So, with that in mind ... let's get started!
Alicia Vikander. Beautiful! She looks very young and sweet and elegant. Love the color of this gown .... Grade: A
Jennifer Lawrence. BEAUTIFUL! Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown. WINNER WINNER WINNER!!! Grade: A++
Brie Larson. I'm not really feeling this gown. The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here. Grade: C
Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife. Class Couple! Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME. Wife Grade: A, Dave's Grade: C-
I have no idea who this lady is but I LOVED her gown!!! GORGEOUS!! GLAMOROUS!! WINNER WINNER WINNER!!! Grade: A++
YOU AGAIN? You look like a feather duster. Grade: F-
Maria Menunous. She is so pretty. Love this gown, love her hair, makeup .... it's a win win. Grade: A
Pageant Girl Nancy O'Dell - Grade: Nancy gets an F for being TOO TOO perfect.
Olivia Munn. Beautiful. I love this color. The dress is perfection in its simplicity. Truly Elegant. Grade: A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
Olivia Wilde looks like she forgot to put her blouse on under her pinafore. Don't like it. Pleats again??? She's so beautiful I don't understand why she chose this gown. The choker does absolutely does nothing for this look and her hair makes her look like a hausfrau. Grade: D-
The only living cadaver, Giuliana Rancic. As my mouse hovered over her picture I SWEAR an ad came up about binge and purging. So she's super glam and then she has a fitbit on her wrist????? And FYI ... If ever she needed an x-ray all an x-ray tech would have to do would be to look at her because EVERY ONE OF HER BONES IS VISIBLE. I don't mean to hate on her really, but DAYUM she looks like if you accidentally bumped into her she'd break. Grade: T ... for TOO FUCKIN' SKINNY
Rooney Mara. She's becoming known for this very severe, yet feminine, clean look but honestly, I'm growing bored with it. Must she always wear her hair pulled back so tight? Yet ... she does look beautiful (except for that little topknot on her head which is giving me a Migraine) Grade: A
Saorise Ronan. First of all I LOVED the movie Brooklyn. It was the most beautiful love story I've seen in a long time. I think she is perfection! Gorgeous color (and I'm usually not a fan of green), her hair, jewlery, make up - Grade A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
Sofia Vergara (pick a year or a dress) Grade: The Same. Very pretty.
Cate Blanchett always nails it. Beautiful aqua gown with feathery embellishments. Etheral and beautiful. Grade: A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
Representing Mr. Bowie???
Julianne Moore always brings it. Gorgeous!! Grade A! WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
Margo Robbie. This girl is BEAUTIFUL. I like what she's wearing .... love the bag with the long tassle. Grade: B+
Tina Fey looking quite pretty. Grade: B
Rachel McAdams. One of my favorite actresses. Gorgeous in my least favorite color green. She is perfection although she could have used more lip gloss. Grade: A
Kerry Washington black leather and white chiffon ... I guess it's okay although the leather looks like a roman gladiator's breastplate. Grade: B+
Looks like Amy Pohler forgot to take off her dressing gown. Grade: C-
Charlize Theron. FANTASTICALLY TALENTED ACTRESS AND WORLD CLASS BEAUTY. GRADE: AAA WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!!
Jared Leto. SO HANDSOME but that red piping on his tux kind of makes him look like a cartoon. Grade: A (only cause I think he's cute).
Kate Winslet - what kind of fabric was that? It was weird looking and shiny.
Michael Fassbender (OMG I'd jump his bones in a second!) unfortunately, he is Alicia Vikander's boyfriend so he jumps her bones. Talk about some man candy! HOT HOT HOT!!!!! Grade: AAA+++
Pharrell, I love you to death and I know you like to be different but dude ... YOU'RE AT THE OSCARS! Wear some socks and uncuff those pants. Grade: S for STUPID
So that's it folks. Please remember that I did not have access to my best source this year the "E! Network" and I can tell you right now my cable company will be receiving a nasty letter from me!
Until next year .... happy trails