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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

From one extreme to another ....


I know I take you guys all over the place on my blog .... everywhere from my insomnia to my childhood stories to my VENTING and my hopelessly unrealistic desire for Viggo Mortensen. But I read something today that was soooooo beautiful that I wanted to share it with all of you. I'm an avid reader and a lot of that reading has to do with spirituality. However, sometimes I have to take a break from the spiritual stuff because it's heavy ... you know, I think and think and it's meditative and sometimes I just need a break. So, I'd been reading various things, not of a spiritual nature, until I picked up this little book the other day and I just finished it ... it's called The Shift by Wayne Dyer. This quote is taken from A Course in Miracles ...


The memory of God comes to the quiet mind.
It cannot come where there is conflict; for a mind at war
against itself remembers not eternal greatness ...
What you remember is a part of you. For you must be
as God created you. ... Let all this madness be undone
for you, and turn in peace of the remembrance of God,
still shining in your quiet mind.

I LOVED THIS. To me it says that WHO you are has ALWAYS been amazing. A mind at war against itself remembers not eternal greatness ... we must love ourselves, even our less loveable traits and remember always that we were created exactly the way we were meant to be and when you really surrender to the natural flow of life ... just let go and let God ... all will be well. We cannot control anything. Though we may try and try and try ... we can never control anything. When you try to control life or an outcome, and things do not go your way, you get depressed, you get sick, you feel like a failure. Nothing positive comes from resisting what is.

The world's values are false. We are NOT what we do, we are NOT where we live, we are NOT what we weigh, we are NOT how we look, we are NOT what we possess. It just really spoke to me. You know how sometimes when you read the Bible and you might have read a certain passage for years and years and never really got it and then, one day, OMG you get it! That's how I felt when I read it.

It may not say anything in particular to you, but I wanted to share it anyway.

And don't worry ... your sarcastic, humorous and psychotic Debbie will be back soon ...

SMOOCHES!

Monday, March 29, 2010

A RE- RUN ... Random thoughts on Dr. Laura

I originally ran this post about a year ago and since that time I have stopped listening to Dr. Laura and you know what I discovered? I FEEL MUCH, MUCH HAPPIER. I used to listen to her just to get myself all worked up ... what a useless waste of energy. ENJOY!

Since I've been unemployed, I do laundry almost every day. I don't know why this is because I only do laundry for two people. When I worked, I never seemed to do nearly as much laundry as I do now. At least, I didn't do it every day. So, while I do the laundry, fold the clothes, do the dishes, and go up and down the stairs fifty thousand times a day, I have to listen to something or I'll go mad. I cannot do anything in this house without (a) the t.v. being on, or (b) the radio being on. So I have every radio in the house set on the same channel ... and to what do I listen you ask? Dr. Laura. (Doesn't she look like an ex-anorexic?)

This is another one of my sick pastimes. I can't stand Dr. Laura. I merely listen to her so I can pontificate my own views out loud - to no one. I mean, the lady gives good advice ... sometimes ... but this 1950's housewife crap is, well, crap.


All day long you have these morons call her up and say "Hi Dr. Laura, I am my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend". UGH. (excuse me ... I have to barf) ... She definitely has her audience, and may I just say, that any man who calls Dr. Laura is a pussy. Yeah, I said it.



Well, today she had a caller, who married a man who promised her that when they had kids she could be a stay-at-home mom. Well, she has the kid and now he's changed his mind. He likes the money she brings in and now he wants her to continue working and not stay home with the kid after all. Her dilemma - for the sake of her marriage, should she continue working the way her husband wants her to, or, should she just quit her job and deal with the effect that will have on her marriage? So, Dr. Laura, who is pro-PRO-family, tells this gal that she married a "selfish BOY" who lied to her in order to get her to marry him and that whatever she does, her main responsibility is to her baby and NOT TO GO BACK TO WORK. AT ALL. END OF STORY!

