Saturday, June 28, 2014


Consider these telling statistics from a handful of recent studies and surveys:
(My comments are in italics)

Managers said they spend, on average, 18 percent of the time dealing with staff conflict.
(Isn't that part of
their job description? MANAGING STAFF?)

Forty-three percent of employees said they've experienced incivility at work, according to the "Civility in America 2011" poll conducted by Weber Shandwick. A Baylor University study found office incivility not only stresses people out during their working hours but also serves as a significant source of strain and strife at home.
Now more than ever, it's critical to find ways to effectively deal with stress and conflict at work. Following are some tips:
Take rudeness for what it's worth.
Being on the receiving end of an unnecessarily sharp barb or inconsiderate brush-off can ruin your day. Why let it? Constructive criticism merits reflection; rudeness does not. So, don't overthink the situation. While you can't control how someone else treats you, you can limit how much it affects you. A person's poor manners or behavior says less about you than it does about him or her.
Or you can do it my way. Keep a box of very sharp pencils on hand and when someone decides to be an asshole simply stick said pencil into said idiot’s eye. He will stop harassing you immediately. Guaranteed.
Don't go it alone.
Opening up to supportive friends or family can be cathartic. Likewise, seeking the wisdom of a mentor or sharing work-related war stories with a trusted member of your network often yields valuable insights and new coping strategies.
Or you can do it my way.  Hire my old neighbor Louie who is an ex-con and will break anyone’s knees for a small fee. Very effective.
Rise above the fray.
Pessimism is contagious, and it's all too easy for chronic complainers to bring others down. Don't get caught up in the negativity. It's possible to keep tabs on office undercurrents without feeding the grapevine with additional gripes, groans or gossip. Displaying a toxic attitude doesn't solve anything, but it will likely make you look bad -- and feel worse.
Or, you can do what I do. Bake some cupcakes laced with Exlax and hand out to your more negative co-workers and then wait. Guaranteed for loads of laughs!
Give yourself a break.
You might believe you can't afford to take time off. But can you afford not to? Whether you jet off to a tropical island or do a "staycation," stepping away to recharge your batteries is healthy. Getting some distance and decompressing has a way of putting even your biggest workplace woes in perspective.
Finally, take an honest look at yourself. It's very easy to point fingers and identify others' annoying personality flaws. But what about your own? Try to be more mindful of how your bad habits, moods and behaviors might negatively impact co-workers.
Or you can just say what I say ... I don't have to take a look at myself because I am not the asshole.  YOU ARE.  HAVE A NICE DAY.  DICK WAD.   

Monday, June 16, 2014


IF, when you have your regularly scheduled hair appointment your husband says ..."BUT YOU JUST CUT YOUR HAIR!" ... YOU MIGHT BE MARRIED TO A TIGHTWAD.

IF, when you return from Cost Co. and your husband asks you how much you spent and you say $46.00 because I needed paper plates and they had a great set of towels for $21.00 but you don't tell him about the $9.00 paperback you also bought ... YOU MIGHT BE MARRIED TO A TIGHTWAD. 

IF, when you tell your husband you're going to Macy's after work to buy Father's Day gifts for your father, your brother and HIM and he asks you ... "how much do you think you're gonna spend?" ... YOU MIGHT BE MARRIED TO A TIGHTWAD.

Yes.  I am married to a tightwad.  His favorite saying?  Count your pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.  How dorky  is that?  He heard it from Dave Ramsey.    

What I find quite comical is that he is usually more concerned with MY spending habits than HIS spending habits.  So I guess you could say he's a tightwad only when it comes to MY spending.  Case in point:  He had this great opportunity to buy a $10,000 bike for $2,300 (YES.  You read that correctly.  TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS) and he says to me, he says "can I get it?"  And what do you think I said?  I said "yes honey.  You can get it."  BECAUSE I know that when I want something and he starts busting my chops with his questions, questions, QUESTIONS about how much whatever it is that I want is going to cost he'll know better than to say ANYTHING to me because he now has his $10,000 bike and I NEED A FUCKEN SOFA AND A BEDROOM SET SO SHADDDUP!!!


Wednesday, June 11, 2014


I SWEAR TO GOD!!!  In my last post where I talk about J-Lo and Casper the Friendly Ghost breaking up I WAS going to say that J-lo will be dating someone new ... like yesterday.  Then I thought ... nah ... be nice.  Then I see this on MSN Wonderwall ...  

Is J.Lo dating 'DWTS' pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy?

Look at her looking all sweet and innocent ... like she hasn't effed the ENTIRE WORLD.
Let me answer this ... YEAH.  She probably is.  And if she isn't "dating" him, she's dating someone else because J-Lo CANNOT BE ALONE FOR ONE  SECOND.  It's incredible to me ... don't these women grieve?  Mourn?  MISS someone?  She's got to be missing a gene or something because that is just not normal. 
When I think of all the nights I cried over some jerk who broke up with me.  Or fretted over breaking someone's heart ... I just don't get it.  That's all.  I have no advice, nothing to say.  No snarky comments.  If you, however, do have a comment, FEEL FREE. 

Monday, June 9, 2014


Don't they look too done with each other?  WOW.  Eighteen years.  Truthfully, I never knew what he saw in her.  However, I like Melanie and I LOVED her in Working Girl.  I can only guess at why they're separating, but if the tabloids are any indication, Melanie has been in and out of rehab countless times and seems to have an addiction to prescription drugs AND plastic surgery ... which, in all honesty, has really fucked up her face.  I'll tell you one thing ... when they first hooked up I was SO JEALOUS.  Antonio was the new hot thing and she got him!  (This was of course WAY before my Viggo obsession) ... with all that said, I always feel bad when a couple divorces ... especially after making a good run of it.  Good luck you two.

And just to be evil... 

Melanie Before ...

Isn't she pretty


Melanie After ...

Ay pobrecita. 
p.s.  I always thought that STUPID Antonio in the heart tattoo was SO DUMB.

 NEXT ...

Jennifer and Casper the friendly Ghost are separating as well.  He's decided that now that he's heading into junior high he wants to know what it's like to date boys girls his own age.  What a pair of jerks. 

I should probably let you know that this is going to be a snarky post.  Not an uplifting, spiritually wise post.  I'll do that next time. 
So I was skimming over the tabloids to find something to snark about and I came upon photos of Kim and Kanye's wedding guests.  This one right here made me want to punch this stupid kid in the throat ...

Jaden Smith shows up wearing a white batman suit.  To a wedding.  Even Kris is embarrassed and NOTHING embarrasses her!

NEXT ....
Maggie Gyllenhaal at the Tony Awards.  OK.  I think she is REALLY talented, but doesn't her face remind you of a baseball mitt?

The headline said: 
"And guess what she named her?"  Guess?  Mhmmm.  Genitalia?
Actually, it's worse.  She named her poor child "ROYAL REIGN."  These folks sure are obsessed with royalty.  Did you know Jermaine Jackson has a son named Jermagesty?  It's true.  Google it.
My next post will be a thought provoking, intelligent epistle.  Promise. 
Til then ...