OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed.   

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!

Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A

Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++ 

Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C

Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:  C-

 

I have no idea who this lady is but I LOVED her gown!!!  GORGEOUS!!  GLAMOROUS!! WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++

YOU AGAIN?  You look like a feather duster.  Grade:  F-

Maria Menunous.  She is so pretty.  Love this gown, love her hair, makeup .... it's a win win.  Grade:  A

Pageant Girl Nancy O'Dell - Grade:  Nancy gets an F for being TOO TOO perfect.
 

Olivia Munn.  Beautiful.  I love this color.  The dress is perfection in its simplicity.  Truly Elegant.  Grade:  A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

 

Olivia Wilde looks like she forgot to put her blouse on under her pinafore.  Don't like it.  Pleats again???  She's so beautiful I don't understand why she chose this gown.  The choker does absolutely does nothing for this look and her hair makes her look like a hausfrau.  Grade:  D-

The only living cadaver, Giuliana Rancic.  As my mouse hovered over her picture I SWEAR an ad came up about binge and purging.  So she's super glam and then she has a fitbit on her wrist?????  And FYI ... If ever she needed an x-ray all an x-ray tech would have to do would be to look at her because EVERY ONE OF HER BONES IS VISIBLE.  I don't mean to hate on her really, but DAYUM she looks like if you accidentally bumped into her she'd break.  Grade:  T ... for TOO FUCKIN' SKINNY

Rooney Mara.  She's becoming known for this very severe, yet feminine, clean look but honestly, I'm growing bored with it.  Must she always wear her hair pulled back so tight?  Yet ... she does look beautiful (except for that little topknot on her head which is giving me a Migraine) Grade:  A
 

Saorise Ronan.  First of all I LOVED the movie Brooklyn. It was the most beautiful love story I've seen in a long time.  I think she is perfection!  Gorgeous color (and I'm usually not a fan of green), her hair, jewlery, make up - Grade A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
 

Sofia Vergara (pick a year or a dress) Grade:  The Same.  Very pretty. 

Cate Blanchett always nails it.  Beautiful aqua gown with feathery embellishments.  Etheral and beautiful.  Grade:  A+  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

Representing Mr. Bowie???

Julianne Moore always brings it. Gorgeous!!  Grade A!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
 

Margo Robbie. This girl is BEAUTIFUL.  I like what she's wearing .... love the bag with the long tassle.  Grade:  B+

Tina Fey looking quite pretty.  Grade:  B
 

Rachel McAdams.  One of my favorite actresses.  Gorgeous in my least favorite color green.  She is perfection although she could have used more lip gloss.  Grade:  A

Kerry Washington black leather and white chiffon ... I guess it's okay although the leather looks like a roman gladiator's breastplate.  Grade:  B+

 

Looks like Amy Pohler forgot to take off her dressing gown.  Grade:  C-

 

Charlize Theron.  FANTASTICALLY TALENTED ACTRESS AND WORLD CLASS BEAUTY.  GRADE:  AAA  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!!
 

Jared Leto.  SO HANDSOME but that red piping on his tux kind of makes him look like a cartoon.  Grade:  A  (only cause I think he's cute).

Kate Winslet - what kind of fabric was that?  It was weird looking and shiny.

 

Michael Fassbender (OMG I'd jump his bones in a second!) unfortunately, he is Alicia Vikander's boyfriend so he jumps her bones.  Talk about some man candy!  HOT HOT HOT!!!!!  Grade:  AAA+++

 

Pharrell, I love you to death and I know you like to be different but dude ... YOU'RE AT THE OSCARS!  Wear some socks and uncuff those pants.  Grade:  S for STUPID

So that's it folks.  Please remember that I did not have access to my best source this year the "E! Network" and I can tell you right now my cable company will be receiving a nasty letter from me!  

Until next year .... happy trails 

and SMOOCHES!
 
 
 

2016 GRAMMY RED CARPET .... p.s. I know NOBODY ....

Justin and baby brother Jax (because he's young enough to have a BABY brother THAT young).  Justin love, did you just drink some chocolate milk or is that supposed to be a mustache?  