Now, here's what I'm thinking. What if this guy says, hey, that isn't going to fly with me so I'm outta here? What then? What about the family unit then Dr. Laura? I mean, can you even imagine coming home from work one day and telling your husband, "guess what? I quit my job today!" Lalalalalalala. The doctor is definitely living in a time warp, and it's in Idaho in the 1950's. I mean, I hate to break it to doctor Laura, but the days of men feeling less than men because their wife has to work are LOOOOOOONG GONE. If I had my own radio show and this gal called me up with this problem the first thing I would tell her is "WHATEVER YOU DO ... DON'T LISTEN TO FREAKING DR. LAURA!!

Listening to this program for the last year, it is quite apparent that she has a very specific audience. Nine times out of ten, the callers are women, who don't work, and have little ones at home. Now, don't get me wrong. That's all fine and good. But what I can't stand about Dr. Laura is that if it were up to her, teenagers would never have sex, unplanned pregnancies would never happen, marriages would last a lifetime, and life would never get messy. She is so unrealistic.

Think about it ... this poor girl calls Dr. Laura, who she obviously looks up to, and you can hear in her voice that she is totally afraid to quit her job and piss her husband off, and this is exactly what Dr. Laura is telling her to do! I tell you I need my own radio show.

So honey, if you're out there, listen to me. Dr. Laura doesn't know what your life is all about. She has no idea who you are as a person, or the pressures you have to deal with or anything else about your life. Dr. Laura is a multi-billionaire who has a radio show and can work or not work, however she pleases and she can do anything she wants because she's RICH! She is so far away from your reality it is comical. Trust me. Your baby is not going to grow another head and grow up to be a serial killer if you work. I'm sorry you're unable to stay at home like you would like to, I really am. But honey, sometimes we don't get what we want in life. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Now ... GO DO THE RIGHT THING

Take that Dr. Laura!

Monday, March 22, 2010

I need a vacation ...

FROM THE WORLD. I'm so tired of reality t.v. and all the disgusting and duplicitous shenanigans of politicians, athletes and what not that I feel like I need a vacation far, far away ... like the MOON. I read this morning on MSN that the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has just been cast. OMG ... another batch of botoxed, big breasted, trout mouthed, filthy rich bimbettes ... Do we really need this? I admit that I have watched ALL the Housewife franchises but the show has become so, so ... predictable. None of these women have any redeeming qualities whatsoever and they have nothing to do with REAL housewives ANYWHERE. The Beverly Hills Housewives cast has two Hilton sisters, Kelsey Grammer's wife, who is an ex-playboy model, the wife of a plastic surgeon and a restaurateur. Just your typical batch of regular gals running their kids around, and trying to find time for themselves in between doing all those household chores ... NOT.

You see these little twits in the car? One of the sisters was arrested for having been part of the Bling Ring .. a group of kids who were robbing celebrities to the tune of thousands and thousands of dollars ... and they gave her a reality show. INCREDIBLE. Is it just me or are you tired of this craziness too? I'll tell you a reality show I'd watch ... I'd love to see these little shits spend a year or two in PRISON ... WHERE THEY BELONG! Another reality show idea ... O.J. and Bernie Madoff and their lives today ... in jail ... you'd have a guaranteed ratings bonanza on your hand.
I do feel that a new trend may be afoot ... at least I'm hoping. Instead of rewarding people for their bad behavior and giving them reality shows I think we're getting to the point that the public is so UNSHOCKABLE NO ONE IS GOING TO CARE ANYMORE. No one is going to care that you eff-d a politician and had his kid and then put your sexual exploits on tape for all the world to see ... they're just going to call you what you are .... an opportunistic beyotch who has no respect for herself and has no regard for others ... no one is going to care that you left your wife and children for a porn star ... they're just going to think you're a perv who doesn't care about your family or your reputation ... no one is going to want to see your stupid reality show. People are NOT going to spend their hard earned money on trash or waste their precious free time watching your stupid reality show. It's coming ... just wait ... no more reality stars, no more reality shows ... PLEASE GOD.

... and that's all I have to say about that.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Sandra Bullock ...


