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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

HERE IT COMES ... DAMMIT!

OK .... here's how I feel about the Paula Deen mess.  Paula Deen was born and raised in the South ... that alone should speak for itself.  I would imagine being born in the South, to someone like me who was born and raised in a big city, is kind of like being born on Mars.  I am not excusing what she said AT ALL, but according to my brother, who lived in Arkansas for 12 years he said that they say the "N" word like we say please and thank you.  And though I find that horribly disgusting, we're talking about Arkansas.  Not California or New York or some other big city where people tend to live in the 21st Century.  (p.s. I still have lots of family in Arkansas and they are really good people.  Really.  So no offense to all good Southerners). 

Here is why I'm pissed.  The Food Network dropped her IMMEDIATELY and she is losing clients, endorsement deals, and her business is going down the toilet, AND FUCKEN RUSH LIMBAUGH is still on the AIR!  I DON'T GET IT!  Rush Limbaugh has said HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE things.  Racist, sexist, misogynistic, UGLY things time and time again and he gets pass after pass.  I swear I do not understand how he can slide and Paula Deen is getting crucified.   

With that said, I am VERY disappointed in Paula because I totally love her.  And though I find it really disheartening to learn that she has admitted to saying the "N" word, I think that compared to the vitriol Rush Limbaugh has been spouting over the last 15 years, it doesn't seem fair to crucify her while that asshole still sits in his little radio booth spouting prejudice and hatred of all things. 

Okay ... onto other people I hate.  Mama Kardashian is getting her own talk show GOD HELP US.  So, apparently she LOVES little North West's name and explains that Kim and Kanye named her North as more "inspirational than directional" and it is meant to represent new heights (? ... that right there is fucken ridiculous).  Kardashian and West even allegedly pondered the thought ... "What's North of North?  Nothing."  ... WOW.  How fucking deep.  The duo (Kim & Kanye) also believe North is their highest point together as a couple, and that she (North West) represents a kind of "North Star" for them ... they are each other's North. 

PLEASE ... ALLOW ME TO SHED SOME LIGHT ON THE WORD NORTH.   


NORTH  
/nôrTH/
Noun:  The direction in which a compass needle normally points, toward the horizon on the left side of a person facing east.

Adjective:  Lying toward, near, or facing the north:  "the north bank of the river"; "the north door".

Adverb:  To or toward the north:  "the landscape became more dramatic as we drove north". 

Synonyms
Adjective.  Norther - northerly - boreal - septentrional - northward.
Adverb.  Northerly - northwards - northward - northwardly.

 

NO WHERE DOES IT STATE THAT "NORTH" IS "INSPIRATIONAL".  NORTH IS NORTH.  THAT'S ALL.  IT'S A DIRECTION.  LIKE UP OR DOWN.  THERE IS NOTHING INSPIRATIONAL ABOUT NORTH EXPECT IN YOUR OWN DELUSIONAL MINDS!!!  PERIOD.  AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! 


We'll see how long kim and Kanye last.  And I can't wait until that little girl grows up and changes her name.

 
NEXT ... CHARLIE SHEEN.  WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM?  Ohmygod Dude you are giving me a headache with all your flip flopping.  You're an asshole, you're a nice guy, you're an asshole, you're a nice guy ... today your an asshole again.  Firing Selma Blair??? ... you are such a dick.  What is the matter with you?  Honest to God Man get a grip!

*SIGH*  ... I feel much better now. 








Thursday, June 20, 2013

UDATE .... Kardashian-West Baby Name Revealed ...

HOLY CRAP ... HOW FUCKEN STOOPID ARE THESE TWO? 

They went and did it.  They named that poor child NORTH.  Her name is North West.  North by Northwest.

 
 

Enough said. 

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY ...


GLORY HALLELUJAH!  STRIKE UP THE BAND AND START THE PARADES!!!  Kimmie FINALLY had her baby!  She's here, she's here ... she's FINALLY here! 
 
Miss North West ... Well, actually, this is NOT her name.  Rumor has it, the baby's name starts with a "K"  ... (at the risk of overusing NeNe, I just can't help myself because her expression so encapsulates exactly how I feel ...   

 

Dr. Terry Dubrow - Horndog and Perv
So I'm in bed playing on the computer watching the Housewives of O.C. and I cannot believe what I have just witnessed ... Slade (The Slimeball) Smiley and Terry Dubrow (plastic surgeon to the uber wealthy and husband of the very, VERY proper Heather Dubrow) have just had a conversation comparing the sexual talents of Lauri Waring- Peterson vs. Gretchen Rossi (Slade's fiancée).  (Heather is going to be so pissed when she sees this).   

To fill you in ....  Slade used to bang Jo on Season 1.  Then Jo left the show to seek fame and fortune as a recording artist (insert NeNe here).  Once Jo was out of the picture, he then started banging Lauri until Lauri found her Prince Charming in gazillionaire George Peterson.  Once Lauri was off the market, Gretchen's much older fiancé conveniently died leaving her $2.1 million his everlasting love and making the way clear for Slade to find true love with Gretchen.  Gretchen and Slade are now "engaged" (and just so you don't think Slade is a total slimeball, he did give Gretchen a better grade than Lauri) ... on a scale from 1 to 10, Lauri is definitely a 10, but Gretchen is WAY more than a 10.  (She must be so proud). 


Lauri - TEN



Gretchen - 10+














                                                        










I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Gretchen sees this episode.  Her man just compared her sexual abilities to Lauri's.  Now THAT, I'd pay to see.

Next, Lydia got her panties in a twist because Slade told her she is so petite, so tiny, that she needed to eat a cheeseburger.  This is where I would grudgingly have to agree with Slade.  SHE DOES NEED TO EAT A CHEESEBURGER.  Her teeth are bigger than her entire head and she has that anorexic looking face ... the big doe eyes, the hollow cheeks, the big assed teeth and the limbs of a toothpick.  

Lydia, do yourself a favor and DO eat a cheeseburger, or two.  With some fries.  And a chocolate shake.  And some pie.  And a piece of birthday cake. 


This incident took place at Lydia's Salsa Party to which the whole gang was invited.  Eddie, the one and only LATINO, just proved to the entire world that he CANNOT DANCE and HAS NO RYTHYM.  Eddie, you're giving Latinos a bad name dude.  One does not raise ones arms like a chicken flapping its wings while salsa dancing.  No. NO. NOOOOO.  Tamra may think you're a hot Latin lover ... but if you ask me, a straight guy would never, EVER wear a skin tight, sleeveless black t-shirt.  (P.S.  Me thinks Eddie is a homo).

(Dude ... you wish) 

he look like he needs jaw surgery

P.S.  These two love birds just tied the knot.  Congratulations you crazy kids.  This is Tamra's THIRD walk down the aisle.  His first.  She has four kids.  He has none.  Tamra:  DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE KIDS ... because SERIOUSLY, I give this marriage three years tops.    

Tamra in virginal blush pink, dripping in diamonds and orchids. 

... and THAT'S all she wrote.