I know I'm a complicated gal ...

My husband reads all my posts before I post them. Sometimes he'll laugh out loud and other times he'll just say ..."that was good hon". This is because he has heard all my stories, my whining, my kvetching and complaining a hundred million times so my thoughts are "old news" to him. Right now I'm working on a post that is basically my thoughts on the last 18 months of my unemployment and I had him read it. You know what he said? He said I sound like a hater! A negative, angry woman. Now ... this is exactly what you DO NOT say to a co-dependent woman. Now I'm all thinking ... "maybe I AM a hater? maybe I am a negative, angry woman? Maybe I am baaaaaad? Maybe if I exercised and lost weight I'd be better? Maybe I'd get a job? Maybe if I wasn't me I could be someone else... someone better? ... someone more positive? Maybe I'd be one of those people who just attracts wealth and success to them? ... IT'S ALL MY FAULT, ALL OF IT! The war in Afghanistan, the economy, Katrina ... my negative thoughts have infiltrated the ether of life and I'm to blame for it all?!? SEE?! SEE WHAT I MEAN? This is what it's like to be me.

Thank God for meds.

Viggo ....... *SIGH*

What can I say ... WOW. First of all, the movie was very dark. Very bleak. Frightening. But Viggo's performance ... BEAUTIFUL. Heartbreaking. I don't know if I could take seeing it again, it is so, so sad. The theatre was full and we were sitting about halfway up ... I took two pictures but it was clear we were too far away ... they came out completely black! BIG BUMMER.



I really had to control myself towards the end of the film or I would have been sobbing out loud! After the film, sure enough, they introduced Viggo and he came out from the side, kinda of near where we were sitting and I really couldn't believe my eyes. He is younger looking in person. Tall, thin, with a very easy going aura about him. His hair is on the long side and he had on jeans and a T-shirt of his favorite soccer team. Can I just say that as obsessed as I have been with this man over the years, I have seen tons and tons of video on him doing this very type of thing ... Q&A's so it was almost familiar! Like I was watching a video but I wasn't ... I WAS REALLY THERE! He took questions from the moderator and from the audience as well. I did not ask a question cause I didn't want to seem like a desperate stalker and besides, my husband was sitting right next to me. But you know what ... he seems so nice, so approachable that I would feel very comfortable asking for a picture or an autograph ... he exudes graciousness.

I gotta tell you that I felt sooooooo stupid for a bit because there he was ... in my presence ... in the same room as I ... and I have had A HUNDRED MILLION FANTASIES ABOUT THIS GUY .... HOW EMBARRASSING!!!! He has been my boyfriend in my mind for so long that the reality of it all was ... well, embarrassing. I mean if I were Viggo and I could read minds I think I'd never leave my house.

Viggo tends to ramble on a bit when answering a question and I've noticed this in interviews as well. My husband, after we left the theatre commented on this ... Dan: "... dayum he went on and on, ALRIGHT ALREADY ANSWER THE QUESTION!" ... Me: "That is exactly how you talk." And it's true, only Danny can find eight hundred different ways of asking you WHY?????? Then he commented on how the entire audience were just Viggo fans and "Hollywood people". Next time I do something like this I'mona take a girlfriend. And I don't mean that in a mean way, it's just that it is more of a GIRL thing ... any who ... I was very disappointed that Viggo didn't stay for handshakes and pictures. Very disappointed. When the Q&A was over they asked all of us to stay in our seats because Viggo had to go ... in other words, don't come down here and crowd around him cause he's gotta get outta here and no sooner were those words out of the moderators mouth, a ton of people rush up to the front but Viggo just gave a wave and disappeared.

We parked in the back of the theatre and I kept hoping we'd see him so I could ask him for a picture but we didn't. All in all, I still can't believe I saw him in the flesh. Odder still, was that I wasn't beside myself with excitement the way I thought I'd be. Weird huh. He's a real person, know what I mean. He seemed very real, very nice. Even Danny said that ... he seems like a really nice guy and he does! He comes across very down to earth, very unaffected, not movie-starish at all. He's very much an artist, a renaissance man and he's funny.

To those of you who have known of my obsession with Viggo all these years, I would never have imagined that I would one day be in the same room with him. And I am not one to seek out celebrities or if I do see one in person, I never approach because the few times I have I've just felt really stupid. I remember once seeing Tony Curtis in Vegas playing video poker and I went up to him and he gave me the big ol brush off. I FELT SOOOOOO STUPID! And I wanted to tell him that the only reason I even approached him was because I saw him on t.v. say how much he loves when his fans come up and talk to him. NOT.