I AM SO HEARTBROKEN FOR THIS WOMAN. I feel so much like she's my girlfriend in my head that I wish I could just call her up. I am crushed for her. I'm so mad at Jesse and that skanky tattooed whore!!!! (Jesse likes these skanky porn chicks ... he was married to one - ugh) WOMEN ... WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO OTHER WOMEN?! I just don't know what else to say except how sad I am about this and how I really feel for her ... let the women of the world unite as sisters and send all our love and support into the ether of life to reach Our Sandra. WE LOVE YOU GIRL!!!!


p.s. I contemplated putting the skank's picture on this post but such a lowlife doesn't deserve to be posted on my blog. However, I do hope that she gets explosive diarrhea and dies in her own feces.

2, 4, 6, 8 ...

I was watching Dr. Oz today and there was a woman on the show who had weighed 194 pounds and was wearing a size 18. She lost about about 40 lbs and got down to 155 lbs and is now in a SIZE 6. AWWWWW, I DON'T THINK SO. I'm not gonna tell you all what I weigh or what size I wear but believe me, at 155 lbs you are NOT A SIZE 6. If you were, I WOULDN'T NEED TO GO ON A DIET!!! At 155 lbs you're probably wearing a size 16 or larger. This is called "vanity sizing" or ... "lying to the customer". In the olden days ... when I was young, the smallest size you could possibly find was a size 3. You could to go the size 3 rack and there were like three things hanging there. HARDLY ANYTHING. The next size up was a 5, then a 7 and so on. Today we have size 0's. WTF. I think a 0 today is equivalent to a 3 in 1975. And a 4 is really a 6, and a 6 is really an 8, and so on. According to the woman above, I should be a size 4.

A couple of years ago ... before I was a big fat pig, I was eating very CAREFULLY and exercising like a maniac. Spin classes, aerobics classes, Pilate's classes, elliptical machine, weights ... I was working out 3-4 times a week for an hour and half and my two girlfriends were wearing size 4 jeans and I was still in double digits. HUH! THIS CANNOT BE. WHERE ARE YOU GUYS SHOPPING?! IT'S VANITY SIZING!

This is taken from a Newsweek article from October 2006:

The average woman is about 155 pounds and 5 feet 4 inches, according to SizeUSA, a 2003 survey by industry research group [TC]2. That's about 20 pounds heavier than the average woman of 40 years ago. But don't assume today's woman is wearing a bigger size than her mother. "According to standard size measurements, that average 155 pound woman should be wearing a size 16, but thanks to vanity sizing, she's probably buying a 10 or a 12." [...]

Think of vanity as self-delusion on a mass scale. Any woman over 40 knows something isn't right if she can wear a smaller size than she wore 20 years and 10 pounds ago. Yet we gratefully slip into a size 6 pair of Old Navy jeans even though we wouldn't be able to squeeze into our 1980 size 10 Calvin Kleins.

I haven't worn a size 6 since IN YEARS. But then I'm in my early 50's, pre-menopausal and my weight gain is very NORMAL ... even though it is depressing.

This is why you have little girls binging and purging and starving themselves to be a size 0 ala Nicole Richie. IT'S SICK SICK SICK. Jessica Simpson was on Oprah the other day and spoke about all the controversy regarding her weight and even at her heaviest, she was a size FOUR (which in reality is probably a size 6 ... which for me ... is a goal!) And the entire world was calling her FAT.

I'm sorry ... I just needed to vent. SO MANY PEOPLE LIE TO US and I'm tired, tired, tired. The fashion industry lies to us, politicians lie to us, celebrities and sports figures lie to us. EVERYBODY'S LYING ... and EVERYBODY must be destroyed ... and that's all I have to say about that ...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Rielle Hunter Speaks ...


When I learned that this broad opened her mouth I wasn't even interested. Really. What can she possibly say that will sway anyone to her side, defense, etc., et al.? Personally, I don't care about "her story". Apparently, she calls Edwards "Johnny" and stated that though she feels compassion for Elizabeth, she is also a beyotch on wheels. Nice. I barely skimmed the article, and it's a long one, but I lost interest. She's a real wackadoo who apparently can read aura's and crap. I mean look at that picture! She's in a man's shirt and a strand of pearls ... she's probably wearing a thong underneath because, according to the article, she's a size 2, (a fact the writer found so important that she had to let the reader know), and she's surrounded by a bunch of stuffed animals because after all, she's just a mom ... (yeah, mother ... -- I can't say it). She's just another middle aged woman who got knocked up accidentally on purpose ... who knows why ... and ruined the lives of so many people. And granted, I know she didn't do this by herself. (p.s. I wonder what it's like to F a Ken doll?)

