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Thursday, December 18, 2014

GROW UP: PARENTING WARS WITH JOHN STOSSEL ...

Dan and I were channel surfing the other night when a program on Fox looked interesting ... 

GROW UP: PARENTING WARS WITH JOHN STOSSEL
Airs Saturday and Sunday at 10PM ET on Fox News Channel
Stossel offers some new ideas on parenting to help your kids GROW UP!

FREE-RANGE KIDS:  Lenore Skenazy was called "America's Worst Mom" because she let her 9-year-old ride the subway alone. She says kids benefit from less supervision and more independence. Critics say "free range" parenting is irresponsible and dangerous. They could get abducted by a stranger! They could, but why so much fear now when abductions are extremely rare, and crime is at a 50 year low?

OK ... FREE-RANGE KIDS? 

Back in the Dark Ages when I was a little girl my mother would send my brother and I (ages 6 and 4) to the liquor store to buy milk for her BY OURSELVES.  And we had to cross a big old boulevard to get there.  We were given money, told not to talk to strangers and wait for the man to give you the change and off we went totally oblivious to kidnappers and murderers.  Was it wise?  Personally, I couldn't tell you, but we're both still here and basically sane. 

WUSSIFICATION: Trophies used to be an award for winning. Now, kids get a trophy just for showing up. Does this turn them into wimps? Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes says yes, because kids "learning to lose, learning to fail" is "what childhood is all about." Parenting blogger Jenn-Anne Gledhill says, "you call it wussification, I'm going to go ahead and call it a spiritual awakening."

GOD ALMIGHTY WE'VE ABSOLUTELY WUSSIFIED OUR KIDS TODAY and Jenn-Anne Gledhill is a moron.  What she calls spiritual awakening I call wussification.  If everyone wins then what makes winning special?  If everyone wins a trophy there's no real meaning in that.  No victory.  No real success.  This not how the world works.  Everyone is NOT a winner.  Some people get D's on their report cards, some people get fired from their jobs, and other people have to take a lot of crap at work to collect their paycheck.  IT'S CALLED LIFE PEOPLE and sometimes people are big old losers.  Kids need to learn how to lose and realize they are not the center of the fucken Universe.  Some people do things better than others.  The sooner you learn that the better off you'll be.  No one claps for me when I arrive at work in the morning like I'm Oprah Winfrey.  WAH WAH WAH.   

THE TIGER-MOM:  Western parents were shocked by Amy Chua's strict Chinese parenting methods: her daughters were forced to practice piano several hours every day; they couldn't have sleepovers or watch TV. Chua even called her own daughter "garbage" once. Is it too extreme? What do Chua's daughters say, now that they're older? We asked them if they even like their mom.

Mrs. Chua needs a boot up her ass.  Her children are not HER.  They are individuals.  They have their own personalities and character traits.  I think if I'd had a tiger mother like her I'd have grown up to be a serial killer.  And the first person I'd kill would be her. 

GENDER NEUTRAL KIDS: Some parents say kids should choose if they want to be a boy or a girl.  Dr. Leonard Sax says it's a grave mistake "to put our heads in the sand and pretend that gender doesn't matter."

Dr. Leonard Sax is an asshole.  Little boys like to play with trucks and little girls like to play with dolls.  IT'S SCIENCE.   Unless you're blind you will be able to figure if your kid is gay or straight or transgender.  JEEZ.

DELAYED GRATIFICATION: Some psychologists say success on the famous marshmallow tests (can the child delay eating one, to get two treats 15 minutes later?) is the biggest predictor of success in kids' lives. Kids who can delay gratification do much better in life, get better grades in school, make more money, and are happier than those who can't.

Well that explains it.  You have your successful children who can wait to eat a marshmallow and then you have your unsuccessful children who can't.  Personally, if your kid can wait to eat a marshmallow that is sitting right in front of him then I'm sorry to tell you but your kid is weird.  Any NORMAL self-respecting kid is going to shove that marshmallow in his face the second you leave the room.  THAT'S NORMAL.  HE'S A KID.  So your ridiculous little test sucks.   















Until next time ...
SMOOCHES DARLINGS

Sunday, December 14, 2014

A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS BABBLE ...

Last night the bus was late … AGAIN.  The driver has been late for the last three weeks.  The bus is supposed to pick us up at 5:40 pm and he's been picking us up at 6 pm.  THEN he had the audacity to NOT GET ON THE FREEWAY and took surface streets ALL.  THE.  WAY.  HOME.  If I wanted to do that I’d have driven my own ass to work!  But that was not all … he was freaking whistling the entire way home.  I thought I was gonna have a coronary.  I was this close to screaming at him to PUT A SOCK IN IT!!  You all know how I hate people to freaking whistle in public.  Don’t whistle at work, at the store, on the street OR WHEN YOU’RE DRIVING A FUCKING BUS. 

Thank God my Ipod had power so I was able to listen to some decent tunes until the ride was over.  Once the bus ride from hell was over I still had to do some Xmas shopping.  Drove to the mall, bought some presents and some new work out clothes (don’t judge me) and then I drove home to no meal and a foochie bed that was not made to my standards – which I admit are quite high.  I require a CRISP bed dammit and my bed was not CRISP.  It was rather wilted and wrinkly and the sheets were all soft.  UGH. 