So, all in all it was a very memorable night and I think that if it were a different event where he was all gussied up in a suit or tuxedo I probably would have lost control. I definitely plan to do this again one day, but as far as I know, Viggo has no plans to do another movie for a while. I know that he is going to do a play in Spain pretty soon. And I know that they are planning to do a film of The Hobbit, which he may participate in, but I'll let you all know as soon as I find out.

So that's it folks! A dream come true for the Debster! I'm only sorry that I wasn't able to get a picture of the two of us to post ... but there's always next time!

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! Today's the day!!!!!

ONLY TWO MORE DAYS AND I'LL BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!

*sigh* ...

I WANNA BE RICH !!!!!!

I was watching The View this morning and Ivana and Ivanka Trump were guests and, well ....okay, okay I ADMIT IT! ... I WANNA BE RICH!!! I'm tired of not being able to color my hair, or go shopping, or buy a new dress and go out to a fancy schmancy restaurant and drink Cosmopolitans all night. I wanna have a yacht and a mansion in the Hampton's and an apartment on 5th Avenue. I wanna have charge accounts at Lord & Taylor, Saks and Barneys. I want to own a couple of $1,000 bags and be able to afford Jimmy Choo shoes. I wanna travel by limousine and be able to take the Lear jet to my vacation home in Mystique.

I've been humble and non-materialistic all my life and now ... I WANNA BE RICH!!!!!

I wanna be treated with deference and be ushered to the best tables in the best restaurants. I wanna have front row seats to every concert and play that I have been longing to see. I want doors to open for me and umbrellas to be held above my head in the rain so I won't get wet. I wanna have a gorgeous set of diamond post earrings that I would wear all the time. I wanna "do lunch" and drive a Mercedes and have super expensive facials once a week. I wanna have an adorable tiny designer dog named Buffy that I would take with me everywhere and we would have manis and pedis together.

I wanna have someone come in and decorate my 5th Avenue apartment and I want to have a full-time staff who would cook and clean and do laundry for me. I wanna be able to travel to Europe and sail the Mediterranean at the drop of a hat. I wanna have dinner with chic and interesting people and I wanna sit front row at all the collections and have Anna Wintour wanna be MY FRIEND. I want Princess Caroline to invite me to stay at the Palace in Monaco for the Monaco Grand Prix. I wanna have homes in Monaco, Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Napa, California, and Taos, New Mexico. I wanna write books in my leisure time ... books that people would love and that would earn awards and get turned into movies. I don't ever want to worry about money again. I don't ever want to figure out how I'm going to fix a car, a toilet, a drain. I wanna sit in a beautiful formal dining room and ring a bell and have my meal served to me and my guests on beautiful china and then after dinner we would retire to the drawing room where I would have my guests listen to live, world class jazz ... because I can afford it. I want to be a size 4 and be able to purchase any designer dress, gown, trousers, blouses, jackets and furs that I desire.

I couldn't help it folks. Watching Ivana and Ivanka just got me day-dreaming. How great it would be to have everything you ever dreamed of and none of the financial worries. I know that short of winning the lottery this will never, EVER happen, but dayum, it sure is nice to dream.

Kreative Blogger Award

I am so late in posting this! Please forgive me Bunny!

Bunny Misbrenner of "I'm Just Say'n" awarded me with this award for my creative blogging. THANKS BUNNY! Which, to me, is really cool because she is really funny and if she thinks I'm creative well, that's a big ol compliment. This is why we get along ... we both have the same sarcastic, dry humor. So Bunny, danke schoen (that's Thanks in German LOL) but you probably already know that Miss Misbrenner! Okay, so now I gotta name 7 things that no one who knows me would really know. (I only hope they still wanna be my friends afterwards!)

1. I totally talk to myself. I have real conversations with people in my head ... out loud. I once had an old lady in the market come up to me and say "honey, do you know you're talking to yourself?"

2. Despite all my sarcasm and use of profanity on my blog, I am really quite spiritual. I believe in God and believe that he is in complete control of everything and is intimately involved in our lives ... even my little insignificant life ... which to God, is not insignificant at all.

3. I have never, ever, tasted cottage cheese but I know I wouldn't like it.

4. I am in love with my dog ... like, "in love" ... I kiss her and don't care if her tongue goes in my mouth cause I LOOOOOOOVE HER.

5. I have to have something sweet on a daily basis. I have a major, major sweet tooth and this is why I am such a big fat pig.

