GOLDEN GLOBES 2021 ...

So, there actually was no traditional red carpet this year so I just Googled 2021 Golden Globes Red Carpet and copied and posted the pics.  

Don't you think Covid has made movie stars less relevant?  I feel so blase about them now and I really like it.  YOU GUYS AREN'T THAT IMPORTANT ANYMORE OK.  You're just regular people like us.  We can see your movies on Netflix and don't have to pay $20 plus to go to the movie theatre. No more premieres.  No more red carpets.  Humbling ain't it?

So ... let's get to it.

Sarah Paulson channeling The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel ... and purple cast.  

Grade  C- 

Sarah Hyland posing very oddly in her red frock.  

Grade:  B

Salma Hayek also in red in a typical form fitting - bust enhancing gown with diamond pin.  Grade:  B

Rosamund Pike wearing a red pouf with combat boots.  There are fashion risks and fashion phuck-ups.  This is a fashion phuck-up.  Grade  F-

This gal decided to copy Rosamund Pike in a yellow pouf with a little black cardigan.  It didn't work in red and it doesn't work in yellow.  Grade  F-

Maya Rudolph.  I know this year is virtual but the least you could have done was change out of your muumuu and put on a sparkly gown for 20 minutes.  Grade:  F-

Maria Bakalova in a lovely red ball gown.  Grade: B+

Maria was in Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat 2.  Did anyone see this film?  DISGUSTING.  Especially the scene where Ms. Bakalova enters a beauty pageant and proceeds to do acrobatics while on her period with blood everywhere.  SO.  GROSS.  

The beautiful Margot Robbie.  Mmmm ... doesn't wow me.  Grade:  C-

Tres chic.  Who are you?

Laverne Cox always nails it!  Grade:  A

Laura Dern rarely nails it.  Hate the jacket, hate the choker, hate the shoes.  HATE IT ALL.  Grade  F-

Kyra Sedgwick looking pretty in peach.  Wish I could see all of it.  Hair and makeup are good.  It looks like Ms. Kyra may have had a little work.  

Grade:  B-

Kristin Wiig.  This is a cute frock but it is too young for her.  Sorry folks, but that's how I see it.  P.S.  In future, make sure to really blend your self tanner.  Grade:  C-

EFFIN SEXY!  VA-VA-VOOM!  Grade  B+

I hate Kate Hudson.  Spoiled Princess of Hollywood.  HOWEVER, this is a very pretty gown, her earrings are perfect as is her hair and makeup.  Grade:  A.

Kaley Cuoco.  I'm not feeling this gown.  The hair is hanging like spaghetti, BUT has anyone once seen her in "Flight Attendant"?  OMG It is SO GOOD!  I only saw the pilot because I have no idea how to find HBO MAX???  

Grade:  D-

I LOVE JUSTIN THEROUX.  SUPER SEXY - GRADE:  A+ WITH A SIDE OF HUBBA-HUBBA.

Julia Garner looking very 1920's!  Beautiful lips and I love the dress ... which I could see more.  Grade:  A

I KNOW!  Let's tie different colored pieces of fabric together!  NO.  

Grade:  F-

January Jones.  Nice tits.  That's about it.  Hair - bad, makeup - bad, dress - bad.  Grade: D-

Jamie Lee Curtis.  This is a difficult color to pull off.  Jamie does it well.  But she needs some jewelry.  Grade:  C

I don't know who this is but I actually like this pantsuit.  Tres chic.  Not Golden Globes appropriate, but we ARE virtual.  Hair - bad, makeup - bad.  She would have received a better grade if she'd shuzzed it up.  Grade:  C

Gal Gadot.  I do not like this dress.  Not feeling the sleeves or the necklace.  All in all, it looks like a tent.  Grade:  D 

Uh ... All that's missing is the pointed hat with a dingle ball on the top.  That would have finished off this CLOWN gown.  Grade:  F

Elle Fanning.  Ethereal, luminous, BEAUTIFUL.  Grade: A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!

Eiza Gonzales.  This is one beautiful Latina!  Not sure if the black hose is working.  But I'll give her an A- (because she's Mexican!)  P.S. If you all haven't seen "I Care A Lot" --- SEE IT!  IT IS PHENOMENAL!