Justin is "cute" in that teen idol kinda way ... you know ... a guy that looks likes a girl. 

Taylor darling, uh ... I think I get where you were trying to go however, the big girl panties peeping through your skirt just ruined it for me. 

So I guess they're friends?  OR am I confusing these two girls with two other BFF's?????
 

Isn't this the little girl who doesn't like to walk and has an assistant to carry her whenever she gets tired?  Honey - you might want to lose those eyelashes.  If you blink too much you may become airborne.  
 

Zendaya, I don't know why but I LOVE this little girl. She is so poised and articulate and she has a real sense of her own style.

Anna Kendrick.  Girlfriend, please consider a lip plumper.  
 

Here she is.  The Human Toothpick Giuliana Rancic.  Notice how she is leaning ... the weight of this dress is just enough to topple her over. 

 EAT SOMETHING!

   

 Demi Lovato looking like a mature vampire.  She also sang Lionel Ritchie's "Hello" and girlfriend KILLED it.
 

I know the dude in the suit is Diplo.  I know this because I checked him out on YouTube.  His music (if you can call it that) made my ears bleed.

Adele.  Talented and beautiful.

... one wrong move and the whole wide world will see her kitty cat.
 

Donna Summer cir. 1977?
 

Grade:  NO.

Really?  It looks like she put her nightgown on backwards. 

 A belly dancing Judy Jetson?
 

Looking very rock n roll.  Perfect for the Grammys.
Who are you?
 

Merlin's assistant?
 

 Jane Seymour?  What the hell are YOU doing here?

 
Lisa Lampenelli ... yes.  You CAN lose too much weight.
 

That's it folks.  The only reason I did this post is because today was a day off for me and I figured what the hell.  

I'm watching the awards because I wanted to see the tributes to Glenn Frey, David Bowie and Maurice White. You know who they are don't you?  THEY WERE MUSICIANS .... WHO WROTE MUSIC AND LYRICS.  They did that back in the olden days when I was a teenager.  The BEST music came out of the 1970's.  PERIOD. BAR NONE.  

So glad I grew up when I did.  Hope you enjoyed my little post.  It will probably be the first and the last Grammy Best and Worst I'll ever do.

Nite Nite.  

2016 SAG AWARDS ...

I'm a little late with this post and I banged it out really fast so forgive me if I did not include some of your favorites.  And as always feel free to comment ...

Alicia Vikander.  I don't know what to say about this.  It reminds me an earth toned apartment cir. 1970.  Blocks and squares in browns blacks.  She looks beautiful but this dress does nothing for me.  For such a young beauty someone should have advised her better.  Grade:  C-

Amy Pohler.  Boring, boring, boring. Gown ... boring, hair, boring, makeup boring.  No jewelry or bling for an overall look of BORING. Grade:  F-

Anna Faris.  Mhmmm ... this looks like a 1950s dressing gown.  I've never been a fan of this type of collar.  The dress needs to be pressed and is ill fitting.  The sleeves have a cuff and the shoes are all wrong.  Grade:  D-
 

Brie Larson.  This photo does not do the dress justice. It looks wrinkled at the lap but on camera it was beautiful.  She has a great body although when she walked that slit almost gave everyone a glimpse of her lady parts.  Also, she could have gone with better shoe.  Her make up was flawless and I thought she looked quite beautiful. Grade:  A
 

I LOVE CAROL BURNETT!!!  The funniest woman EVER!  AND SMART.  That is the way to go ... SLIPPERS ON THE RED CARPET.  That would be me. Gorgeous AND comfortable.  Grade:  A ... cause she's a comic genius.
 

Christina Hendricks.  This dress is a catastrophe.  What is that limp thing on her shoulder?  A wilted bow?  A flap of a cape?  And there's another piece of fabric that looks as if it started out as a bow and ended up as a train.  All this in a wrinkly, brocade champagne fabric.  I know vintage is a popular way to go but this looks ratty and old.  I'm going to give her a C+ and the plus is only because her hair and makeup are gorgeous.  And that bag????   Ugh.
 

