Holy Moly Guacamole Batman what the hell happened on RHOBH last night?! Erika (“Jayne”) Girardi lost her shit! I mean, she actually SHED TEARS. Now I gotta say that she is one of my favorite housewives. She’s a straight forward-no bull-shit kinda gal and I like that, but apparently the “panty-gate” situation bothered her much more than she originally let on.
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| Erika Jayne |
If
you recall, a while back at a housewives get-together with the husbands, Erika showed up sans underwear. As fate would have it, Dorit’s husband
P.K. (what the hell kinda name is that?) was seated in direct
view of said bare crotch and stared at it all night long (PERV). If that
were my husband his pee-pee would have been severed, filleted and
roasting on the patio BBQ. But I digress.
So
this became THEE topic of conversation ALL SEASON. Well, in order to
bring a peace offering of sorts and little levity to the situation, a few weeks later Dorit
purchased a pair of sexy, lacy panties for Erika and told her that
‘since we’ve all seen your puss … blah blah blah’. Erika was perturbed
by this and told Dorit that she shouldn’t have gone there, but she was
cool. Whatever.
OK. Let us surmise:
(1) Erika, a lady should ALWAYS wear underwear. Just sayin.
(2) You
should have told Dorit how much it bothered you that (a) her husband
was staring at your cooch all night; and (b) it put you in an awkward
position with your husband. (If Danny knew I’d done something like that he’d divorce my ass in a New York minute) …
This has been a running theme throughout the entire season. Panties, no panties and Erika Jane’s va-jay-jay.
Fast forward to dinner in Hong Kong when everyone fucking lost their minds and began attacking Dorit for making Erika feel bad.
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| Dorit |
We
have two camps. One consisting of Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle, who are
being fair to both sides, but in truth Vanderpump seems to be judging
Erika a little more harshly than Kyle. Perhaps Erika is FAR TOO
BEAUTIFUL and it pisses off the Diva Vanderpump. I don’t know.
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| Vanderpump and Kyle |
Then
there is Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna. Both these ladies are tight
with Erika. However, Lisa Rinna seems bent on destroying Dorit because
Dorit told everyone that Rinna puts Xanax in her smoothies. Eileen is
truly the voice of reason, but when Erika bites Eileen’s head off Eileen
starts to cry because up until this very second they’ve been pretty
tight. I was really taken back by Erika’s attitude toward Eileen.
Apparently, Eileen made a comment about how Dorit didn’t kill her child
(to compare the panty gate situation against) and Erika FREAKED THE FUCK
OUT because her son is a cop and she worries about him day and night
when he’s at work and might not come home and blah blah blah, and you
should never joke about someone’s kid getting killed and on and on and
on. BUT for someone who NEVER shares much of herself and really does
come off as somewhat cold, it now seems kinda strange that she’s going
all ape shit towards someone who has thus far been a very good friend to
her.
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| Eileen |
Though
I really like Lisa Rinna she does put her foot in her mouth and has
made some really incendiary accusations like asking Dorit if she trusts her husband. Personally
I think she has a point. I mean after all, he WAS staring at Erika’s
cookie all night. And I think if P.K. were a gentleman he would have
avoided looking in that direction. By her comment Rinna is inferring
that maybe Dorit doesn’t trust that her husband is faithful. Dorit is
of course incensed by this and states that she trusts P.K. IMPLICITLY.
So there you have it. This is a pretty good recap of all that
transpired. It was basically a fuck fest of hormones and estrogen.
The
season is almost ending and we have the Reunion episodes to look
forward to where the ladies will continue to kvetch, connive, scream and demand RESPECT as they scratch their way
to Hell.
