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Kill Me ...

So a while back I read an article written by a woman (Andrea Miller) who believes that women should always acquiesce to their husbands and be HAPPY to be subordinate to them because, after all …. 

It Is Your Job To Make Your Man Happy
(Comments in red are mine.)
For those of you who don't know me, this will not be pretty.

By Andrea Miller (photo below)
Why do so many of us buy into the myth that marriage is supposed to make us happy?
          I’m glad to see how marriage has evolved.  It used to be much more transactional — happening principally to foster economic benefits or social standings or to produce children — but nowadays people typically choose to commit themselves legally to each other for far more noble goals. More and more people marry with the intention of experiencing lasting love and companionship. 
          Unfortunately, too many women I know get married and somehow, perhaps unconsciously, expect their husbands to make them happy. When things get hard — and they always do — rather than looking inward at where they may be at fault, too many women point the finger toward their partners. They blame him (or her) for the problems in their relationship. “If he would just pay more attention to me our marriage would be great!” 
Lady ... are you on crack?  Of course women would be happier if their husbands paid more attention to them.  Especially if he got her a maid and bought her diamonds.

           Frustrated and hurt, these women compound the problems in their relationships by judging and criticizing their partner. Then the punishment escalates and they withdraw and withhold sex, affection, and attention.
“He can make his own damn dinner!”    
Not my husband.  He would die of hunger before opening a can of soup. 

“I’m not having sex with him again until he apologizes!”
 This wouldn’t bother my husband in the least.  He rides his bike more than he rides me.

“His clothes can mold in the washing machine for all I care!”  
Please.  Danny just goes commando. 

“I don’t give a shit what he does. I’m right and he’s wrong!”  

These women let their hurt and anger run roughshod in their relationships. Small resentments turn into poisonous darts. Fights over the dishes become biblical.  
EXACTLY.  That is why HE should ALWAYS do the dishes.  It’s really very simple.

She says:  Our relationship has become light years better, and I feel much happier and more empowered.  
YEAH YEAH YEAH ... sure you do. 

          Now, it must be said:  If you really make it your job to make your partner happy and he (or she) exploits your efforts or never truly reciprocates — never meeting your love with love — you may be in a deal breaker scenario. Despite your best efforts, you may be with someone who is unable or unwilling to love you back and you will probably need to terminate the relationship.
Hon, there is a difference between BAD marriages and NORMAL marriages.  What you are describing here are NORMAL marriages.  You’re the one who thinks they’re bad marriages.  You need a reality check.

          I have written a book (of course you have) that covers the painful drama of my marriage, and what we did to beautifully transform it. The book is called Radical Acceptance: The Secret to Happy, Lasting Love. It goes on sale May 2nd. You can click to pre-order your copy here. (For $27.99)

          If you’re willing to do the work and put in the love; if you’re willing to open your heart and mind to the idea that love starts with you, and it’s your job to make someone else happy, Radical Acceptance can also transform your relationship!
     Lady, what you’re basically saying is that to be happy in your marriage you must be happy being a slave to your man and NEVER EVER COMPLAIN because that will make your husband unhappy.  You know what I say?  FUCK THAT.  You my friend, don't know what you're talking about.  Wives are not maids whose job it is to also provide sexual benefits.  I was not placed on this earth to be a mother to a grown man.  MAYBE if I didn’t work full-time I’d buy this load of crap.  My day starts at 7 am and when I get home at 7 pm my day isn't over.  That's when my second shift begins ... doing laundry/folding clothes/washing dishes/cleaning the kitchen, etc., etc., etc., until I climb into bed and TRY to sleep next to my unconscious husband who saws logs like a freight train.
        Don’t get me wrong, I love him to death.  He is funny as hell and good with money.  But if he put half the energy he puts into his bicycling/racquetball/water skiing, etc., et al., we’d have an amazing marriage.  But he doesn't.  And that's OK.  You know why?  Because it's REALITY.   
      There is a very popular statistic that states that married men and single women are happier than married women and single men.  WHY?  Because the man gets a mommie he can have sex with, and the woman gets a 14 year-old boy (in a man’s body) to take care of FOREVER.  
     Your idea of “radical acceptance” is B.S.  Why do I have to accept that a happy marriage is entirely up to me?  I also work full-time, bring home the bacon (a substantial amount of bacon I might add) and then I get the extra benefit of cooking and cleaning and basically DOING EVERYTHING ELSE around the house?  NO.  Despite the fact that you "wrote a book," you don't know what you're talking about.  This is what most marriages are like.  I’m not going to divorce my husband.  I love him to death and despite my being The Queen Bitch around here, I also make him laugh a hundred times a day.  
     The way I make it work is like this …. I SPEND MONEY AND BUY MYSELF STUFF in payment for all the shit I do that goes unnoticed and unappreciated. And this works just fine for us.  I would suggest you do a little more research and interview more married ladies.  
         And, if you should desire to discuss this further, please feel free to contact me.  I have a sneaking suspicion that you may not be as happy as you want all of us to believe.  But that's okay.  I can straighten you out in no time.  And you too, can have a REALLY successful marriage ... just like mine.  
          Thank you.


  1. stupid bitch (not you, this andrea thing). if I had to do it all over again, I would remain single.

  2. I imagine there may be women who like that advice, and will follow that advice, but I doubt they will ever really be happy.


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