Christina Ricci.  This dress looks like a nightgown.  An UGLY nightgown.  Pink lace with black piping and pleats.  PLEATS.  PLEATS!  Grade:  F-
 

Claire Danes.  I guess she looks pretty in a boring, plain, unexciting BIG YAWN kind of way.  Her husband is super cute though.  Grade: C for AVERAGE.
 

 

Diane Lane.  MY FAVORITE!  Diane always brings it and I love that she's had no work.  She looks gorgeous!  Grade:  A+ 

Eva Longoria.  First of all it looks like she didn't even wash her hair.  As for the gown, I'm not feeling it.  The color is ghastly and the entire look is lacking something.  She should have at least added some bling ... especially if she was going to go with that unwashed hair look.  Her makeup is always good, even though she tends to wear A LOT of it.  Grade:  D
 

Gaby Hoffmann.  OK - an interesting bit of trivia for you.  I used to work with her uncle years ago.  He is an attorney, and his sister (Gaby's mother) is Viva, Andy Warhol's muse from back in the Factory Days.  Gaby needs a make-over.  First, she seriously needs to pluck those caterpillars over her eyes.  She has an interesting face but she needs to DO SOMETHING with it.  And that hair!  Definitely in need of some layers.  And Gaby ... what's with the shoes?  Green suede?  Grade:  F
 

Giuliana Rancic the Human Toothpick.  I can see she's going for a 1950's Audrey Hepburn look. I guess she succeeds but she is DEFINITELY NO AUDREY HEPBURN ... not with that doe-eyed, big toothed anorexic looking face.  Grade:  F-

Helen Mirren ... WOW!!!  What a woman!  Fabulous!  Love the hair, love the jewels, love the gown, LOVE THE ENTIRE LOOK.  Grade: A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
 

GREAT SCOT!!  What the hell is this?!  It looks like she threw on material that had just been cut from a pattern and then she wore it unfinished and inside out!  TO AN AWARD SHOW!  It also makes her look very thick in the middle.  Grade:  F-
 

Lori Petty.  EYES ROLLING ok ok, you're trendy and cutting edge and you look like you're wearing a parachute.  The hair is terrible, the makeup is terrible and the glasse are terrible.  The overall look .... TERRIBLE.  Grade:  F--  DOUBLE MINUS

Rachel McAdams, OMG I love this gal.  Beautiful face, beautiful hair, beautiful gown for an overall look of BEAUTIFUL.  Grade:  A+++ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

I LOVE JULIANNE MOORE!  This woman is FIFTY-FIVE!!!  SHE'S INCREDIBLE!  Love her hair/makeup and the dress.  The color is fabulous on her, but unfortunately, it does add a little weight to her midsection.  Other than that, Grade:  A+



Kayley Cuoco.  Great dress.  It looks fantastic on her body and I love a black gown, but her bun looks a little lopsided and she could have blinged it up a bit with some pretty earrings instead of those little black studs.  Grade:  B

 

 

The Rooney Sisters looking like Children of the Corn ... creepy.

Don't know her name ... but she seems to be channeling Abbe Lane from her days with Xavier Cugat.  Grade:  D- 

 

Gotta say, Queen Latifah is looking mighty elegant.  I find this look really nice on her.  Her makeup is flawless, hair and jewels, perfection.  Grade:  A+

This gal looks like a purdy little kitty cat with a BIG OLD BOW tied at the neck.  MEOW .... Grade:  F-



Viola Davis.  AMAZING actress!  This color looks beautiful on her although I'm not feeling the gown.  Grade:  C-

 

 

And last, but not least, Susan Sarandon.  Hon, yes, you once had a great pair of jugs but now it's time to cover those babies up.  You're pushing 70 Susan.  This is not sexy, it's Rude.  Grade:  D

 



 

 

NEXT TIME WE MEET ... THE ACADEMY AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!