Okay ... so here's the scenario ... when poor Elizabeth Edwards passes away, will Rielle (not her real name by the way ... she changed it from Lisa Jo Druk to the much more palatable Rielle ... Reille Hunter ... mhmmm, "Hunter", interesting ...anyway) is she then going to take in Elizabeth and John's two minor children? Will she and Johnny get married and raise a happy family together? And don't forget ... John and Elizabeth Edwards also have an adult daughter who is in law school ... do you really think that after her mother passes away she's going to embrace this blond ... idiot? I mean, let's face it ... John Edwards couldn't have screwed himself worse than if he tried to ... carry on an affair with a 40 something videographer who got pregnant accidentally on purpose and then made a sex tape with her and then swore that it wasn't possible the kid was his and that his friend, Andrew, was really the father, and then he had to admit that HE was the father cause his dick was in a ringer and ... I give up.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

O.C. Housewives Reunion

Night before last was Part I of the Housewives Reunion Show and figured I might as well blog about it. Part II aired last night and I thought this should be fun because this year they did something a little different ... they had the husbands on so we could get their perspective on the last season. I could hardly wait to see what Fatboy (Alexis's owner) will have to say. In fact, last night they showed a clip of Vicki calling him a smelly dork. I couldn't stop laughing! And though I'm no fan of Vicki's I had to agree. Not that he's smelly, but he is most definitely A DORK. Jim and Alexis, who are forever touting their devout Christianity at the same time they tell us how much they spend on everything ... I found it really funny when host Andy Cohen asked Alexis how she believes God feels about plastic surgery, she grew quiet and thoughtful ... and then responded that she'd have to take that up with God ... cause you know she has His private cell number.
Last night they talked alot about Tamara and Simon's divorce. She shed a few tearless tears and then they got into Lynne's issues. One person emailed to comment that she thought Lynne "should have tightened her belt instead of her face." OOOOOOOH ... low blow! I think it goes without saying, but Lynne is still in deep denial about her terrible parenting skills and insists that she really is VERY STRICT with her girls and that's why they call her a bitch. Like I said in a previous post, I didn't even THINK of calling my mother the B-word cause if I had ... I wouldn't have a head right now.

Part II of the OC Housewives Reunion has just finished and there were some fireworks but mostly it was just a bunch of adults screaming and pointing fingers at each other demanding things like "respect" and all other sorts of ridiculous shit. I think that if anyone got a message last night it was Gretchen. I think she finally learned that her man/boy-toy, Slade Smiley, is more like Slim Shady. She truly is under the impression that he never dated Lauri (ex-housewife from Season 1) and ... well ... he did. This makes her the third housewife he's bedded. As Andy Cohen asked her: "Don't you feel kinda weird being like ... sloppy thirds?" OOOOOOH! Another low blow! To which she responded "no." So I guess she doesn't mind being the third housewife he's banged.





(Here's a picture of Gretchen and her weenie)


A lot of my friends don't have cable so they don't watch the Housewives. When I blog about them I basically get comments saying ... who are these people? I don't watch cable. And in truth, the Housewives have become quite tedious. I only blog about them because they're so easy to pick on. Now that the OC is done and we're back with the Housewives in NY and the NY housewives are another hot mess and have all changed alliances ... old friends are now enemies and enemies are now friends. Oy vay. This is such a negative depiction of what real female friendships are like. I have a great group of girlfriends and NONE of us act like this.

Jill and the Countess LuAnn are mad at Bethenny. Bethenny is pals with Alex and Ramona. Ditzoid Kelly ("I'm up here and you're down here") hates Bethenny and is now friends with Jill and LuAnn which I'm sure thrills Kelly to death.

For those of you who don't watch, allow me to recap:



Bethenny is the most successful of the Housewives franchise. She is a chef and health fanatic and invented the Skinny Girl Margarita. She was once the BFF of Jill Zarin but alas, there has been trouble in paradise.






