WE ARE IN SUCH BIG TROUBLE ...

 

Dear Little Boy:

Get ready.  The dick of life hasn't even penetrated you yet and you're already crying.

If by hobbies you mean playing video games for hours and hours on end, NO.  You no longer have time to enjoy your hobby because it is time to be an ADULT.  To quote a very talented writer I know, 30 is now the new 10.  Never has this been truer.

Are you still living at home?  Where mom cooks for you, does your laundry, and pays your car insurance?  If so, it's time for both of you to be bitch slapped.  Mom,  because she raised a crybaby, and you, because you're a sissy la-la.  

First of all, you're too fucking young to want to die because you work 9 to 5.  When I was your age I worked 9 to 5, came home, did chores, and I had plenty of time for hobbies.  But then hobbies back when I was your age did not consist of sitting in front of a computer in my pajamas playing video games past midnight. 

We did things.  Like reading books, or going to movies, or hitting the club.  Basically going outside on a regular basis, unlike you, you pasty-faced loser.

My advice to you is to either get a spine and BE A MAN, or, pitch a tent in the nearest riverbed or under a freeway bridge and call it a day.  And refrain from getting onto tik-tok to bitch about your life.   

Signed,

Still working 9 to 5 at 65 ... DEAL WITH IT.