Daniel Levy.  LOVE HIM!!!  He is so cute and so funny!  Grade:  A

Cynthia Erivo.  MEET GEORGE JETSON .... JANE HIS WIFE .... 

Grade:  F-

Angela Bassett - LOVE HER!  Looks fab!  Love the long braid, makeup is beautiful, dress - perfection!  Grade:  A

Andra Day - WOW!  Beautiful face!  Love the hair, love the jewels, love the gown!  Grade:  A

Amy Pohler - GET. A. STYLIST.  

Amanda Seyfrid.  GORGEOUS!  Love the gown, love the color, LOVE THE HAIR.  She is perfection!  Grade:  A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

Gillian Anderson.  I love this.  The color of the gown goes really beautifully with her skin tone and her hair color.  Grade: A

Nicole Kidman.  Beautiful!  Hair and make up beautiful.  Wish I could have found a close up.  Grade:  A

Regina King.  Hair and makeup are beautiful.  Gown is interesting.  Grade:  B

Anya Taylor Joy.  Hair and make-up is beautiful.  I HATE HATE HATE this shade of green however, it is quite elegant and effective.  Grade:  A

Viola Davis wearing a Peter Max poster.  Those of you born 20 years after the 1960's will not get this reference.  Grade:  B

Renee Zelwegger.  I LOVE RENE.  Always goes with a very simple yet elegant gown.  Grade:  B

Isla Fisher.  Uh ... nice gown but Pepto Bismol pink rarely works.  This would have looked so much better in a champagne or even black.  Grade:  D

Bryce Dallas Howard.  Perfect example of sequins gone bad.  Grade:  F-

LA DIVINA - Catherine Zeta Jones.  CUT YOUR HAIR!!!!  Get some layers or something.  Lighten it up!  You look like Morticia.  Grade:  F-

And for some reason I could not post any pictures of Tiffany Haddish.  I've been trying and trying to no avail. SO, Tiffany Haddish, looks absolutely beautiful with her new blonde buzz cut and gown.  I give her an A. 

Well peeps.  That's it for this year.  Hopefully next year we will be back to normal.  No more masks!  You can actually go out to a bar and have a drink with other people.  BUT, I still want to continue working from home. 

See you in a few months!  Oscar Time!

SMOOCHES!

YOU KNOW WHAT I NOTICE ...

now that I'm old?  T-shirts.  When you get to be in your 60's, for some reason designers start putting flowers and sayings on t-shirts.  It's like they want to dress us like toddlers and I don't get it!  Every time I see a nice white t-shirt and I pull it off the rack it has a freaking flower or a flag on it or some stupid saying.  What makes these designers think we want to dress like obese toddlers?  SOLIDS!  PLEASE!  DAMN IT!

I hate when my husband makes dinner.  I've whined about this before.  Yesterday he decided to make mahi-mahi in a garlic sauce with asparagus spears and a baked potato.  The problem?  He uses every freaking utensil in my silverware drawer and every pot, pan, cookie sheet, and whatever else he can find!  He leaves a freaking mess in the sink and then, because he knows I've had a stressful day he DOES THE DISHES.  AWWWW ... you're probably thinking -- how sweet.  NO.  

About an hour later I wander into the kitchen and see a PILE of "clean" dishes in the dish rack -- only, THEY'RE NOT CLEAN! I had to re-wash several of the bowls and almost all of the silverware.  Why does it take seven forks, six spoons and a butter knife to make mahi-mahi?

AND let's face it.  We women KNOW how to wash dishes.  "Washing dishes" does not mean just washing dishes.  It also means, cleaning the stove, cleaning the counters, scrubbing the sink, sweeping the kitchen and THEN you're done.  Men don't do it like that.  With a man there will usually be dishes that have not been washed properly, there is usually a very dirty stove with crumbs and drippings, and almost always a wet and dripping Handi-wipe in the sink.  Which means that I am going to have to pick up that soaking dirty rag and wring it out so that I don't get mosquitos and other disgusting gnats and stuff buzzing around in my kitchen. 

So I told him "DAN!  DO NOT DO DISHES ... EVERRRRRRRR!

There are, as we speak, four glasses and some coffee cups that I have to wash right now.  But at least I know they will be CLEAN and DISINFECTED by HOT WATER AND SOAP.  

