Tuesday, January 26, 2016

BORN THIS WAY ...



As stepmother to a daughter with Down Syndrome, I have been watching a new reality show titled “Born This Way”.  It is a little gem and I would encourage all of you out there to check it out.  It is a reality show that is heartwarming, poignant, uplifting and edifying.  No one is dating while naked; no one is x-raying their ass to prove they don’t have butt implants, and no one is trying to get a bachelor to marry them.  It is about real people with real struggles and after I watch it I always feel GOOD.

My Lauren is 29 years old.  I have been in her life for many years now and have been around lots of kids with Down Syndrome and other mental disabilities.  At first I felt a little nervous about how I should communicate or behave around these kids and I soon realized that I had nothing to fear.  They are more normal than NORMAL people.  I think their greatest characteristic is that they are innately kind.  Lauren can be a pain in the neck sometimes, but her heart is bigger than the Grand Canyon.

This is what I love about this new reality series.  It shows how really normal these kids are.  They have the same dreams/wants/desires and hopes of everyone else.  Some have disabilities that are more severe than others, but almost all of the kids on this reality show are very high functioning.  For instance, most of them can read really well which is something I’ve always wanted to teach Lauren because I think she’d LOVE escaping into a good book.  But she has little patience and gets frustrated easily.  Some are good with money, some are not.  Lauren is not.  As one of her friends once told me, Lauren can’t tell a dollar from a dime!  To which I couldn't stop laughing because it's true.

Lauren LOVES music and movies.  She knows the dialogue of almost every romantic comedy ever made, BY HEART and she knows the lyrics to literally thousands of songs.  A few years back I took Lauren to see Selena Gomez in concert.  Lauren stood and danced through the entire concert.  There was a couple sitting next us who had two little girls and the parents were getting annoyed at Lauren because their little girls couldn't see.  They asked me if I could ask Lauren to sit down.  Uh ... sure.  But what they wouldn't understand is that asking Lauren to sit down and watch instead of dance at a Selena Gomez concert is akin to trying to stop a racing locomotive.  She can’t help herself. And can I just say SELENA GOMEZ CONCERT TICKETS ARE EXPENSIVE!! 

As for dreams, Lauren wants to get married and have babies like her sisters.  She tells me all the time that she’d “make a great mom” and I always say, “yes you would, but first you have to find a nice boyfriend and THEN get married and THEN you can have a baby” ... I never tell her that her dreams are not possible

When Lauren first came into my life I was unprepared.  How do I deal with this little girl?  Having been single until I was nearly 40 I had no experience with kids and no patience as it was, and now I had a step-daughter with a disability.  Many times I sat in church and begged God not to let me burn in hell because I would get so frustrated with her and lose my cool.  I lived with a tremendous amount of guilt and shame and frustration ... always directed at myself for not have enough patience and understanding.  Thank God for girlfriends.  One who told me to stop beating myself up so much.  She assured me that I wasn't evil because she wanted to kill her own kids sometimes!  It just comes with being a parent.  Nevertheless, I struggled a lot.

It's now been 20+ years that Lauren and I have been best friends.  She LOVES me more than I deserve and has taught me so much.  She ALWAYS remembers my birthday, calls me twice a day ... just to check on me, and is great company.  We are simpatico ... we like the same things, music and movies and we are great pals and I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Without sounding schmaltzy, Lauren and others like her are guileless.  Do not know how to be cruel.  Love without reservation.  Have empathy for ALL people and are real examples of how to live life.  In the moment, joyfully with love. 

Lauren ... isn't she the cutest!
So do yourselves a favor and check out this adorable reality show. You won't be sorry.   

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

ACADAMY AWARDS CONTROVERSY ...

So Hollywood has its knickers in a twist over a lack of diversity in the Academy Award nominations.  Spike Lee and Jada Pinkett Smith are going to boycott the awards and Tyrese Gibson wants Chris Rock to resign from the hosting gig.   Here’s my take on this … You all need to SHADDUP.  You’re all EXTREMELY well paid.  IT’S AN AWARD. 