Jill Zarin is married to the uber wealthy Bobby. Bobby is a sweetheart and suffered through a bout of thyroid cancer. Jill is very hurt with Bethenny because she did not come to see Bobby when he was in the hospital.






LuAnn aka The Countess, calls everyone Darling and Sweetheart and was recently divorced from "the Count" who was off in Europe banging another royal. She also wrote a book called "Class with the Countess" and is also mad at Bethenny because she forgot to curtsy the last time they met.



This is Alex. It was difficult finding a picture of Alex without Simon because, although you can't see it in the picture, they've actually had a surgical procedure that has permanantly attached them to one another.





Ramona with the "crazy eyes", as the Countess refers to her. Ramona drives all the housewives crazy but now is BFF's with Simon and Alex, which is beyond crazy because she at one time couldn't stand Simon. The Countess is miffed with Ramona because Ramona's husband made a snide remark about her and forgot that she is, after all, ROYALTY and has a TITLE.




Kelly. She is the mother of ... in her words ... two amazing kids and is a complete ditzoid who runs around the Hampton's air kissing anyone and everyone and is madly in love with herself. She recently posed for Playboy and personally, I would have had some surgery before this shoot because her breasteses are completely lopsided.




So, there you have it. I'm certain there will be fights and put downs galore as the need to be heard, photographed, filmed and adored continues on ...

Gee ... I wonder what Debbie's doing right now


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

NEWSFLASH!!!

Remember a while back on my HO HUM post when I was kinda sad cause as far as I knew there were no Viggo Mortensen movies in the near future ... well, he's just been cast to play Sigmund Freud in David Cronenberg's next film! I AM DYING OF EXCITEMENT! SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR! SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO! Do you know what this means? This means future promotion! Q&A's in front of live audiences! Another opportunity to be in the same room with my boyfriend! Ahhhhhh, life is good.

DAYUM! ISN'T HE GORGEOUS!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Oscars

Okay. Those of you who know me know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE award season and ESPECIALLY THE OSCARS! I make everyone in the house understand it is MY night for T.V. ... don't ask me questions, don't make me cook, don't make me do anything! If you don't wanna watch the Academy Awards ... go somewhere! But if you're in the same room with me you gotta SHUT UP!!

I am very happy that Jeff Bridges won. Saw "Crazy Heart." Loved it. Super happy that Sandra Bullock won. I think that she is underrated as an actress because she does so many romantic comedies, but she's really quite good. Did you ever see "Murder By Numbers?" She was amazing in that flick. P.S. The only thing I have to say about Sandra's ensemble is that I didn't like her lipstick. Too magenta pink. I think something softer would have worked better.

I gotta say that I wasn't too impressed with anyone really except Sarah Jessica Parker. She wore Chanel Couture and her gown was AMAZING. Other than that, I can't say that any one looked especially fabulous.


Demi Moore's gown was beautiful ... I noticed she was there without her man Ashton. She looked thin and beautiful ... and she's 57. Not. I hate Demi.


No matter what Mariah Carey wears she always looks the same ... a little chubby with the bozooms always hanging out.
















Zoe Saldana. This gown was beautiful at the bust but all those feathers and frou-frou at the bottom. Too much.
















Jake Gyllenhaall ...
All I can say is YOWZA! I WANT ME SOME OF THAT!















This is the first time I've actually thought Cameron Diaz looked movie star beautiful ... she's gorgous here. Love her hair down with the soft curls. Cameron Diaz is another underrated actress. She's much better than the romantic comedies she does. LOVE HER!























Jennifer couldn't find a babysitter so she snuck the twins ... in her ass.

JEEZ! EVER HEARD OF LIPOSUCTION!













Again, Danny's fantasy girlfriend. The dress photographs beautifully, but pleats and ruffles and fans ... too much!

... and I hate that color.













Good God, James Cameron's wife, Suzy Amis seriously looks anorexic. She needs a tan and a stylist and a Mario's green and meat burrito. She should have covered herself up. I don't want to be mean, but the skin and bones look isn't happening. She has me a little worried ...

Miley Cyrus (I can't stand this kid ... she's 17 going on 35) and her MILF mother. I saw the mom during the red carpet arrivals and she turned around to show the back of her dress ... she has a big old pair of wings tattooed on her shoulders. I'm sorry, but white women in their 40's with tattooes ... cheap, cheap, cheap.