6. I love critters. I will never be without a pet or pets. Cats and dogs LOVE 'EM!

7. I don't like taking baths. I'm a shower girl.

NOW, these are some Kreative Blogs that I would like to nominate for a Kreative Blog Award:

1. Bunny @http://bunnymissbrenner.blogspot.com
2. Marie @http://dancingintatteredshoes.blogspot.com
3. Charlie @http://artfulcollections.blogspot.com
4. Anita @http://wwwcastlescrownscottages.blogspot.com

And I'm so sorry, I know that I'm supposed to nominate seven (7) blogs but that is all I can post right now. I do take a look around at other people's blogs but they're not "friends" of mine ... Bunny, can I still nominate them? Lemme know!

THANKS FOLKS!

The search for the perfect pan

After 13 years of marriage I am in desperate need of some new cookware. My favorite pan, skillet, whatever you wanna call is so old and messed up that I literally had to throw it away. So, now begins the tug and pull of convincing my husband that I need cookware, and please, please daddy may I get some? If I were working there would be none of this begging and pleading, I'd just get it! But ... I'm not working and therefore I feel as if my husband is my dad and because I have no identity of my own these days ... I feel like I have to ask. I'm already planning my arguments in my head ... pro and con .... it's for you honey, really! To cook your meals and give you nourishment my wonderful husband. So, I'm figuring it shouldn't be a big ol deal ... I mean it's not like I wanna purchase a pair of diamond stud earrings. THINK AGAIN.

So, I begin my search for the perfect pan. With a lid. Which if you've ever tried to find a good pan with a lid you will soon realize that it doesn't exist. They do this on purpose. It's kind of like buying a pack of hot dogs and then you have to buy two packs of buns because one is not enough ... 6 buns for 8 hot dogs. Same idea. You cannot buy a pan with a lid without purchasing the entire set of cookware ... which I don't need. All I need is ONE PAN with ONE LID. And I want a good pan, not a pan that is going to warp once the heat gets to it and then the Teflon starts peeling off slowing poisoning my family.

Now you can find pans all day long, but not with lids! UGH. I made the rounds of all the stores, Target, Macy's, blah blah blah. I did find a casserole type pan/dish that would have worked for me but it was $100. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS! So, I ask the saleslady, "hey, is this going to go on sale anytime soon?" sales lady: "OH YEAH, come back on Friday for our one day sale. Everything is on sale ... you'll save a ton of money but get here before 1:00 pm." me: "GREAT!" So, I feel really proud of myself, I did my research, my comparison shopping and I'MONA GET A DEAL!

Friday I go back to the store ready for my big deal. I find the same sales lady, "hey! remember me?!" ... sales lady: "ooooooh, you know what ... that one isn't on sale .... awwwwww, I'm so sorry". Awwwww FUCK! By now I'm frustrated and tired of looking and searching the entire frickin' world for an f-ing pan so she talks me into purchasing the entire set of cookware BUT I also get three FREE pieces: 3-cookie sheets, a big ol bowl with lid and another casserole dish. Great. I NEED IT ... I'LL TAKE IT.

Now, I must confess that I actually thought of hiding this purchase in the trunk of my car and just pulling out one piece at a time so the Big Boss wouldn't know but then I figured NAH, THAT'S NOT RIGHT. So I bring all the bags in the house and I'll just 'splain to the hubby how I could really use it and I only charged half of it and wrote a check for the other half, and I got a great deal blah blah blah.

Well, we had a big ol fight. "OK OK, I'll take it all back!" His argument; we only need ONE pan so let's just buy a really good one even if it's expensive and at least we'll know it's quality and then we can just make it a habit of purchasing the best, piece by piece, over time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever ... I know I'm not gonna win. So, I try to explain to him how difficult it is to find ONE GOOD PAN WITH A LID. That's all I needed to say ... This man immediately jumps on the computer to begin researching, shopping and looking a pictures of all kinds of pans ... (funny how he just doesn't take my word for it ... THAT YOU CANNOT FIND A FUCKING PAN WITH A LID WITHOUT BUYING AN ENTIRE SET OF COOKWARE!!!)

SO, that Saturday afternoon we went shopping for a pan. I took him to ALL the places I'd already been and finally, he slowly begins to realize that his wife ISN'T a lying, psychotic beyotch after all ... GEE, IT REALLY IS DIFFICULT TO FIND A GOOD PAN WITH A LID. WOW. AMAZING. I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY. ... I wanted to dot his eyes out.