So, let me just say that I am now entering the stage where I don't know who some of these actors are, and that makes one feel old. I also feel that really good movies today are rare and that is sad to me. The movie going experience is not what it used to be. But, despite all that, I am going to do my duty and report on the best and worst looks at this year's Oscars.
Michael B. Jordan, Oscar Winner looking mighty handsome. Grade: A
A classic example of Lycra gone wrong. And p.s., when you can see a tiny bit of nip, your gown doesn't fit. Just an FYI. Grade: C for cheap.
Heidi Klum. WTF are YOU doing here! Your dress is funky, your jewelry looks cheap, and your hair needs a serious redo.
Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos. They're a beautiful couple, but in person, Kelly Ripa looks like a bone in sequins. Grade: A
Felicity Jones. This dress is all wrong. Very few people can wear pale yellow unless you're 8 years old and it's Easter Sunday. The gown makes her look thick in the middle and does nothing for her. Grade: F
Rita Wilson needs to hire a stylist. This looks like a "mother of the bride" dress she purchased at David's Bridal. Grade: F-
Kendall Jenner channeling Jessica Rabbit and/or Chi Chi LaRue. Grade: F.
Demi Moore. LOSE THE FUCKING MORTICIA HAIR AND EAT SOMETHING!!!!
The Princess of Hollywood, Nicole Kidman. This is a beautiful gown, and amazingly, the same color as her skin. Her hair and makeup are gorgeous, but can I just say that she kind of bugs the shit outta me now? Ever since her divorce from Keith Urban, SHE IS EVERYWHERE like she wants EVERYONE to know she's alright. UGH. Grade: A
Emma Stone. She always nails it. She looks fabulous in this beautiful yet simple gown. WINNER WINNER WINNER!!! Grade: A+
Rose Byrne. GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS! Sheer perfection! Beautiful dress, gorgeous hair, and makeup! WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!!
Grade: AAA!
Little Katie Hudson in green. Hate Kate, but she does look really good in this gown that fits her to perfection. Grade: A
Zoe Saldana looks quite nice; however, I think a red lip might have added a lot. Grade: B
This little lady looks like a perfect Disney princess. Grade: A
Anne Hathaway. On camera, while she was presenting, this looked absolutely beautiful. I loved it. Grade: A
This is a look more for the Grammys. Slutty Chic. For the Oscars, this is definitely a NO. Grade: F-
Kristin Wiig. This look is definitely lacking. Color - BORING, fit - ILL, and makeup and hair could have been a lot better. Grade: D-
Teyana Taylor. Not sure about this. She looks great, but is the fabric too furry? I'm feeling ... skunk? Grade: B
Pedro Pascal. HUBBA HUBBA! I like it! Grade: A
... and here she is ... the only woman who can afford a $400 blow out and steam her vagina at the same time. But, IMHO who also needs some lip filler on her upper lip. Like really. You should check that out Gwyneth. I hate you, so you get an F-
Chloe Zhao, director of Hamnet. Um. OK. It's better than her Golden Globes look. Grade: C
Jacob Elordi. I'd do him in a red-hot minute. Grade: A
Timothee Chalamet. Where's the milk?
Renate Reinsve. Perfect in its simplicity. And btw, beautiful legs! Grade: A
Jesse Buckley. Oscar Winner. Grade: C
Infiniti Chase. Beautiful girl, beautiful gown, very feminine. Not feeling the hair, but I'll give her a B+
Class Couple. Grade: A
Melissa McCarthy looking pretty fab. However, it looks like a beautiful strapless gown worn over a black sweater.
Fran Drescher channeling Valley of the Dolls, Jacqueline Susann.
Elle Fanning. Same dress, different event. I'd love to see her in a COLOR, or just plain ol black. She looks like a princess though. Grade: A
Sigourney Weaver channeling Pat Nixon.
Adrian Brody. There is definitely something about him. Grade: A
Love me some Delroy Lindo! Such a good actor!
Well, that's it folks! Until next year!
