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ADVENTURES IN DANNYLAND ... INCIDENT NO. 12,634

So ... I have this really weird thing about light.  If the light is off in the bedroom and I'm watching T.V. and the light from the bathroom is filtering into the bedroom I get all weirded out and HAVE to turn it off.  I think it reminds me of all the times I was sick as a kid and my mom would leave the bathroom light on so she could see instead of turning the light on in my room.  That kind of ambient light still gives me the creeps. 

Also, I cannot and WILL NOT tolerate a ceiling light.  Recessed lighting YES.  A single light in the middle of the ceiling in the living room NO.  THERE MUST BE LAMPS.  We all have these weird phobias.  My daughter will not drink a glass of water until she inspects the glass to make sure that there is no broken glass IN the water.  She told me once ... "I'm crazy huh?" "No," I said "You're normal.  We all do shit like that."

ALSO, my light bulbs must be 100 or 75 watts.  NOTHING LESS.  In my opinion, if you're going to turn on a light that is only 40 watts what's the fucking point?  Just leave it dark.

OK.  So now that I've set up my story ... please continue reading ...

The other day one of the light bulbs in my bedroom lamps burned out so naturally, I needed another one immediately.  So I asked Danny to please get me some light bulbs.  Now remember that Danny is the type of person that will go to the ACME Store because he doesn't want to deal with the REAL SUPERMARKET where he has to park the car, walk into the store, get a cart, wait in a line, etc., et al.  ALSO, he has been known to purchase a can of chili beans to feed four people at a BBQ that is only large enough to feed ONE ...

This conversation ensues ...

Me:  Honey, can you remember to get us some light bulbs?

Danny:  Yes.  I'll get them after work.

HOW DO THEY SELL LIGHT BULBS?  In a pack of two right?  Sometimes a pack of four?  He comes home, gives me a light bulb and I put it in the lamp. Voila!  A 40 watt bulb.  Whatever.

THEN, the very next day the lamp on my other nightstand goes out.  So I need another light bulb. 

Me:  "Danny, where are the light bulbs?"

Danny:  "I just got you one the other day?"

Me:  "I know that, but the other lamp in our room needs a light bulb."

Danny:  "But you already put a light bulb in the lamp in the bedroom."

Me:  "No.  I moved the light bulb from the lamp in the living room to the lamp in the bedroom and now the other lamp in the bedroom needs a light bulb so I need another light bulb."

Danny:  "I'll get it for you right now."

I WAIT.

Me:  "Danny."

SILENCE.

Me:  "Danny ... LIGHT BULB?"

HERE IT COMES ...

Me:  "Danny ... how many light bulbs did you get?"

Danny:  "One."

YOU SEE!  THIS IS WHY I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF!

Comments

  1. Debbie...I just sooo love reading about Dannyland. I laugh soooo much! Gotta love him!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think it's time he gets his own blog!

    ReplyDelete

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…