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HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK ...

 

OK.  It's been a long LONG time since I blogged about these bitches, but last week's episode was especially juicy.  Allow me to update you all on the latest.  LuAnn, the Countess of Taste and Living Large became engaged to the love of her life after dating three weeks.  What can you say ... when you know, YOU KNOW.  To celebrate her engagement and eventual marriage the ladies all went down to Miami for a Bachelorette party and ... well unfortunately, all hell broke loose.  You see it seems there are a couple of other housewives who ALSO KNOW LuAnn's man.  That is to say ... in the sack.  NOW, I for one was not the least bit surprised about Sonja Morgan being one of the aforementioned lovahs because it is no secret that Sonja is a little hot to trot, but Ramona?!  I think she was supposedly still married to Mario when they "dated".  OK I've been married for twenty years and it may just be me, but I thought once you married the dating thing stopped?  Anywhoo, LuAnn is on Cloud Nine and floating right down the river of denial and is not concerned in the least that she hardly knows this man.  She is blissfully in love with the idea of being in love and also with her gazillion carat engagement ring.  

Well, because Bethenny has friends who get out and about, one of these "friends" saw the Countess's fiancee making out with a person of the female persuasion at the bar of the St. Regis hotel where EVERYONE KNOWS THE COUNTESS!  Apparently, Tom has not been very faithful to the Countess.  Said "friend" snapped a pic and sent it to Bethenny. 

YUP.  A PICTURE OF THE MAN ENGAGING IN THE DIRTY DEED.  Bethenny withholds this information until the last day of LuAnn's bridal party trip to Miami and drops the bomb on LuAnn the day they are to leave.  LuAnn, understandably loses her shit, gets on the phone with her intended, and accuses him of humiliating her to all of New York. 

FAST FORWARD to now. 



LuAnn has now explained how devastated Tom was to have hurt LuAnn so because he REALLY REALLY loves her and her cash and, what can she say?  He fucked up.  We all make mistakes right?  So La Marriage is still on and Tom, the aggrieved fiancée, telephoned Dorinda, the housewife who introduced them, to inform her of "THE STORY" that will be told about his alleged infidelity of which he cannot remember because he was drunk.  Dorinda was SHOCKED and said that she would not lie for them.  So long story short, I don't think LuAnn is inviting ANY housewives to her nuptials which are still on because she is desperate and needs to prove everyone wrong even though this marriage will last about as long as the three week engagement.  Whatevah.

You know there's nothing sadder than an old broad who is still that desperate to be with a man.  Honestly, you can look at it one of two ways.  Either she is eternally hopeful and optimistic, or she is desperately needy to the point of seeing what everyone else can see and refuses to do so.  So with that said, LuAnn I wish you lots of luck ... you're gonna need it. 

And Countess ... p.s.  Please change your tired hairstyle.  Thank you.

Comments

  1. They say LuAnn is in love with love, but I think it's the attention she wants to bed.

    ReplyDelete

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…