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Just a few quickies ...

Chrissy ... I do not find this chick is pretty at all.  She's all cheeks.  The dress looks like a very elaborate corset.  Me no likee.  Grade:  F

Demi wearing a very similar dress as Chrissy's except in white.  I like this one better and Demi is looking dewy and beautiful.  Grade:  A

Carrie Underwood in another dress just like the previous two (????) but in red.  Don't these gals have a heads up on who is going to wear what?  Grade:  B

And now we have the same dress minus the cut out in the boob area on Adele in forest green.  Yuck.  My least favorite color.  This looks very utilitarian ... almost like a military uniform.  Adele, however looks lovely ... Grade:  A

Katharine McPhee looking very classy.  Grade:  A


 Mother Nature showed up ...

Cee Lo Green in gold looking like a tiny monster.  Grade:  F -- double flip and a cartwheel snap.  BAD.

A very elegant classy look on a pretty girl ... Grade:  A

Ursula left the sea for a while to attend the Grammy Awards ... Grade:  C

It wouldn't be a party unless the Human Toothpick showed up.  She looks like a little dolly in a white frilly dress. Grade:  D 

Heidi Klum (who would show up for the opening of an envelope) wearing the silver mesh En Vogue video dress.  Grade: F
 p.s.  We can see your black panties. 

Laverne Cox looking Grammy appropriate.  Sexy leather with see through sides and GREAT makeup. Grade: A
Paris Jackson.  BEAUTIFUL GIRL.  Wrong dress.  And the tats look terrible.  They make her look dirty ...and not in a good way).  Grade:  D

Alice in Wonderland on acid. Grade:  F-  

Taraji in lavender.  The fabric is totally Madam Zusaska.  You got some eye balls and thunder and half moons and stars and even a spaceship.  Do you have a stylist girl? Grade:  FFF

And last but not lease, this lady is definitely channeling Patti LaBelle and the Bluebells.  Grade:  F

Katy Perry in mesh and fur.  I like her blonde hair but this dress needs to be one or the other ... furry or meshy.  Grade:  F -
 Lady Ga Ga NOT looking like a lady.  This is a big, fat NO.  Grade:  T for tacky.


 J-Lo looking like my kitty kat in lavender with a poof on the neck.  NO.
Grade:  F

Honorable Mention for most original gown. She basically dipped her skirt in super glue and jumped into a playpen full of plastic colored balls.  Grade:  S for STUPID.

My balls itch ...

Rhianna... MAKE UP your mind. Black gown, or orange something.  This is HORRIBLE. Grade:  F-


  1. the ONLY one that looks like a lady is adele; the rest look like cheap whores.

  2. Chrissy Teigen ... too bad the spider didn’t spin the web over her face.
    Demi Lovato ... it looks like a doily my grandmother kept on the arms of the sofa to keep it from getting dirty. Either it’s ugly or I’m old.
    Carrie Underwood ... the cutout, the sleeves, the slit. PICK ONE!!!!!
    Adele ... for me she can do nothing wrong.
    Katharine McPhee ... wake me when she wears something interesting.
    I don’t know who Mother Nature is, but someone hemmed that dress to high.
    Cee Lo ... looking like a Tony Award. This is the Grammys, fool.
    Charli XCX ... the pretty girl ... it looks a little Old West saloon girl to me, but I don’t hate it.
    Ursula—I don’t know her ... looks like she’s wearing the carpets from a cheap motel.
    Rancic ... why is she on a fashion show when she always dresses so tragically.
    Heidi Klum .. I liked it because it had both sleeves and wasn’t yellow feathers.
    Laverne Cox ruled. That is all. I know it was kind of a throwback, a little like safety pin dresses, but I love it and I love her.
    Paris Jackson ... why is she there and why all the tattoos and why a dress that looks like the handmade rugs I put in my 1969 VW Bug. Seriously ... I think that’s my rug.
    The Librarian with the Dragons? No.
    Taraji. Too short. Too wrinkled. Too many appliqués.
    Patti Light Belle. Just stop.
    Katy Perry ... ill-fitting and bathmat-ish.
    Gaga ... No.
    JLo ... haven’t we seen this look like a gazillion times? And that cheap bow? God.
    Now that’s a “Ball” Gown.
    Chance the Rapper. Why the pants gotta be so short? Maybe that’s what’s bunching up at his balls.
    Rihanna ... I kinda like the Halloween Vibe, but I hate the underboob tattoo.

    1. This one right here made me laugh for five minutes ...
      Cee Lo ... looking like a Tony Award. This is the Grammys, fool.

  3. I enjoy reading your takes on red carpet fashion. I like to compare your opinions with the Fashion Police. Most times you and the FP are polar opposites! Fun!
    That Mother Nature thing on Vanessa Williams looks just like the dress I wore to Grad Night my senior year in high school. It was okay then, being 1974 and all. Not so much now.
    After thought, I prefer Katy Perry with dark hair. It makes those very blue eyes pop!


  4. I would like to take this moment to apologize to Vanessa Williams. Turns out Mother Nature is somebody named Aundra Day, or something like that. She looks like a younger clone. I guess I'm too busy shooing kids off of my lack of lawn to watch awards shows. I have found out though, that my tastes in fashion seem to run along the same as yours and Bob's more so than FP. Good company.

  5. LMAO!!! Did you notice I didn't name Mother Nature? That is because I didn't know who the hell she was either! And Bob's reviews are ALWAYS FREAKING HILARIOUS! I rarely comment on the Grammy's because I don't know who anybody is.



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Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

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