No one claps for me when I come to work in the morning.  I make in a year what you all make in an hour and I sit at a desk and do as I'm told.  You all get to do something you love that pays you tons of money.  I’d be happy to be ignored by the Academy if I had a check with six zeros in it.  You folks take yourselves far too seriously.  You’re actors and entertainers.  Boycott the awards if you want but I can tell you, not much is going to change. 

Look at it this way … it’s like … say you work for Wal-Mart.  And then say you want to unionize.  And then say Wal-Mart says FUCK YOU.  And then Wal-Mart CLOSES your store and lays you and all your friends off so you can’t unionize and now none of you have no job.  THIS is cause for a boycott.  (FYI - this really happened in Pico Rivera, CA). Yeah yeah.  Wal-Mart had a superstore in Pico Rivera.  The workers were attempting to unionize and Wal-Mart closed the store down so fast those folks didn't know what hit them.  Hundreds of people out of work just like that.  You see ... NO ONE FUCKS WITH WAL-MART.  But I digress.

So, not getting enough nominations is not the end of the world.  You see in REAL LIFE when there is an injustice that affects REAL PEOPLE, well ... basically NO ONE CARES.  So cry me a river Hollywood.  Put your big girl panties on a deal with it.  You all sound like a bunch of cry-babies.  Wah, I didn’t get nominated for an Oscar!  Wah, the injustice!  IT’S LIFE PEOPLE.  Sometimes shit doesn’t go your way.  I didn’t get a raise last year do you see me crying? 

And just for the sake of argument, here is a list of all African-American winners and nominees from the beginning of time:

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE




1958




Sidney Poitier

BEST ACTOR



The Defiant Ones




Nominated



1963



Sidney Poitier

BEST ACTOR



Lillies of the Field



WON



1970



James Earl Jones

BEST ACTOR



The Great White Hope



Nominated



1972



Paul Winfield

BEST ACTOR



Sounder



Nominated



1986



Dexter Gordon

BEST ACTOR



Round Midnight



Nominated



1989



Morgan Freeman

BEST ACTOR




Driving Miss Daisy



Nominated





1993



Laurence Fishburne

BEST ACTOR



What’s Love Got To Do With It



Nominated



1994



Morgan Freeman

BEST ACTOR



The Shawshank Redemption




Nominated



1999



Denzel Washington

BEST ACTOR




The Hurricane



Nominated



2001



Denzel Washington

BEST ACTOR



Training Day



WON



2001



Will Smith

BEST ACTOR



Ali



Nominated




2004



Jamie Foxx

BEST ACTOR



Ray



WON



2004



Don Cheadle

BEST ACTOR




Hotel Rwanda



Nominated



2005



Terrence Howard

BEST ACTOR



Hustle & Flow




Nominated



2006



Forest Whitaker

BEST ACTOR




The Last King of Scotland



Won



2006



Will Smith

BEST ACTOR




The Pursuit of Happyness



Nominated



2009



Morgan Freeman

BEST ACTOR




Invictus



Nominated



2012



Denzel Washington

BEST ACTOR




Flight



Nominated



2013



Chiwetel Ejiofor



12 Years a Slave



Nominated


 BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE



1954



Dorothy Dandrige



Carmen Jones



Nominated



1972



Diana Ross



Lady Sings the Blues



Nominated




1972



Cicely Tyson



Sounder



Nominated



1974



Diahann Carroll



Claudine



Nominated



1985



Whoopi Goldberg



The Color Purple



Nominated



1993



Angela Bassett



What’s Love Got to Do With It



Nominated



2001



Halle Berry



Monster’s Ball



WON




2009



Gabouorey Sidibe



Precious



Nominated



2011



Viola Davis



The Help



Nominated



2012



Quvenzhane Wallis



Beasts of the Southern Wild



Nominated


 BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE



1969



Rupert Crosse



The Reivers



Nominated



1981



Howarda Rollins



Ragtime



Nominated




1982



Louis Gosset, Jr.



