade: AAA+++

, the Princess of Hollywood Spawn. Love the gown, hate Kate. Though she's not my favorite, I have to hand it to her, that gown is beautiful. Grade: A.

, the evening's hostess. I don't particularly find this chick funny, but whatever. She looks quite beautiful in this soft pink gown. Grade: A+

. Not loving the hair. It looks greasy and stupid, proving the point that if your hair sucks, it doesn't matter how great the outfit. Grade: C.

. Mmmmm ... not feeling this one. Maybe she'll do better at the . Grade: C-

. Looking perfectly lovely. Grade: B+

channeling in her for . Grade: F-

, channeling with tassels. Grade: D-

Alicia Silverstone. Hair and makeup are great; however, the lower portion of this dress looks a little cheap. Grade: C.

Don't know this fella's name, but I LIKE IT! Grade: A+

Don't know her name, but I think girlfriend put this on backwards. Hun, you're supposed to wait until AFTER you're dressed to get high. Grade: F

Forgive Mama, I don't know who a lot of these newer stars are. But I am really feeling this casual and truly cool look. Grade: A+

This is a wrinkly periwinkle mess of a dress. Grade: D

. I don't know how she managed to do it, but she got her hair to actually match her dress. Grade: D-

I think boyfriend was at the wrong awards ceremony. He needed to be at the with this Hank Williams, Jr. look. Grade: D

looking quite adorable. Grade: A.

. LAIDIES, LADIES, LADIES! How many times do I have to tell you! A lady of a certain age should ALWAYS cover up skinny, scrawny, wrinkly arms! The dress is ok, but unfortunately, I have to give her a Grade: C.

Whoever she is, she is looking every inch the Princess. Grade: A.

Proof that choosing a color is everything. This color does not work whatsoever! In any other color this might have been beautiful. Grade: F.

I don't know who this is, but he seriously needs a better tailor! OMG! Those pants! Too big and too short at the same time! Grade: F-

also channeling Hank Williams, Jr. Grade: C.

. A perfect example of when EVERYTHING is wrong. The blouse is too big, and

the pants are too long. Grade: F-

. Apparently, he's 30, but he doesn't look a day over 17. Not feeling his look. Grade: D-

. This is a mess. Lose the sunglasses, lose the dress and start all over. Grade: Double F-.

. Better half of . I guess it's okay. Grade: B.

. PERFECTION! That's all. Grade: AAA+++

. Gorgeous in this grecian styled frock. Wish she didn't have that curl in her hair, but other than that, this is a winner! Grade: A.

. So, if you were going to a wedding in 1963, THIS would be the dress! However, if you're going to the in 2026, it is definitely a Glamour DON'T.

Pamela Anderson looking quite pretty, however, the sleeves are too long, even if you were going with an oversized long sleeve look. Blouse does not fit at all, and she's wearing too much white. Grade: D.

Jennifer Lawrence. I really don't like this chick, but the dress is quite beautiful. Grade: A.

Jacob Elordi. A beautiful hunk of man who also turned in one of the most poignant performances this year as the Monster in Frankenstein. Grade: A

Elle Fanning. This was beautiful on camera, so sparkly! Grade: A

It's like a Tiffany lamp, but I like it! Grade: A.

Michael B. Jordan. Unfortunately, for this hunk of burnin' love, he's dressed like he's going to a business meeting instead of as a Golden Globe nominee. Jacket does not fit properly, shirt is the wrong color. Overall - Grade: F

Actor who played Bruce Springsteen looking quite dapper. Grade: A.

Park Posey went retro and wore her prom dress from 1982. All that's missing is the parasol. Grade: F-

The Best Director winner of Hamnet. O.M.G. An unfinished, ill-fitting, wrinkly mess in a horrible color and jeez, would a little makeup hurt? And a nice blow out? Would have make a huge difference. Grade: F-