After dumping all my packages, all I wanted to do was take a shower and get into bed (BUT ONLY AFTER I UNMADE IT, AND REMADE IT CRISP) and RELAX which is something I haven’t done in too long because I’m constantly running around doing shit like laundry and picking up dinner.  The hubs was LYING on the couch because he thinks it’s a bed and I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with feet in my lap and another round of “Wives with Knives.” 



So I took my deliciously hot shower, dried my hair, got into my CRISP bed with my computer in my lap and watched old videos of Chicago performing “Beginnings,” “Call on Me” and “Color My World” over and over and over.  These days I find that I am much more nostalgic than ever and I’m pretty damn nostaligic.  I LITERALLY traveled back to 1973 with just my mind … if I could have any super power in the world I’d have the power to travel through time.  Who wouldn’t?  You could undo all the shit you had to go through when you were young and dumb ... like I wouldn't dance with ugly guys, I'd break up with all the guys who broke up with me first, I' tell all my asshole teachers they were assholes.  And I'd never EVER take Algebra.



I also caught Oprah’s “Where Are They Now” … Oprah was interviewing Bo Derek.  Oprah asked her if she’d ever had her heart broken.  You know what that bitch said?  She said NO.  She has never had her heart broken.  And it got me to thinking … do you know who I’d be today if I’d never gotten my heart broken?  Only the most fucking nice person you ever met in your life.  How does one go through life without ever getting their fucken heart broken?!  That is not normal.  Not even once?  Lucky bitch.  That’s where confidence comes from.  From being a “10” AND NEVER GETTING YOUR FUCKING HEART BROKEN.

 


 MERRY CHRISTMAS DAMMIT

Friday, December 5, 2014

DANNYLAND....

SO ... Danny has been home for the last six weeks.  He has Plantar Fasciitis and scar tissue on his Achilles which is very painful and finally went to the doctor.  The doctor said in order to stave of surgery, he wanted him to stay off of it completely.  He was given a Cortisone shot in the foot and then the doctor put it in a cast for two weeks.  That was removed then replaced with a soft cast.  That was removed and now he has been going to physical therapy.  

In the last six weeks he has not made the bed ONCE.  If he goes to the market it is ONLY to get EXACTLY what he needs to make for dinner God forbid he has to lug more than one grocery bag home and put shit away.  Therefore, we have NO FOOD in the house.  No snacks, no nuts, no ice cream, no bread, no soup, no fruit, no nothing.  Every day when I come home from work I say “what did you have for lunch”  His answer usually goes something like this … “oh, I had some crumbs from the Cheerios box and an orange.”  OK I’m exaggerating but it’s not far from the truth.  I’m like “SHIT Dan!  Can you not drive yourself to the store or McDonalds and EAT A MEAL?!”  Then I realize how stupid of me.  That would require movement. 

For this reason and this reason alone I have been spending tons of money on breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And by the way, I still pick up dinner on my way home EVERY NIGHT from a long and grueling day when he could easily get it and have it home by the time I arrive at 7:00 pm.  YES.  7:00 PM.  When it is already DARK and I’m tired.  PLUS I started Xmas shopping.  I spent an hour and a half at the mall last night and I don’t think I have to tell you how exhausting it is to lug around a bunch of packages and a 10 lb. purse when you’re hot and sweaty.  No fun. 

This weekend is my firm Xmas party.  I told him YESTERDAY to make sure his suit is clean and he has a shirt that doesn’t look like he slept in it.  He assured me he did.  I KNOW he did not.  I hope I do not have to attend my office Christmas party with a ragamuffin.


NEXT ...


So I was watching “True Tori” and I swear to God this girl reminds me of myself when I was young.  Very codependent and a control freak.  I feel so sorry for her because she really suffers emotionally and a lot of it is needless.  She and her husband are in therapy but at times it seems to make things worse.  My therapy WORKED.  But I was single and not married so all I had to deal with was myself.  I’m still a control freak but only when it comes to my house.  I like a tidy house and a crisp bed.  I cannot stand coming home to an unmade bed.  ICK.  I have mismatching lamps and I need a sofa.  You have been reading this  for the last six years and no, I STILL DO NOT HAVE A NEW SOFA because Mr. Tightwad has convinced me that we should just wait until we retire.  (I retire in 10 years)  I’M AN IDIOT.  I know it.    

Anyway, you all know that Tori Spelling met her husband when they made a T.V. movie together and they were BOTH MARRIED to other people at the time.  You might be saying "payback's a bitch" and all that, and that is exactly what I would say, but I can't help it ... I feel sorry for her.  She has no relationship with her mother.  It's very stilted.  Her father was a freaking gazillionaire and left her hardly anything.  I think that is especially cruel.  To raise your children in the lap of luxury and then leave them with nothing????  Way harsh.  She is so miserable.  She loves her husband but he was unfaithful, she has four kids and doesn't want to break up her family, she feels like she is the only person who can do anything for them the RIGHT WAY.  She puts so much pressure on herself.  It very sad to me.  Looking at it from the outside you can see how they totally mis-communicate.   

I was telling Danny how I felt bad for her and he was all "look at the house they live in ... they probably get six figures for every episode they film.  Don't feel sorry for her ... feel sorry for US!"  LOL.  He's probably right.  But I still feel bad for her.    Every time she has a confrontational situation arise she gets sick or gets a Migraine.  That is no way to go through life.  Especially if you have four little kids.  She just seems so tormented.   

That's my two cents.  Feel free to tell me yours ...

Smooches Darlings!