Mariska Hargitay. Beautiful body, beautiful dress. All around grade: A


Monday, March 1, 2010

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Today was rather a uneventful day except for the fact that when I got home from the market I sat on the couch and started watching "Keeping Up With The Kardashians". I do not regularly watch this program, however, as most reality T.V. can do ... it drew me in. The episode I was watching was when the family went to Las Vegas for Kim's birthday and Scott, Kourtney's baby daddy, got stinkin' drunk and basically made a complete ass out of himself by shoving a $100 bill down the throat of a waiter who was serving the family dinner and drinks at a posh restaurant. Once again, this is when I wish that someone from the hood had been present to step in and kick this little pansy's ass. If I could give this girl any advice whatsoever, I would tell her to listen to her mother, (even though the mom is a piece of work herself), the saddest part of this story is that Kourtney, beautiful as she is, is unbelievably co-dependent and I just know that she was thinking that if she got herself knocked up, accidentally-on-purpose, then maybe, just maybe, she could turn her loser boyfriend into a MAN. NOT. This is NEVER the way to do anything. First of all, this guy is only 26 years old. In MAN years, he's still a puppy. She's 30. She's ready to be a wife and a mother and she picked a first class loser. Now, she's brought a little baby into the world and has to deal with this douche bag for the rest of her life ... and you KNOW that at some point this girl is going to WAKE UP AND GET IT and kick his ass to the curb ... but he'll ALWAYS be in her life. Forever, and ever and ever. Personally, I'd rather listen to gangsta rap every day for the rest of my life than have to deal with that moron.


Sunday I went to Borders to do my favorite thing ... drink coffee and pick out a few good books to read and just be all by myself. This to me is HEAVEN. Coffee, books, solitude. HOWEVER, my reverie was rudely interrupted as I had to listen to two 20-somethings yap yap yap not only to each other but listen to the both of them make phone calls for an hour WHEN I'M TRYING TO F-ING READ!!!!!! They were annoying not only me, but to every other person who was trying to do the same thing. THERE SHOULD BE RULES!!!! Remember back in the olden days when people had MANNERS? When you went to a library or a hospital or anywhere public you kept your voice down ... IF you even spoke at all. There was a sense of respect for the other people around you. Sadly, we no longer live in a civilized world and this kind of behavior goes on all the time. And it's not like they're were talking quietly. NO. They were loud and obnoxious.

GIRL NO. 1: NAH, SHE AIN'T ALL THAT. I MEAN SHE'S AN OKAY LOOKING WHITE CHICK AND ALL BUT PERSONALLY, I DON'T THINK SHE'S ALL THAT GOOD LOOKING AT ALL!!!


GIRL NO. 2: YOU'RE CRAZY GIRL. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. LOOK AT HER EYES .. I LOVE HER MAKE UP AND I THAT DRESS IS AWESOME!!!

GIRL NO. 1: YEAH ... I'D TOTALLY WEAR THAT DRESS BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD ON HER!!

GIRL NO. 2: HEY ... YOU'RE GONNA GO SATURDAY AREN'T YOU?! DON'T BE ALL BACKING OUT ON ME BITCH!!!

GIRL NO. 1: IF I WANNA BACK OUT I'MONA BACK OUT BITCH! DON'T BE ALL TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!

GIRL NO. 2: GIRL DON'T BE LIKE THAT ... I TOLD HIM YOU WERE GONNA BE THERE FOR SURE!!! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME LOOK BAD!!


... and it went ON AND ON AND ON. OMG! I wanted to go right up to the both of them and shove each of my fists right down their throats! And the good people sitting around these two morons are just sitting quietly, trying to tolerate it all and wishing that they too, could shove a fist in their respective mouths.

With the advent of cell phones and the ability to communicate CONSTANTLY, I think someone needs to come up with some serious rules of etiquette and then pass a couple of laws that would fine morons like that. Either that, or make it legal to punch someone in the face when they're yap, yap, yapping like a pair of
F-ing chihuahuas!

...and that's all I have to say about that.