An Officer and a Gentlemen



WON



1984



Adolph Caesar



A Soldier’s Story



Nominated



1987



Morgan Freeman



Street Smart



Nominated



1987



Denzel Washington



Cry Freedom



Nominated



1989



Denzel Washington



Glory



WON




1992



Jaye Davidson



The Crying Game



Nominated



1994



Samuel L. Jackson



Pulp Fiction



Nominated



1996



Cuba Gooding, Jr.



Jerry Maguire



WON




1999



Michael Clarke Duncan



The Green Mile



Nominated




2003



Djimon Hounsou



In America



Nominated



2004



Morgan Freeman



Million Dollar Baby



WON



2004



Jamie Foxx



Collateral



Nominated



2006



Djimon Hounsou



Blood Diamond



Nominated



2006



Eddie Murphy



Dreamgirls



Nominated




2013



Barkhad Abdi



Captain Phillips



Nominated


 BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

                                            


1939



Hattie McDaniel



Gone with the Wind



WON



1949



Ethel Waters



Pinky



Nominated




1959



Juanita Moore



Imitation of Life



Nominated



1967



Carol Channing (I had no idea she was black)



Thoroughly Modern Millie



Nominated



1967



Beah Richards



Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner



Nominated





1983



Alfre Woodard



Cross Creek



Nominated



1985



Margaret Avery



The Color Purple



Nominated



1985



Oprah Winfrey



The Color Purple



Nominated




1990



Whoopi Goldberg



Ghost



WON



1996



Marianne Jean-Baptiste



Secrets & Lies



Nominated




2002



Queen Latifah



Chicago



Nominated (should have won)




2004



Sophie Okonedo



Hotel Rwanda



Nominated



2006



Jennifer Hudson



Dreamgirls



WON



2007



Ruby Dee



American Gangster



Nominated



2008



Viola Davis



Doubt



Nominated





2008



Taraji P. Henson



The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



Nominated



2009



Mo’Nique



Precious



WON



2011



Octavia Spencer



The Help



WON




2013



Lupita Nyong’o



12 Years a Slave



WON


Check Wikipedia for the rest of the winners.  There have been approximately 75+ winners and nominees in all  categories.  This is nothing to sneeze it.  In contrast, let’s compare to the list of winners and nominees who are Hispanic.  

ALL HISPANIC WINNERS AND NOMINEES
SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME


1988


Edward James Olmos

BEST ACTOR


Stand and Deliver


Nominated


First and ONLY Hispanic-American to be nominated for Best Actor



1947



Tomas Gomez

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR



Ride the Pink Horse



Nominated



First Hispanic-American to be nominated for an Academy Award



1959



Susan Kohner

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS



Imitation of Life



Nominated



First Hispanic-American to be nominated for Best Supporting Actress




1962



Rita Moreno

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS



West Side Story



WINNER



First Hispanic-American to win an Academy Award




1991



Mercedes Ruehl

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS



The Fisher King



WINNER



First Cuban-American to win an Academy Award



 WRITING AND MUSIC



1983



Gregory Nava

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY



El Norte



Nominated







2002



Luis Restro

BEST ORIGINAL SONG



8 Mile



WON




Shared with Eminen and Jeff Bass


That's it.  So if anyone should be complaining about the lack of diversity it should be us Hispanics.  African-Americans are WAY ahead of us Latinos.  WAY, WAY ahead.  So you all need to just take a chill pill and relax.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fairness and diversity, but we're talking about HOLLYWOOD ... it's the movies, not science.  And besides, some of the greatest actors and actresses in the history of the movies never won an Oscar.  They are, to name just a few:

Robert Redford

Richard Burton

Montgomery Clift

Glen Close

Kirk Douglas

Albert Finney

Greta Garbo

Cary Grant

Deborah Kerr

Myrna Loy

Marilyn Monroe

Gena Rowlands

Barbara Stanwyck

Orson Wells

James Mason

Peter Fonda

Richard Gere

Annette Bening

Catherine Deneuve

Ava Gardner

Judy Garland

Julie Harris

Janet Leigh

Madeline Kahn

Mia Farrow

Kathleen Turner

Natalie Wood

Michelle Pfeiffer









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