So yesterday was a very stressful day for me.  I had to go into the office which means I get to drive 30 miles to the office and 30 miles back home.  I work REALLY FAR.  Luckily there was no traffic because the entire world is working remotely.  I had to pick up a new computer which is really awesome, but I had to download a lot of applications and get it set up.  Then I had to transport everything back home and put everything together and finish setting it up which meant assembling the computer.  OMG.  Put the thingy in the back by the battery, then snap the screen into the holder thing -- then plug in the monitor, then put the "tiny" computer pack into the space behind the screen, I'm getting sweaty just remembering it.  THEN the keyboard wouldn't work because the batteries that came in the box were bad.  Thank God I had batteries.  FINALLY, I had everything assembled and after spending several hours on the phone with our tech person, everything was finally up and running.  It is now approximately 3:30 pm.  When I finally logged on I had seventeen thousand emails.  SO I HAD TO WORK LATE INTO THE NIGHT.  

Do you know that when I go to the market and decide to check myself out I get all sweaty and nervous?  There is never room for all the groceries I purchased and that stupid computer keeps repeating "please place your products in the bagging area" when the freaking bagging area can only hold like maybe five items!  KILL ME. 

So yeah ... I'm telling you all of this because I think I might be one of those people who are highly sensitive.  When Dan got home he started asking me a billion questions about the computer, the keyboard, the internet, on and on and on and I'm trying to work, then my phone does not stop ringing and I had to take one call because I knew it was important and I ended up being on the phone for an HOUR.  As I'm talking on the phone, the TV is on, and Dan is on the phone as well, and I don't know if I've ever told you guys but Danny's voice is like a foghorn.  LOUD.  At that point I'm ready to scream and put a bullet in my head.  I FINALLY go upstairs, close the door and sit on my bed and finish my conversation.  

Highly sensitive people cannot deal with a lot of stimulus.  I think that is me.  Actually, IT IS ME.  OBVIOUSLY.  Too much noise, too many people, make me super anxious.  Especially if they're all in MY HOUSE at the same time yacking and talking.

So I took a test to determine if, In fact, I am a "highly sensitive" person.  I scored a 20 out of 25.  So yeah ... I am definitely a highly sensitive person.  As if I need yet another personal defect in my life to deal with.

So thanks for listening everyone.  I just had to get all this shit off my chest before I grew a tumor.  OH, and Ted Cruz is a DICK!

BOOM ...

So, I'm sure you all recognize this lady.  She is Cindy Joseph and she is a model who invented BOOM.  A color stick that, according to her, is the perfect shade for all skin types.  She has all these ads where older gals testify to how fantastic this product is and how it's just soooooo purrrfect!  

I don't know why I let this sucker me in because I know for a FACT that there is no shade of anything, not lipstick, not blush, not foundation, that is PERFECT on every skin type.  But I still went ahead and ordered this stupid product.  

I gotta say that when it finally arrived I was shocked at how SMALL it is.  But whatever.  I immediately went upstairs to do my cheeks, eyes, lips, just like it said.  It was okay on the eyes, but the cheeks, not so much.  And the lips?  They looked like liver.  So, unless you look like Cindy Joseph and you have her coloring, do not buy this product.  

I once purchased a lipstick by Clinique because some movie star at the time said it looked good on EVERYONE and I went out and bought it and ... it didn't.  

With Covid I have not put makeup on in a year.  I have had to apply once or twice for an event, but then you have to put on your mask so what's the point?!  Anyway, I've discovered that I can no longer apply makeup, nor do I look good with makeup.  It honestly seems that the less I wear, the better I look (and not in a good way).  I'm not like Ms. Cindy who looks great with very little makeup.  I just look like an old lady.  I can no longer do up the eyes because I just look like a homeless person.  The best I can do is paint a decent pair of eyebrows and paint the lips, and put on a light foundation of course.  That's it.  Maybe a tight line of black pencil on the upper waterline.  No eye shadow, no mascara, no eyeliner. 

 

It is rather sad because I used to LOVE PUTTING ON MY MAKEUP!  These days, I don't want to take the time.  It's exhausting.  And then, when I get the shit on my face, I immediately start sweating like a race horse and all that crap just melts off and then I need a shower and then I just look like sh*t.