UNICORN CUPCAKES ...

So, last night Dan and I went to one of our favorite eateries .... "Off the Hook Tacos" and believe me, the food there is definitely OFF THE HOOK!  BUT, while we were enjoying our appetizers and waiting for our main course there was a lady behind me talking and face timing her kid who was probably 5 years old hence the high pitched baby talk voice LOUD enough to disturb the entire freaking restaurant.  

And I wasn't just being my usual typical impatient bitchness.  I know EVERYTHING bugs the shit outta me ... if someone is breathing too loud I get pissed off.  But this broad was disturbing Danny and NOTHING disturbs Danny.  So I KNEW that I wasn't just being an impatient bitch.  This is what we had to endure for THIRTY-FIVE FUCKING MINUTES ...


HI mama!  
What are you doing?!
Happy Birthday!
You know what?  I'm going to go to your school tomorrow and bringing cupcakes!
Yes cupcakes!
Cupcakes yes!
Yes Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Yes!
And tonight you and I will make unicorn cupcakes!  
Ok?!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
With sprinkles!
Unicorn Cupcakes with sprinkles on them!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
With sprinkles!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
With sprinkles on the Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Yes!  Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
We'll make them tonight.  Unicorn Cupcakes!
And then we'll take them to school!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
With Sprinkles
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!   

It took every ounce of strength not to scream at the top of my lungs and tell her TO PUT A FUCKING SOCK IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I thought she'd shut up when they brought her food thought BUT NO.  She kept right on going ...

Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!
Unicorn Cupcakes!

I told Danny that if she said Unicorn Cupcakes! one more time I was going to shove all my pita bread in her fuckin' mouth.     

I swear to God ... people are so lucky I'm sane.

  
HERE!!!! ....

HERE ARE YOU EFFIN' UNICORN CUPCAKES!