CANNES RED CARPET ...

OK ... this post is SOOOOOOOO LATE, but since I did not cover the Met Gala I thought I'd make it up to y'all by covering the Cannes Film Festival.  Keep in mind that this film festival goes on for a week so many of these celebrities are wearing a different gown for each screening ... so here goes!

Adriana Lima ...

 

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD ... NO!  Grade:  FFF-MINUS MINUS MINUS!  What the hell were you thinking? 

... and yet again?  Yeah.  WE get it.  You're with child.  SMH.

  

Jennifer Connelley ...

She looks very chic.  No bling, hair pulled back, letting the dress say it all.  Grade:  B

Anne Hathaway ...

OK.  I can dig it.  Pretty gown, cool necklace.  Grade:  B

Eva Longoria ...

Beautiful gown, lose the choker and loosen up the hair.  Grade:  C (for bad hair choice) and wearing a choker.  It's not 1972.  

Elle Fanning ...

Very sweet, very 1950's prom queen.  Grade:  B

Jasmine Tooks ...

HOT HOT HOT!!!  Slammin'  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A+

Alessandra Ambrosio ...

GUUUUUURL ... NO.  I don't even know what to say.  Those pasty things remind me of boulders and that skirt!  You're so beautiful but your look is not.  Grade:  F-

Julia Roberts aka The Princess of Hollywood ... 

You get an F because I hate you.

Kat Graham ...

Very beautiful but where are her arms?  Grade:  A- 

Julianne Moore ...

I love Julianne Moore!  Very beautiful, but the dropped waist adds weight to her middle don't you think?  Grade:  A

Bella Hadid ...

Exquisite!  Very beautiful and ethereal.  LOVE LOVE LOVE, WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!!!!  Grade:  A+

Eva Longoria ...

MUCH BETTER EVA!  PERFECTION!  My Latina sister nailed it!  Grade:  A+

Elle Fanning ...   

Again with the retro look.  Elle has a very 1930-1940's movie star look to her.  This dress completes that look.  Grade:  B-

Alessandra Ambrosio ...

Again, MUCH BETTER!  Very ethereal and elegant.  LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!  Grade:  A

Amber Heard ...    

WAIT!  ISN'T SHE IN TRIAL?????

Isabel Goulart ...

WoW!!!  PERFECTION!!!  Grade:  A+

Tilda Swinton ...

Baby Bird Tilda Swinton always takes a fashion risk.  I don't like this dress on her. It kinda looks like she bought it at Nordstrom Rack.  Grade:  D-

Sexy Rita Ora ...

Very sexy, not sure about the bedroom slipper shoes ... Grade:  A-

Idris Elba ...

YOWZA!!!  ... and then I die.  That's all.

Frida Aasen ...

Not feeling this colored foil fabric.  Grade:  F (for foil)

Sabina Jakubowicz ...

I LIKE IT!  Grade:  A   Very sexy and cutting edge.  Love it.

Blanca Blanco (you do know her name in English is White White) and she is wearing rosa ...

Mhmmmmm ... I don't like it.  Grade:  F-

Yseult ...

Grade:  A (cuz she scares me)  Check out that bag.

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan ...

This looks like something that should be gliding down Colorado Blvd in Pasadena on New Years day.  Grade:  F MINUS